A few months ago I told Derrick that I am done. He asked, "So what are you saying?" I said, "I want to leave here, but I don't want to leave you." After some discussion, he asked "What can I do to help you be happy?" I again said that I want to leave, but not leave him. He has always wanted to move to Portland. I told him I will not move in with him, but I would love to move to Portland and explore a new town with him.
A month later Derrick offered to help me save money for the move by moving out of Elle's house and living rent-free in the man cave in their garage. (It houses a couch, dining table, recliner, TV) His roommate Derek was fine with the idea. My parents freaked out at the idea. On April 28th my mom offered to take me to Hawaii with the catch that I had to move home. No. Stressed about what to do, I visited Derrick at work and asked if he'd take his lunch break in my car. With me crying about not knowing what to do, we talked about our future and Derrick said, "I know I've never said this to you before, but I love you." He is great and we are very similar and very different.
So I spent a few weeks packing up everything I have in Colorado (which has seemed to triple since moving here a year ago), and moving it all into the garage of Derrick & Derek.
Wow. The past six weeks have been NIGHT AND DAY from the previous year. I quit being a floater for the salons, and switched to being full-time at the salon five minutes from Derrick's house, and went to a restricted schedule to have Sundays off. So very nice. My anxiety levels have dropped considerably (also helps that I went back on Prozac a few months ago I was having a really hard time at work, sick to my stomach and shaky and panicked. I tried Celexa for two weeks, but had crazy irregular heartbeats that really freaked me out...like to the point of sending Elle a text at 4 a.m. asking her to check on me when she woke up, just to make sure I was alive and kicking.)
Really, it has been so pleasant. I hang out with Derrick for a good chunk of the evening, and hang out alone on the couch with my iPad for a good chunk of the night.
Now we are packing up all of his belongings this week, for our move to the Pacific Northwest. We both quit our jobs already, and have the next three days to get everything done. It's so much work, lots of little details you don't think about...like getting my mail from Elle, refilling prescriptions, and random little things like that.
We got the kitchen, bathroom and closet packed up, today we are working on the electronics we don't need for the next couple of days (TV, speakers, etc.)
Soon we will do the big things: couch, bed, desk, dresser, side tables, etc.
A little bit crazy, yes, but I love being with Derrick. Yesterday while we were driving to Fort Collins, Derrick looked at me and said, "I know we are going to be happy." I agree. Giving service to him is my daily goal, and I know we will enjoy exploring the new city together.