mutant sliver slice

I am starving.

I. Am.
STARVING.

None of this oops-I'm-hungry-again-quickly crap. Oh no. It is pure YOU-ARE-DYING-OF-MALNUTRITION every two hours or so.
Ok, I say two hours because that sounds normal pregnant-wise. In reality? More like 45 minutes after eating I start to get a twinge of man,-it-was-rude-of-you-to-starve-us-all-day from every organ in my body. Then after another 45 minutes it is ALL DRAMA. Nausea, light-headedness / faintness, stomachache, headache, human sacrifice! cats and dogs living together! mass hysteria!

They say have a cracker or two.

Ha!

They say you only need about 100 extra calories a day the first trimester, about 200 the second, and 300 the third.

Ha!

Nothing I've read prepared me for NEEDING FOOD EVERY HOUR or feeling like my insides were clamoring for the sweet release of death.

While simultaneously being grossed out at the thought of eating anything ever. Like at all. Nothing sounds good. Even when I'm in the actual process of chewing on something, I'm not committed to it.
I'm starving, but don't want to touch anything food related.

I have 3/4ths of a breakfast burrito in the fridge. I took four, maybe five bites? I wanted the burrito SO BAD, but when I put it near my mouth my entire digestive system shuddered and clenched in a don't-you-dare-put-that-in-here way.

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In other news, we told my parents about Señor on Sunday, 5/7/17. So that was fun. I'd gotten a little treat for them (cinnamon bears for Dad, almond M&Ms for Mom) and wrote a note that said "I'll be home for Christmas" with musical notes and the ultrasounds from last week.
So I guess it's "public" now. I'm not doing the Facebook sort of announcement any time soon. (Maybe June, on the anniversary of our first date? That's pretty cute, right? Or maybe not until Derrick's birthday in July? Who knows.)
I'm not out of the so-called "danger zone", as I'm just under 9 weeks along. But that doesn't really bother me, as I would probably be as open with a loss as I would be with a successful pregnancy. I think, at least. I obviously tend to live a little bit public.

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While complaining, I told my mom about the heavy G-force feeling (like going through a loop on a roller coaster) that was in my tummy. She said it's way too early for me to be feeling like that. Uhhhh... I appreciate that you had SEVEN children. It was also 30 years ago at the earliest. And I am currently feeling like this, and have felt like this off and on for oh, about a month. So I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's not too early.

I need to figure out trying to get insurance here and finding a doctor and all that. Ugh.