Monday, September 09, 2013


The adventures of a social phobic masklophobic at comic con. (Subtitled: I can't breathe and could use a Prozac right about now. Also subtitled: Why I May Take Up Drinking)

Saw David Prowse and Peter Mayhew (Darth Vader and Chewbacca) speak and am now waiting for Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk)
This room (the Grand Ballroom) smells like bad breath, but that may just be the men next to me.
I am surrounded by The Doctors. If I'm in the need of a sonic screwdriver I know where to turn.

Take a breath, sip the Diet Coke and take a breath. I can do this. Take a breath, take a sip.

"CGI Hulk can not sign autographs!"
Lou is super darling. So dang sweet. I kinda love him. Lou Ferrigno just did a Mr Rogers impression. So. Dang Darling.
"The best part of I Love You Man is that I get to put Jason Segel in a sleep hold...and guys like that deserve it."
Lou sang the Batman theme. I love him.
"A hard part of filming the fighting the bear scene is the bear would have green makeup on his face."
"He's a big monster but you see the sensitivity. I was the Hulk my whole life." Sweet.


"You looked twice. Anyone who looks twice wants some of this."
- guy handing out energy shots, but applies to my dating life


Being at Comic Con is kind of like being in Italy. Walking the streets of Rome, all day men muttered "Bella bella bella" at me. It can go to your head.
Here at the Con I've had a few men pass me and say, "nice!" with a smile (possibly the only time some of these guys make eye contact with a woman, bahaha) (ed. note: I am not in costume.)
A guy approached me, asked how my evening is going and asked if I was participating in the "Sci-Fi Speed Dating" rounds. I chuckled and responded that no, no I am not. He replied, "Well that is unfortunate."

Day two: electric boogaloo.
I was doing okay breathing-wise until the anxiety kicked in when they made me scoot down the row (I was on the edge) and had several people sit by me, trapping me in the row.

"What's the best thing about being a Power Ranger and the worst thing about being a Power Ranger?" <--- my new first date opening line

I was asked to please step aside. Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) rolled next to me in his wheelchair (getting knee surgery next week), so basically, for a brief moment, Chewie was my copilot.

Henry Winkler wandered down the line of people waiting to meet him and shook hands. So, yeah, I shook hands with Henry Winkler. He said it was nice to meet me, which is probably true. I'm pretty cool. I mumbled "you too" as my hands began shaking.
Yep, I'm pretty cool.

Pretending to type, pretending to type. I'm trying to look busy, pretending to type.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't think he wears any underwear at all." - Dean Cain about the new installment of Man of Steel, not having the red underwear on the outside.

"Would I have liked to see him do something else? (Other than breaking Zodd's neck) Yeah. Maybe save that for his fights with Batman. [laughs] Sorry, Bruce Wayne." - Dean Cain

I got the 20% battery warning and ignored it. Suffering the consequences! Sitting on a bench by some old dude, letting my phone charge for a little while.
I am around the corner from the Sci-Fi Speed Dating, and am witnessing some awkward get-to-know-you exchanges. Lurpy, lurpy awkwardness.

It is muggy up here, but at least there's a bit of a breeze. Downstairs is so packed with people, my anxiety started rising while in that crowd. Toooo much.

Day Three - the Meltdown
Quizzically stared at. That's what today is: Cosplay day.

I'm hiding in the bathroom. There are so many people and I feel so stupid being in this costume alone. I need a Luigi...then it'd be perfect. Alas, I am hiding until I can breathe again.
(No matter what fabric your mask is [ie., lace] cut a breathing hole. So much condensation inside my lack-of-breathing-hole muggy near my face.)

I think I'm going to wear my mask on top of my head for a bit. Maybe that'll help keep me from hiding in the bathroom. Oh, and I'll get a Diet Coke. That'll help.

I want to beg people to acknowledge my costume. Please pay attention to the details I put into it. Realize the many nights I was up after 3 a.m., hand-sewing pieces together. The faux leather strap on my mask? It is awesome! I called so many stores, looking for the correct color of leggings. Pay attention to it, but don't notice me. Kthanksbye.

I am so incredibly tired. I wish I could've fallen asleep before 3:30 this morning. I was so tempted all night to turn the light back on and finish my mask. A difficult sleep.
I finished the strap on the mask once I was in my parking spot across the street from the Con. Sewing on Velcro in the drivers seat.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. Breathe.

Nicholas Brendan passed me. I muttered "Hello Mr. Brendan." I am smooth and classy.

"...The lights went black, the spotlights went on and I said THERE'S YOUR BIKE, NEMOY!" - Shatner

Man, William Shatner is getting to be a bit bumbling, I suppose being 82 will do that. But he is a joy. I am very glad I get to watch him in person.

After Molly and Jenny Jo left, I was asked to scoot into the middle of the row. A father and son sat in the once-vacant seats to my left, and a woman in ChloƩ from Kick A's costume on my right. Shockingly, I was okay the whole time! No freak out! Wahoo!
I enjoy Stan Lee. I would love to sit here and just listen to him talk all day. He's just ...well, darling. I have no other word for it.

Looking at the booths with ZackyZack and Jeff makes me more at ease. Hallelujah. I just need a little moral support sometimes.

I got one high-five, a few random "Hey, ShyGuy!" acknowledgements, one "Can I get a picture with you, ShyGuy?" and one "ShyGuy, may I take your picture?"

So it was a success in my book, and an overall very enjoyable experience.

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