Sometimes I miss working in Jayar's office. Oh heavens, some of the conversations with him or Frank (his uncle/colleague) still leave me in tears from laughing so hard.
Jayar: "A spoonful of crack helps the medicine go down."
Frank: "I'd pull the plug for you man, if your head was ever cut off and you were just lying there with a cap on your neck. I'd pull that plug, Jayar. 'He never wanted to live with a cork.'"
Frank: "Hey, I found some paperwork of yours the other day. I wanted to check with you if you need it before I destroyed it ...so I shredded it yesterday.
Susannah: "Did someone sell a truck to your dad named Oscar?"
Jayar: "My dad's name is Oscar."
Susannah: "No it's not, shut up."
Jayar: "My dad named Oscar? A truck named Oscar..."
Susannah: "No, did a dude named Oscar sell a truck to your dad? Or did you sell a truck to Oscars dad? Or did you sell a truck to a dudes dad named Oscar?"
Jayar: "Where is this coming from?"
Susannah: "Some guy named Oscar is in the front office, and he's trying to remember who he is here to see."
[while looking at a business card]
Susannah: "If you had a bright red face do you think that you would do something about that before getting the picture taken?"
Jayar: "You mean the sunburn?"
Jayar: "With the bright red backround?"
Susannah: "Yeah. And the red hair and goatee."
Susannah: "Do you think he was going for the monochromatic look?"
Susannah: "I'm kind of a grammar and punctuation nerd."
Jayar, singing: "Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!"
Jayar: "On a scale of one to ten my excitement level isn't very high."
Susannah: "It was just funny that you explained the numerical boundaries, yet didn't assign your excitement level a numerical value."
Irma: "Haha. Like from one to ten it was a C."
Frank: "I'll be back. Will you be here til 5?"
Frank: "Ok. I have a key...but if you lock me out I'll still be upset."
Jayar: "Hey Susannah, can I borrow George (my VW) to go to my dentist appointment?"
Susannah: "Yeah; but you break him you buy him...You break him you buy me a brand new him."
Frank: "You need to marry money...a doctor."
Susannah: "No thanks."
Frank: "Or a dentist."
Frank: "Why not dentist?"
Susannah: "The expectations would be way too high for my own dental situation."
Frank: "Why not doctor?"
Susannah: "Insurance is way too high."
Frank: "How about a successful mortgage professional?"
Susannah: "Haven't met many of those." (Oh snap!)
Jayar: "You don't think I'm successful?"
Susannah: "We've been through this before."
Jayar: "Do you find me repulsive?"
Jayar: "Is it because I'm mean? Do you think I'm mean?"
Susannah: "Oh my. Hahahaha."
Frank: "Thats the way it should be; it should not be any other way."
Susannah: "Did you see the shirt I want? With the laser gun and it says 'beeew!'"
Jayar: "You're funny. But I'm still upset at you."
Jayar: "Something about me not being good enough."
Susannah: "Do all of your eight brothers have classic names like Bill and Frank?"
Susannah: "Duh, I know your name is Francis."
Frank: "Yes. Bill is William, Christopher, Mark, Robert, Daniel, Francis, Jamie..."
Susannah: "Oh, that's cool."
Frank: "Robert?! I don't have a brother named Robert!"
Pam: "Why are you chuckling?"
Sus: "Jayar just told someone to quit smoking."
Pam: "Oh really?"
Jayar: "It didn't go over well."
Jayar on Korean pop music: "'Chong cheenga chonga chong chong I want to love you all day cheenga chong'; you know thats what they're saying."
[While discussing --in person-- what to do with a file]
Jayar: "Ok, I'll call you about it later, Chica."
Jayar: "Yeah, I was talking to you, Susannah, and why I said something like that...I don't know."
Frank: "Hey, Susannah, we saved you a piece of pizza but then we left it on the table when we left--it's really the thought that counts."
Frank: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...you won't."
Jayar: They don't adhesive well enough.
Susannah: They don't adhesive?
Jayar: There are those who adhesive and those who don't adhesive well...if you follow me.
Irma: "Remember this guy?"
Jayar: "Who is this guy?"
Irma: "Remember? He's the guy who came by when you were gone, I told you about him. He used to be a drug addict."
Jayar: "Did we put that down under job history?"
Jayar: "Fix it then."
Susannah: "I can't fix it!"
Jayar: "Just put on your Bill Gates brain and make it happen."
Susannah: "I can't put on my Bill Gates brain, though; I have a Steve Jobs brain!"
Jayar: "I thought it was cool that she noticed the possible payment shock and mentioned it."
Susannah: "I didn't get that email."
Jayar: "Well, you're not special."
Susannah, motioning knife through heart repeatedly
Jayar: "Maybe you'll be special tomorrow. Who knows?"
Frank: "You're looking especially white today."