I often jot down notes while I'm bored at work. I had quite a few notes I was going to post, until I remembered they were in my wallet...which is who knows where, at this point. But I do have todays!
The day goes by faster if I write about the crazies and not have to keep their insanity to myself. The other day a woman came up to me and said, "My mom wears a size or two bigger than me, will these fit her?" and held up a pair of ballet flats. These are who I deal with on a daily basis, and I'm not allowed to call them out on their cracked out questions (although I still try.) I asked, "What size are those?" She answered "They're 8 1/2." I asked, "And what size are you?" She replied, "Around a 7." I said, "Well there you go."
Here is where we play Stereotypical Fun:
Asian women- What is with wandering around the store gathering one shoe of each style you like, in various sizes, then handing me your pile and and saying, "I need these in a 6 1/2"?! Not only do I have to hold back from slapping you (which is difficult enough), I have to play hide and seek with the 13 unpaired shoes I now have in my arms, after pointing you to the 6 1/2 section where each shoe you picked out is sitting, waiting for you.
Latinas- Please pretend to care where your three kids are and whether or not they are running around the store in circles screaming at each other, running into my customers, pulling down my displays, and making my store a complete disaster. Also, if I don't understand what you're asking me in Spanish don't get huffy. This is my 24th year of speaking English and thats not going to change because you want me to know you want me to give you 20% off because you see a scratch in the leather.
White women- If I ask "Are you doing alright?" this does mean "Please disregard my existence by flatly stating "just browsing"; a simple "yes" will suffice, and will make things better for both parties when you realize you actually do need to ask me something.
Black women- What is with the attitude, really? I ain't disrespectin' ya or nuffin', but COME ON. Are you just constantly angry and convinced everyone should worship you?
Polynesian women- Please bring your 20-something-year-old sons with you next time.
(dang it, ran out of time...more to come.)