Wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair; leggy blonde goodbye

My baby sister is getting squished by the pressure of the bubble. And I have to remind her that not everyone has to be married by the time they are 21. (Although I am registered at Target and Bed Bath & Beyond.)

She has ignored my advice of creating awkward quasifriendships with guys online, and has chosen to date instead. Weirdo.
I can hardly handle a relationship with myself, letalone another person, sheesh. So I'm starting a list for Mer entitled Why I Am Better Off Single:

1. Last night I slept across my bed, so I could see my TV better.
2. Because I was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.
3. While eating Corn Pops. For dinner.
4. I've created pathways so I can walk around my bedroom without stepping on things.
5. I hate people touching my stuff. Ever.
6. I can justify just about any purchase. Especially pajamas, workout clothes, and white boards.
7. I can't save money for more than a week. Ok, a day.
8. I clean out my hard drive more often than my bathtub.
9. I consider Triscuits and smoked gouda cheese a suitable meal.
10. A few months ago I chose a $50 curling iron over groceries.
11. I put pink and orange dots all over one wall in my bedroom. Just for fun. And one side of the wall has more dots than the other.
12. I fall asleep with the TV on every single night.
13. I change my hair color/length on a whim and refuse to listen to anyone else tell me how they want my hair to be.

So pretty much, I rock at being single.