Wednesday, November 15, 2017

the end

I'm anxious and nervous and sad and grieving.
I'm not ready to not be pregnant.

I could do without the constant heartburn and the heaviness and achy everything, sure. But I am loving this. I get to lay here and watch my American Ninja Warrior do parkour on my innards, feeling the pressure against my organs and watching the shape of my belly warp quickly. I'm a good mom right now! He is healthy according to all scans and non-stress tests, I've kept my blood sugar in check, he is being fed, he is sleeping well. When he comes out, the real test starts. But now? Now I'm doing well. I've got this.


----

It has been an interesting ride lately.
Almost six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I've had SUCH a nice, easy, pleasant pregnancy that I was admittedly completely distraught at the diagnosis. I cried for like two hours. I told Derrick and Deborah, I know it'll be fine and all will be well, but I need a this-sucks day.

After my initial breakdown, I was more annoyed with people's reactions than the diagnosis itself. A few people acted like Of course I'd be diagnosed with diabetes, that's not surprising at all with my body. Listen, DummKopf, it has to do with the hormones secreted by the placenta, and how that interacts with the cells ability to take in glucose, and I have great health in general. So buzz off.

My doctor declared because of the GD he would probably want to induce at 37 weeks, which would be the day before Thanksgiving.

I met with the nurse and dietician and learned what to do to take care of my little guy, then met with the perinatologist and got an ultrasound to check on him. She said he looked great, he was measuring about a week ahead, and was 5.1 lbs that day. We told her our Dr wanted to induce at 37 weeks, and she disagreed and said she'd be thinking between 38-39, around the first week of December.

I followed the plan the nurse and dietician gave me, but my fasting number was staying a bit too high, so they have me shooting up with insulin before bed. Derrick does the job for me, because I just could not do it, I don't think. Thankfully, we got the insulin pen rather than the little syringe and vial. The pen makes life much easier and less nervous, haha.

They set us up for non-stress tests twice a week to check on SeƱor's fluid levels and his heart function. Each one has been great so far. There was only one time when they had a hard time getting the spikes in heart rhythm that they were looking for, but really the nurse doing the non-stress test was kind of dumb. That was the first and only time she did it on me. It took over an hour, when it usually took about 25-30 minutes.



While at a Dr appointment on November 3, we decided to test both Derrick's and my thyroid function. After getting my blood drawn, we were chatting, and I suddenly was light-headed, and told Derrick such. And then I said I was getting nauseated and just didn't feel well. And then there was SO MUCH pressure pulsating through my head and my hearing went fuzzy and then gone completely and my sight went dark slowly and then gone completely, I got really hot and couldn't breathe...I was getting scared. I remember saying, "I don't like this!" and then I was out.

And then there was a darkness and a calm feeling for a long time. Peaceful.


After what felt like forever, but I'm told was only a couple of minutes, there were really far-away voices, like I was deep under water. Someone was telling me to breathe deeply. I then realized there a water bottle in one hand and a granola bar in the other, but I couldn't think clearly enough to figure out what to do with them, and couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to see them. The voices were still fuzzy, but got louder and someone told me to take a drink, and I struggled so hard. I was trying, but could only get the water bottle up to my chin, and then just kind of froze while my brain was figuring out what to do next.

I have a vague recollection of Derrick wiping down the sweat from my forehead and the nurse putting a wet towel on my neck. (Derrick later told me he ran to grab the nurse as soon as I got wobbly.)
It took about ten minutes to function semi-normally again, but didn't feel well the entire rest of the day. I ended up going to work for about an hour, before being sent home.
(The results of that thyroid test were good, however. So that's great.)
We're not sure why that happened. My blood pressure was 116/70something. My blood sugar had been 91 before eating a large plum, so it shouldn't have been a blood sugar crash. Derrick said he thought it was probably anxiety about getting blood taken, but I'm used to anxiety and that wasn't even that bad, and they hardly took much blood at all (like struggled to even fill a vial), the only thing was that the arm rest thingy was laying across my baby belly, and the phlebotomist was kind of pressing on it while prepping Derrick's arm, so maybe it pressed on a nerve? I don't know. Not a fun situation.




Everything was going well, I was following the plan, keeping my blood sugar numbers great, I even lost a few pounds and got down to a little less than I was at our wedding. Yay. I asked my Dr if he was still thinking we'd have to induce the day before Thanksgiving still. He said no, everything is looking good, we'd probably be looking at 38 or 39 weeks.


...Until I suddenly gained 11 lbs in a week, got a few headaches, and my blood pressure fluctuated from low (111 over 47) in the morning to high (130something over 95ish?) in the afternoon. So my Dr said he was worried I'd develop pre-eclampsia. He said it wasn't to the point that he'd require bedrest, so I asked if he wanted modified rest, reduced movement. He said Yes, exactly, and that I'd need to remember to lower my carb intake because I wouldn't be as active. I asked if there is something I could do to lower the blood pressure, and he said he'd normally say exercise, but that's the opposite of what he wants me doing right now.

So.
He said, "We've been toying with the idea of inducing at 37 weeks, and that is probably solidified now." Boooooo. I said, "If I have any control over it at all..." [he laughed] "could we shoot for a few days after Thanksgiving instead? I'll have siblings in town." He said yes, if things don't get worse and we have some leeway, he would agree with that. So yay. My sisters are planning a baby shower on that Saturday with family members and neighbors, so I'd really love to be able to do that.


But this cute little nose is worth whatever they want me to do.




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