I am used to being rejected for my looks. My entire adolescence and young adulthood I've been rejected for my looks. I am not the short skinny blonde that bewitches without trying. I am the tall chunky brunette built like a cross-dressing linebacker, who is often disregarded.
What? Cross-dressing linebacker women just aren't your thing?
I am so used to it. I am surprised when I receive attention.
But lately I've learned that I'm being rejected not only because I am more masculine than half the men around me, but because I am not good enough.
You dye your hair unnatural colors, I just can't see myself with someone like that.
Sue, you are the coolest girl I know. You're fun to be around, you're so awesome, Sue...but you drink caffeinated drinks.
Apparently I am an unworthy person because of my sporadically pink hair, love of Mtn Dew, occasional skirt above my knee (with 40" legs it's shocking more skirts aren't above my knee), my semi-coarse language (what the crap?!), movie collection that includes a few questionable titles (come on, it's a Simon Pegg classic!), I don't bear my testimony enough / am not outwardly spiritual enough (I never have been vocal about this. Ask my family. I have always kept everything very much to myself.), and of course my shirts are too low cut (try having this much flesh and not have a cleavage shadow in anything but a turtleneck!)
Sue, you are awesome, you're the coolest girl I know, but you are obviously a heathen (despite my knowing you are actually a pretty decent person and actually not heathen-like at all.)
So to be worthy of being a good girlfriend/spouse/parent I must have a natural haircolor always, quote scripture in everyday conversations, shun the very idea of a Diet Coke, and refuse to view anything over a G rating.
My mom was right?!
Sorry, guys. It's just not going to happen.
...maybe I need to get out of Utah again.