Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I will, I won't, I would / I've said more than I should - Memento, Duncan Sheik

I cleaned my room today. I kid you not.

Ok, so I cleaned half of my room. I ventured out to clean the entire thing, but realized that it gets messier before it gets cleaner, and had to stop due to time restraints.

Yesterday I was having a hard time deciding where to put my iMac. I have a little desk-on-wheels, which I had next to my bed at one point. I have since rearranged the position of the bed, thus completely throwing off the position of the desk. My computer was sitting on my little entertainment center, one shelf down from my TV. A horrible place for it, as I had to sit cross-legged on the floor to operate it. No thanks.
The desk was sitting in the middle of the room, collecting anything I had in my hands when I walked in.

I was stumped. Where to put the desk?!

So I did something that I have never done before in this house -- I moved my dresser/armoire/wardrobe/big tall thingy. It had been in angled in the far left corner since the day it arrived and I dragged it out of its massive box.
I moved the dresser/thingy against the vacant wall parallel to the windows. The wall that was usually home to any large items I had lying around; boxes, small TVs, laundry bags, etc.

Then I--get this--hung up my clothes! There is not one piece of clothing on my floor. No really, I hung up the majority of my clothes. I also filled the drawers of my armoire/thingy with lesser-used things.
I learned quite a bit during this excavation of my clothing. For instance: I have eleven nightgowns. I love nightgowns, big silky Lucille Ball in Yours, Mine, & Ours types; but I had no idea I had so many. Also: I have 22 pairs of socks. I hate socks. I hate wearing shoes that require socks. And every time I have to wear these types of shoes (ie: running on the treadmill), I can never find socks. Now I can.

I also learned that my wardrobe looks like it belongs to three different people. On one hand I have some weird knitted tops that I really should have said thanks-but-no-thanks about. I wear them from time to time, but they have never been upgraded to a standard rotation. They go with the dresses that look more like a 40-year-old church-going black lady than me. But whatev.
On the other hand I have my usual outfits. My tall dark-wash flared jeans, my knee-length bias-cut skirts, my wide-cuffed trousers, my empire-waist blouses, my silky halters, and my tunics. The most overused pieces in my entire wardrobe.
On the third hand (yes, three hands; it strangely fits here) there are all my WHAT THE CRAP?! outfits. My tight stretch pants, my booty shorts, my terry cloth capris, and my huge collection of graphic print Tshirts including many Monty Python, Star Wars, and Nintendo themes and my current favorite of the Pillsbury Doughboy with the words "Love me, Squeeze me, Take me home" across it.

No wonder I'm so weird; I've got three personalities stumbling around in here! And it just gets messy when they try to merge. (I am often guilty of wearing my Super Mario shirt with a little skirt and high heels. Hmmm.)

After I finished with my clothes I cleared off a section of my bed and fell asleep. I never knew cleaning was so exhausting. No wait, what am I talking about? That has been my stand on the issue from the beginning!

When I woke up this morning I immediately got back to work. I cleaned out the entire section running from my door to my window. It is a large area, and has always had TONS OF JUNK all over it...I had pathways. Then I vacuumed! I am not joking. It is absolutely clean.

Then I started to find and arrange my shoes when I suddenly realized I have SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND pairs of shoes!!! Nineteen thousand of which are flip-flops. So I gave up. They are still scattered on the floor.

I labeled a box Random Crapola, and as it quickly filled to its capacity I realized nearly all of my stuff is random crapola. Really. I have three feather boas. I have a miniature shopping cart. I love random crapola, but I just don't know what to do with it all...

Where do I display 25 miniature Darth Vader helmets?!

Next to the singing shark, that's where.

1 comment:

Meridith said...

You really need to get a newspaper column.