Monday, May 13, 2013

Rational Poultry

Asher: "TVPO is my favorite on Star Wars."
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Ryan: "Real men don't use wild cards."
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Deborah: "If you go down I will retroactively use my skip!"
Susannah: "I'll retroactive your face!"
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"Someone needs to get off the teat, the Mtn Dew teat isn't good at night."
"Please let's not discuss any teats right now."
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"Chickens don't have teats! ...could you imagine? With those little beaks? No, they feed them corn like any rational poultry would!"
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Mom: "You have a background of Spanish and German."
Sus: "I don't know Spanish."
Mom: "Haven't you heard us speak it?"
Sus: "I block you out because it annoys me."
Dad: "You say 'hola'"
Sus: "No, I say HO-la, and I'm quoting a movie."
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Jamie: "I wish I glowed like that but I'm not as righteous as they are."
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Melissa: "I wanna wear pasties to the pool."
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Ryan: "Where are your pants?"
Sus: "This is a dress!"
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Sus: "No wonder I'm chunky; my bladder has to be huge--like at least 80 ounces."
Ryan: "Could you please stop talking about your bladder?"
Sus: "It says here that human bladder capacity is like one liter. I'm on my third liter! IT IS LIKE A SUPER POWER!"
Ryan: "You're a dork."
Sus: "Seriously. I'm like Amazing Roadtrop Partner. That and my amazing singing voice. I feel like I deserve a 'You go girl!' or some other 90's cliché."
Ryan: "You go girl."
Sus: ”Thank you. Thank you!"
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Celeste: "During the day they just give you one little packet, at night the give you a handful--they think you're high and just want the hot sauce."
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Ryan: "I consider Idaho up there with the Dakotas; I mean...why?"
Sus: "Have you ever been to the Dakotas?"
Ryan: "No."
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Ryan: "I'm straight outta Nephi right now."
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Ryan: "I decided I'm gonna buy an ambulance...hear me out."
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"I brought my date with me!"
"What is your date?"
"TINY BOBA FETT!"
"I don't know you."
"You can't give me too much crap, your text alert is a light saber."
"There is a big difference between a text alert and a figurine...where did you get that anyway?"
"I bought him in the boy aisle. I love him, but we are on a date so I will awkwardly ignore him all night."

1 comment:

Meridith said...

Oooooohhh the chicken comment. That was fantastic.