"Back in the mid-90's we used to have a thing called dignity...it was back before Justin brought sexy back and replaced it or whatever"-Craig Ferguson

I just did the most horrible color service on a client EVER in my entire career as a hairdresser.

She had naturally dirty blonde hair. It had been highlighted mutliple times then an all-over brown was put over the highlights. Then the brown was highlighted multiple times. Then she had another all-over brown. Then she let it grow out for four months.

And she wanted highlights. Oh my.

Glancing at her you'd think her hair was all one color rather than the FIFTY GAJILLION various colors it really was.
I couldn't highlight with a color because color does not lift color, so I had to use bleach. Eek. After foiling in each highlight, all around her head, for two hours (!) they were pulling up all uneven (shocking...not really) because here we go: if you BLEACH something that is multi-colored it is going to pull up multi-colored. She wanted it really blonde, I suggested we take off the bleach right then, even though it was mostly gold and some parts were orange, and thank the heavens I did because OH MY. her hair melted.

MEL.TED.

The hair strand had been so messed with (opening it up, breaking up the pigments, etc) that it no longer had structure as a hair strand. Holy hair falling to pieces, Batman!

The bleach expanded in the foils, puffing each one up, spilling out the sides. TOTALLY BLEEDING IN. DANG IT ALL!!! Instead of slices of blonde there was a big ol' splotch of blonde above her left ear. Grrrrr.

After washing the bleach out, I cut in some long layers...or tried to, at least. Each time I combed through her hair the blonde bits would stretch out like over-used elastic.

Ok, so I didn't walk away from that one with a large tip...or any at all. Jamie had checked my haircut (which was perfect, by the way, at least I can do something well) and when my client left the salon Jamie looked over at me and I started laughing. She said, "We aren't even going to talk about that one." Hahaha, I know, right?!

Suzanne: "Don't even worry about it, Susan! ...Susannah."
Jamie: "Whoa."
Susannah: "Wow, of all people."
Jamie: "And you hate it when people do that."
Suzanne: "I know! I do!"