Thursday, October 02, 2008

"If you're going to dress like you just got out of bed then stay in bed." -Tim Gunn

Almost every item of clothing I own is in a HUGE pile covering my bed. This pile is about six feet long, five feet wide and almost four feet tall.
I am trying to organize this into some sort of user-friendly system.

Every time I organize my clothes I learn something about myself. The last time I cleaned my wardrobe (in january) this was the lesson:
I learned that my wardrobe looks like it belongs to three different people. On one hand I have some weird knitted tops that I really should have said thanks-but-no-thanks about. I wear them from time to time, but they have never been upgraded to a standard rotation. They go with the dresses that look more like a 40-year-old church-going black lady than me. But whatev.
On the other hand I have my usual outfits. My tall dark-wash flared jeans, my knee-length bias-cut skirts, my wide-cuffed trousers, my empire-waist blouses, my silky halters, and my tunics. The most overused pieces in my entire wardrobe.
On the third hand (yes, three hands; it strangely fits here) there are all my WHAT THE CRAP?! outfits. My tight stretch pants, my booty shorts, my terry cloth capris, and my huge collection of graphic print Tshirts including many Monty Python, Star Wars, and Nintendo themes and my current favorite of the Pillsbury Doughboy with the words "Love me, Squeeze me, Take me home" across it.

No wonder I'm so weird; I've got three personalities stumbling around in here! And it just gets messy when they try to merge. (I am often guilty of wearing my Super Mario shirt with a little skirt and high heels. Hmmm.)

This time I am learning that I wear the same three shirts with the same two skirts and all the rest of my clothes mysteriously appear on my floor. Also: If its not pink its black. I need some new colors. Also: If I'm not in jeans or a black skirt or black slacks I am in pajamas. I really need to expand my wardrobe when it comes to the lower half. I need Tim Gunn.

I've become enthralled with Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. I think I've only seen three episodes, but I love it nontheless.
"I would wrestle you to the floor of Bloomingdales before I'd ever let you out in the real world wearing this."
"When did Hillary Clinton pay you a visit?"
"She is the Mayor of Hooterville."
"It's a very quick route to dowdiness."

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