Uh, I'm on my third Diet Coke so this may be jumbly, as my thoughts are very scattered...
I woke up to an infommercial about a workout video this morning. I've really got to hit that sleep timer on the TV, lest I be chastized from the very get go.
My big sister called me while she was on the treadmill. She is down almost 40 lbs since the birth of her (DARLING) baby a few months ago. Kind of makes me want to kick her, but that would probably be pretty beneficial aerobically, so I'll refrain.
Today my little old lady client was barely 5 feet tall and she made some comment about having short arms as well, therefore being short all around. I replied something about being tall all around (while reaching for an item on a top shelf.) My little old lady client sweetly patted my hand and told me I am very lovely and am wonderfully proportionate.
Eek. Proportionate. I do not like that term as a description of me. Probably because it feels like I am forced to be grateful for something only because of its relation to something else. And forced gratefullness is never fun.
I have big feet. But they are proportionate to my height.
I have a huge chest. But it is proportionate to my hips.
I have big lips. But they are proportionate to my facial features.
I have wide shoulders. But they are proportionate to everything else.
I have a long torso. But it is proportionate to my long legs.
I'm plus sized. But I'm proportionate as I'm thick overall.
I have a big head. But thats just what my dad said once, so who is to believe him?
What does that even mean?
proper relation between things or parts;
symmetry, harmony, or balance
I understand the flipside, I really do. I understand why disproportionate could be considered a bad thing...but to what extent?
If I were to lose weight would I no longer be proportionate? I'd still have a huge chest, thats guaranteed. Would I thus be freakish, as I would lose my standing as proportionate?
Synonyms for disproportionate: inadequate; unbalanced; lopsided; too much. Eek.
I know that beauty is just the science of symmetry...I suppose I just have to thank my parents for my height, because thats apparently whats keeping me mostly in proportion.
Holy tangent, Batman!
I got an email from a website whose sole purpose is to remind me of my inadequacies. Oh, I mean, I got an email from a website reminding me my goal date was coming up. What goal was this? I pondered. Sleeping 6-8 hours a night? (hasn't happened) Reading churchy books? (hasn't happened) Having breakfast? (hasn't happened) Doing laundry frequently? (hasn't happened) Cleaning my...well, anything, really...? (hasn't happened)
No, apparently in April of 2007 I set a goal of losing 65 lbs by New Years Eve 2008. Hahahaha (has not happened.)
So I jumped on the website to see what the numbers were showing. Ah. In that time I've lost...three pounds. Hahaha, oops.
I have screwed my metabolism up so much. Too much, not enough, too much, not enough. Apparently man can not live on Cap'n Crunch alone.
I miss my treadmill. But I am very glad my sister is reaping such benefits from it. I was telling her about how I bought Turbo Jam DVDs oh...forever ago? and she asked how it is. I had to admit I'd only done less than 20 minutes of it and then fast forwarded through the rest, and haven't touched it since.
Remember how I have Winsor Pilates DVDs? I remember how I have Billy Blanks Book Camp DVDs? Remember how I have The Firm DVDs?
I genuinely enjoy doing them...I just have to kick my booty into actually doing them, and oh boy do I know how to bargain with myself. Rationalization and Procrastination, thats me.
So, uh, I'll be 25-years-old this coming summer. (That's weird enough in itself.) And because my senior class presidency chose not to have a 5-year reunion last year a few (or, uh, a hundred) of us are getting together in May. Ah, crap. That means I have less than six months to stop procrastinating.