Friday, July 02, 2010

May 2010 in the classic style of Tweet

Putting new pink streaks in my hair. 'Cause, ya know, its Saturday night and I have an exciting social life today. :/ 9:04 PM May 1st via web

Am stuck in a rambling talkativeness state. Apparently those whopping 4 hours of sleep just didn't cut it, sheesh. 4:20 PM May 3rd via web

There is a large percentage of my brain filled with near-useless information. On that note: Happy birthday, Lance Bass! 1:13 PM May 4th via web

Ya know what is one of the best things ever? Digital copies included on DVDs, thus having Star Trek on my iTunes w/o finding the disc. 1:53 PM May 4th via web

My dad made my mom's lunch; couldn't find honey, was going to make a peanut butter & caramel sandwich. I intervened. You're welcome, Mom. 3:41 PM May 4th via web

My Grandma's Mexican worker (her words) piled lilac bush trimmings up to/on George's hood. My Spanish is limited to the Taco Bell menu board 1:52 PM May 5th via txt

The "I'm annoyed" conversation would come out: "Burrito empanada, dude. BURRITO!" Wed May 5 13:57:39 2010 via txt

Put the treadmill on a 10% incline w/o my inhaler. 'Cause apparently I like when my lungs shut off and I feel my heartbeat in my forehead. Thu May 6 02:43:44 2010 via web

Wish I was financially stable enough to get my own place. My mother is giving ultimatums and threatening to throw away my things again. :/ Fri May 7 12:10:00 2010 via txt

Home alone Saturday night. Twisted albino jaguar print shirt on, Clinique chubby stick in grapevine smeared on my lips. Um, self photoshoot? Fri May 7 22:21:42 2010 via web

When you work through *every single weekend* you lose the ability to know what day it is. Apparently tomorrow is Saturday. Who knew? Sat May 8 00:45:58 2010 via web

It reaches that point in the evening when I realize I have to be up in 3 hours... is the little bit of sleep worth it? Gah. Sat May 8 03:04:53 2010 via web

Drove all the way to my little bank in Sandy before realizing today is Saturday and they're closed. Gah! Sat May 8 14:58:06 2010 via txt

4 y.o. Sophia: "I'm a blutterfly!" Susannah: "A blood-or-fly?" Sophia: "A cat-a-piyar, Sue-nannah." Sat May 8 18:33:53 2010 via txt

"Ouch my cheeks hurt. You need to stop being funny today." hahaha, Ryan is the Joey to my Phoebe. Sun May 9 13:44:48 2010 via txt

Ryan: "In a few years you'll be celebrated on this day ...and I'll be helping your cats pick out the gift." Sun May 9 23:20:37 2010 via web

Nagging doesn't lead to movement from me. (!!!) Nagging leads to homicide. It's true; I've seen CSI. Mon May 10 22:59:46 2010 via web

For sale: 25 y.o. SWF, slight defect: can do nothing right. Apparently her parents messed up with this one, as she turned out SO SCREWED UP. Mon May 10 23:24:05 2010 via web

Today my mom offered to pour me a diet Mtn Dew. That is like June Cleaver telling Ward to pick up some KFC on his way home. Doesn't happen. Tue May 11 18:19:17 2010 via txt

Why is it that every once in a while I can't reach FB. My bookmark, a search, and typing in the URL all bring up Google rather than FB. Huh? Thu May 13 03:11:44 2010 via web

Lunch with Adam. Tried tofu for the first time...not bad. Thu May 13 13:54:34 2010 via txt

I love my guyfriends so much. They are such fun. It'll suck when they all get married off and its no longer ok for me to play with them. Thu May 13 15:33:37 2010 via txt

Client offered me half of his cupcake. Hahahaha, so random. Fri May 14 20:02:18 2010 via txt

Some days 4 miles on the treadmill feels like nothing. Other times (read: today) going 0.25 miles feels like death. Uphill death. Tue May 18 23:19:24 2010 via web

Doing genealogy today. I have a distant great-cousin named Utahnah. Really. So I'm thinking about naming a future daughter NewMexycoh Wed May 19 13:07:39 2010 via web

Was lectured by manager because my haircuts are -wait for it- too stylized uniquely for each client, too good. Wed May 19 21:26:35 2010 via txt

Dad gave me a rubber bracelet he got at the clinic today, because I love free crap. Imprinted on it: Remember Typhoid Vaccine. Sweeeet! haha Wed May 19 22:02:10 2010 via web

"Thats why things wouldn't work out between us...I don't get the nerdy stuff." - Adam hahahahahaha, oh my. So funny. Thu May 20 23:59:14 2010 via txt

In about 16 hours I will be hosting a fondue party. I've never made fondue in my life. Also: I have to sleep and work 8 hrs before this. Uhh Fri May 21 02:40:24 2010 via web

Gave a caller our cross streets, she was adamant they do not intersect. I got feisty and said "What *I* am telling *you* is Yes they do!" Fri May 21 09:48:07 2010 via txt

She figured out why she was wrong, but now she is coming in for a haircut and I don't want to talk to her. #goawaycrazylady Fri May 21 09:50:04 2010 via txt

Shasta diet grape soda tastes like Chloraseptic spray. Gross. This coming from someone who loves the chemically taste of diet sodas. Fri May 21 11:45:29 2010 via txt

5 more hours of work, then my 2 week vacation begins. Dear 5 hours, please go quickly. Smooches, Sushi Sat May 22 14:44:52 2010 via txt

Today I got request a for a Zack Morris haircut. Awesome. (original middle school? Classic high school? Or S.B.T.B. The College Years?) Sat May 22 19:15:59 2010 via txt

Just landed in Las Vegas. Ah, my two week vacation begins now. :) Sun May 23 11:23:03 2010 via txt

Day 1 of being faux mama and I discover my niece's forgotten lunch in the car 25 minutes after dropping her off, haha. Mon May 24 10:24:18 2010 via txt

FauxMama Day 1. The 5yo- "Ok, I'll tell you the truth. I kinda pooped my pants, but I took care of it by myself, k? I TOOK CARE OF IT." haha Mon May 24 15:46:55 2010 via web

9y.o.- "Am I the only one who doesn't know who John Cena is?" haha, strangely enough...yes. Mon May 24 18:20:49 2010 via txt

Happy Towel Day! Do you know where your towel is? (Sometimes I supress the geek inside. Sometimes it comes screaming out.) Tue May 25 10:29:42 2010 via web

FauxMama day 2 is a vacation because the only obligation I have for the next 3+ hours is to hang out with my hilarious 5yo nephew, Luke. Tue May 25 12:55:46 2010 via txt

"Emma and me weren't alive when Caroline was a baby. Was Jesus still not done making us?" -5y.o. Luke Tue May 25 13:29:23 2010 via txt

Luke trying to understand text messages: "Uh, so does the paper envelope fly through the universe and then come back to the world?" Tue May 25 15:15:07 2010 via txt

Biggest Loser season finale in a half hour ...get out the ice cream! I'm so pumped! Tue May 25 20:33:22 2010 via web

...I'm annoyed the TBL live finale has already aired in other places. Accidentally read spoilers. Gah. So annoyed. Tue May 25 20:45:27 2010 via web

I love Sirius xm Live On Broadway, but I need the host to stop saying Brava! every other sentence if I want to keep my sanity. Wed May 26 10:30:09 2010 via txt

At the library with the little dude, pouring over a huge book on the human body. Luke finds the idea of a tail bone to be HILARIOUS! Wed May 26 13:40:58 2010 via txt

The 5 y.o. fell asleep over 4 hours ago... uhoh... bracing myself for some 2 a.m. awake-and-bored action. Wed May 26 22:38:44 2010 via web

Tried to entertain a wide-awake 5y.o. at 3:45 a.m. My nephew loves the Transformers movie now... sorry about that, sis. Thu May 27 10:09:23 2010 via web

My last day as a Faux Mama. Then I'll be back to being a bad influence Auntie, mwa ha ha. Fri May 28 08:34:30 2010 via web

repeating No peppers, please! does not mean please pile on the peppers, rendering my sandwich unedible, Miss Subway Employee Fri May 28 12:42:40 2010 via txt

9yo while we have root beer floats: "Do you wish you'd made it on The Biggest Loser, Auntie?" Sus: "Uh, sure. Thanks for the reminder, Ems." Fri May 28 17:42:18 2010 via txt

"Carry mine, carry my, you like to read my poker face." Emma is walking around singing her misheard Lady Gaga lyrics, hahaha Sat May 29 10:34:42 2010 via txt

" have got to love your buddy. Puh puh puh poker face, puh puh poker face." haha Care: "How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke 'er face." Sat May 29 10:42:00 2010 via txt

Always fun to get calls from creditor while on vacation. Especially when they made the mistake and tried to take my money 4 days early. Nice Sat May 29 11:12:29 2010 via web

Discussing marriage with my big sister. Conclusion: I am far too stubborn, selfish, and independent at the moment. No shocker there. Sat May 29 13:17:46 2010 via txt

Sus: "What is that place?" Ash: "Its like Lane Bryant." Sus: "Oh." Ash: "...but for skinny folk." Sus: "HAHAHAHAHA!" Sat May 29 22:46:23 2010 via txt

Exhausted, laying on Ash's car. "I'll refuse to take you home until you agree to move back to Las Vegas." -Ashley hahaha, I'm SO TIRED!!! Sun May 30 00:58:01 2010 via txt

Niece and I are plotting, err, planning our San Diego activities. Its what I get when I'm the only unmarried sibling--an 11yo girl as my bf. Sun May 30 21:27:23 2010 via web

I'm in shorts in public. Denim shorts that hit mid-thigh. Uhhhh... Not sure how I feel about this. I need supervision when I pack. Mon May 31 19:33:35 2010 via txt

At dinner with @muffymoo @bencrowder and my parents. I'm in shorts, Ben's actually wearing a T-SHIRT and dad's doing "the sprinkler." Oh my. Mon May 31 22:28:27 2010 via txt

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