Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A 12-pack a day habit

I've restarted this sentence about seven times. My brain is like a TV whose remote is being stepped on. Enough with the channel flipping!

Uh...I'm kinda rambly.

I have a new job. I pimp reasonably priced shoes. I've got to say, I'm glad to be employed and all that, but I don't like having to say I work retail. Eh. I never have a day off. Nev.er. If I'm not at the store I'm at the salon. I enjoy both, but I'm pretty exhausted. I just want a whole day to myself. Or to hang out with my nieces or something.

I have money. I'm talking about numbers BEFORE the decimal point in my bank account. I haven't had real actual money since forever. I went grocery shopping for the first time since October. I've begun calling the past two months The Famine of '08. One afternoon I was on the phone with The Honeyman and I started telling him everything in my pantry. I was in an all out laughing fit. "Expired peanut butter. A box of cake mix. A can of chili. Expired crackers. Expired chicken noodle soup...no, I opened it, it was nasty. Spaghetti noodles. A giant can of wheat. A can of dehydrated refried beans."
...I lost 10 lbs during The Famine of '08.

Every single time I watch Ace of Cakes with Elizabeth I am convinced I can decorate cakes like Duff. So Liz and I discussed making a cheeseburger shaped cake. Hecks yes! I wanted Duff to make me a baked potato cake, but then I saw on their website that they'd already made one! So I'm going to have to make my own. It will be lovely.

My instructor, Jen, doesn't like me much. She makes me nervous to talk to her, so my questions come out mumbly. Then she is just dumb in general, and never really gets what I'm talking about. So it makes for awkward conversations.

I took a test that asked a question like: What are the six facial shapes? Ok, so here's the problem: it was followed with four filled in answers and one blank space. Both round and diamond were missing from the list. I wrote "round" and GOT IT MARKED WRONG. Diamond was "correct." I tried to ask Jen about it. She didn't understand what I was talking about. I said, "THEIR ARE SIX SHAPES, AND THIS GIVES FIVE! My answer was CORRECT, Jen." She told me I could call State Board about what would be the correct answer. Are you KIDDING ME?! How about you make an executive decision and realize you are an idiot and give me the full 100% on the test.

I just took a test on wig making. One of the questions was something like: "A horizontal cut made to remove width from the nape." and gave multiple answers. Here is my problem with that: A horizontal cut does NOT remove width. That would be a VERTICAL cut, aka a dart. A HORIZONTAL cut would be a tuck. (Think Princess darting on a shirt, or a tummy tuck.)
I said, "Jen, this question is all messed up. Which part of this question should I answer? It should be vertical, or it should have a different definition." She said, and this is verbatim: "What? What are you talking about?" So I explained myself again. Then again. So she finally said, "Umm, I'll find out." She never found out. I guessed they actually meant the first part, and the second half of the question was just someones goof up. I got it right on the test.

Today I was sitting in my classroom with my salad on my desk and Jen asked me to go to the lounge. She said, "I mean, it's just that we are doing hair in here and if State Board came in it would be a big violation." I was just like, "Oh, ok, cool, whatever you want." So Nadia and I went in the the lounge. She was waiting for Rachel and Brenda to come back with her dinner. We had been sitting there for quite a while when I asked Nadia if she wanted to go back into the room and see if Rachel was back. She left and quickly came back with her food in hand. She said that Rachel and Brenda were just sitting there, eating, and Jen hadn't said a thing to them about it. Nadia was TICKED. I didn't care that much, I mean, whatever, if Jen's going to be a jerk I'll just stay out of her way. Nadia was fuming for a while that Jen shouldn't have favorites and she should give equal treatment to everyone. I agree, but whatever.

Uh...what else was I going to say?

I think my brain went to sleep.

No comments: