Saturday, January 14, 2012

Fuchsia hair and crap

I am used to being rejected for my looks. My entire adolescence and young adulthood I've been rejected for my looks. I am not the short skinny blonde that bewitches without trying. I am the tall chunky brunette built like a cross-dressing linebacker, who is often disregarded.

What? Cross-dressing linebacker women just aren't your thing?
I am so used to it. I am surprised when I receive attention.

But lately I've learned that I'm being rejected not only because I am more masculine than half the men around me, but because I am not good enough.

You dye your hair unnatural colors, I just can't see myself with someone like that.

Wait, what?!

Sue, you are the coolest girl I know. You're fun to be around, you're so awesome, Sue...but you drink caffeinated drinks.

Apparently I am an unworthy person because of my sporadically pink hair, love of Mtn Dew, occasional skirt above my knee (with 40" legs it's shocking more skirts aren't above my knee), my semi-coarse language (what the crap?!), movie collection that includes a few questionable titles (come on, it's a Simon Pegg classic!), I don't bear my testimony enough / am not outwardly spiritual enough (I never have been vocal about this. Ask my family. I have always kept everything very much to myself.), and of course my shirts are too low cut (try having this much flesh and not have a cleavage shadow in anything but a turtleneck!)

Sue, you are awesome, you're the coolest girl I know, but you are obviously a heathen (despite my knowing you are actually a pretty decent person and actually not heathen-like at all.)

So to be worthy of being a good girlfriend/spouse/parent I must have a natural haircolor always, quote scripture in everyday conversations, shun the very idea of a Diet Coke, and refuse to view anything over a G rating.

My mom was right?!

Sorry, guys. It's just not going to happen.

...maybe I need to get out of Utah again.


Aliesha said...

Except that some day (probably in utah) you'll meet this great mormon kid who comes from this amazing huge family. They grew up reading Scriptures every day and even have FHE weekly. The are not afraid to "share" or even perform at large events. All of this is terribly frightening for a girl who won't bear her testimony, pray or even play the piano in front of others. He will say terrible things to you like, "I would never let the mother of my child speak like that." He is totally shocked at your diet coke consumption, really all your food is so shocking that he renames your food choices to "naughty". It's a good thing you'll meet him in the winter because when the short shorts and tanks come out it will be too late for him. He's found in you something he can't live without and the rest of it , all the quirky habits, just make his life more exciting. He won't seem like your type, it won't make any sense. Ten years later you will be joyfully content with a little family and he may even drink a little caffeine.

Meridith said...

Amen, Aliesha.

Meridith said...

I was going to say that you're just hanging out with weird guys, but honestly, it's not the guy or the place--when it's right, he'll love you. And he'll tell you how amazed he is that you weren't married before he found you.

Cora said...

Or someday, you'll find someone who you think would judge you for all those things, pink hairs included, when in all actuality, he's the shy one (speaking from experience) that adores your pink hair, thinks of you as pretty, but doesn't wanna go thru the dating experience due to the blonde perfect ladies he's been trying with- <3 you Sue Lady!!! :-)

Jerry Jackman said...

Susannah, don't worry. You are on the right track. I am so proud of you. I think you are fun, and pretty, and spiritual. I feel completely assured that the right man is out there, right now, probably admiring your spunk and unabashed good looks.
The Diet Coke...well, that's another issue.

TDawgYo said...

Seriously? They didn't have to say anything like that to you unless it was to make you feel bad about yourself and conform to what they think makes a "good wife". All your good qualities - your humor, your loyalty, your beauty (to name a few) - are more than enough for any man who is deserving of your love. Definitely way more than those boys can handle or even deserve. Leave them to find girls they can manipulate, because that's what they're trying to do by saying such hurtful bullshit to you.
You are amazing.
- Your (Loud and Proud) Heathen Friend, Tashina