Are you really this dumb?

One of the pipes on the side of my house froze and broke and is spraying water everywhere. I just learned this through a phone call from my roommate. (The same thing happened to Elizabeth today--it is in the 30s outside)

I told her that my sister and brother-in-law are gone and that I will be babysitting until near midnight, and I also don't have my car so I can't come over there and check it out. I told her I wasn't sure what she needed to do and that I would call my parents (the homeowners) and ask them. My dad wasn't sure, and he suggested I call my oldest brother (who was the original homeowner.) Aaron Ray gave me a few suggestions of where to turn off the water. He wasn't sure exactly, because it has been 5 years since he lived in the house.

I called my roommate back and told her that my brother thought it was the sprinkler system, so that is where I was having her look.

Susannah: "In the front yard, there should be two green boxes in the flower patch right off the front porch."
Roommie: "You want me to go out there?
Susannah: "Yes."
Roommie: "In the back yard?"
Susannah: (are you really this dumb?) "No, the front yard. The flower patch off the front porch."
Roommie: "Oh."
...
Roommie: "I don't see anything."
Susannah: "They should be there in the flower patch."
Roommie: "I guess I should get my flashlight."
Susannah: (duh.)
Roommie: "Oh, I found something."
Susannah: "Ok, take the lid off and tell me what you see."
Roommie: "It won't come off. I don't know if it comes off. I don't know how to get it off."
Susannah: "It comes off.
Roommie: "There's wires, I'm afraid of getting electrocuted."
Susannah: "Check the next box."
Roommie: "There isn't one."
Susannah: "There's another one near it."
Roommie: "Oh, here's a raised something...it's hard to get to. We need to trim these bushes."
Susannah: "What's in that one?"
Roommie: "I can't get the lid off. I'm sick and I don't feel well, I'm going in."
Susannah: "We need to get the water shut off. If the baby wasn't asleep and I had my car I would come and try it, but I can't so I need you to do it. Ok, my brother said that if it wasn't the sprinkler system and was the water to the house it could be turned off in the garage."
Roommie: "You want me to check in there?"
Susannah: (nah, just go to bed. i'll just be sure to let you pay the entire water bill for this month.) "Yes."
...
Susannah: "Check along the left wall."
Roommie: "Where?"
Susannah: "In the garage, check along the left wall for the lever to turn off the water to the house."
Roommie: "Oh, in the garage?"
Susannah: *eye roll* "Yes."
Roommie: "Wait, thats to turn off the water to the house?"
Susannah: "Yes. He thought it was the sprinkler, but it might not be, so lets see if this does it."
Roommie: "I don't really want to turn off the water to the house, I need the water."
Susannah: (Are you freaking kidding me?) "We can't have the water spraying. We need to shut off the water, and if this does it then it does it!"
Roommie: *sigh* "I can't find it. Can't you call anyone around here?"
Susannah: "I don't know anyone around here! Can't you call the husband of that one friend of yours?"
Roommie: "Christina?"
Susannah: "Sure, her."
Roommie: "I haven't talked to her in a few months. ...I guess I could call her."
Susannah: "Great."
Roommie: "I'll make a few more calls."

(She eventually called a plumber and he turned it off, free of charge.)
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Seriously, man. Ugh! My parents and sisters give me crap for not being super nice to her, but it is incredibly difficult for me to be nice to IDIOTIC people.