Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"If you could put Susannah on a plate, this is what she would be." -Elizabeth

I never really thought there would be a time where I thought, "Could I please just talk about ANYTHING besides hair, nails, clothing, celebrities, and makeup?!"
Now is that time.
Between being a hairdresser and working in a womens clothing store my conversations rarely stray from the previously mentioned items.

I don't want to debate whether or not a striped shirt can be paired with an animal print camisole; I don't want to figure out which shade of blonde would fit your coloring; I don't care if you go with acrylic tips or shaped acrylic nails; I don't want to choose between liquid or pencil eyeliner; I don't care about Madonna's new single!

Please, someone, ask me my opinion of the presidential nomination hopefuls! (despise Hillary, dislike Obama, am so-so on Giuliani, love Romney)
I need something else to think about! I need something thought provoking and interesting! I need something that doesn't have to do with cosmetology or clothes.

And yet I'm constantly in an environment where other subjects are rarely touched upon. Oh well.

Susannah: "I am sick and I feel like my head is in a...well, a proverbial vice. I don't know what being in a real one would feel like."
Meridith: "A proverbial what?"
Susannah: "A vice. You know, a clamp. A hand on either temple, trying to pop my head like a large zit."
Meridith: "A vice? You are too smart for your own good."
Susannah: "I daily find myself saying, 'sorry, my brain isn't turned on.'"
Meridith: "Hahaha."
Susannah: "Really, every single day. So I decided...maybe I just think I am smarter than I am. Ya know? Like how I think I am thinner than I am and bought a sucker-inner in a size too small the other day and spent the entire day not being able to breathe, and couldn't actually sit down until I accidentally ripped a hole in it? And was more relieved to be able to sit down than I was upset about ripping a $30 pair of pantyhose."
Meridith: "They were $30?!"
Susannah: "Ok, $24 before my discount, and they're aren't pantyhose, they are a supportive undergarment...and you are missing my point!!!"
Meridith: "What was your point?"
Susannah: "I think I am smarter than I am, like I thought I was thinner than I am. Besides, they had one of those stupid size charts that have like a little Rubik's Cube design and are like, 'If you are 5'4" and 130 lbs you are a B; if you are 5'5" and 130 lbs you are a D' and I just hate those things. One inch and you are a different letter; what if I was all muscle, how could you tell my letter?!"
Meridith: "A Rubik's Cube?"
Susannah: "Yeah."
Meridith: "I don't think you know what you are talking about."
Susannah: "Yes I do! I know what a freaking Rubik's cube is! It's the little ball with the colors."
Meridith: "Ball?"
Susannah: "Not know, the square ball...thing."
Meridith: "The square ball? Hahaha."
Susannah: "Hush up! I'm sick and loopy."

Yesterday I was bored so I gave my little (4'11"!) stylist friend, Nadia, a pedicure. I'm getting pretty good at them, and tomorrow I am going to give one to Deborah and Elizabeth. (What was that, Meridith? Wishing you were here?) It was nice to do something for Nadia, as she is the one always fixing my crazy multicolored hair for me. Later Nadia and I went to get our eyebrows waxed by an funny Russian esthetician. She altered the shape of my eyebrows, giving me a bit less round arch and a more structured line. I told her I had one zit I could feel coming in and asked if she would zap it for me; she sweetly obliged. As she came at me with her high frequency alternating current wand ("the zapper") my face tingled. When it began to hurt she said, "There we go, there's the smoke." Hahaha, my skin smoking is a good thing, apparently. She then perused the rest of my skin, zapping where she saw fit. Lemme tell ya, it can be quite a depressing experience having someone examine every inch of your face like that, deciding where they feel you are imperfect. ZAP!

Today I slept in (so lovely) until about 9:30, then I turned on Back To The Future and sat in bed watching it. After the movie I finally got up and dressed. I called Elizabeth around Noon and found out that Deborah, Hryum, and Ezra had just gotten to her house :) So I quickly headed over there.
Ezra is SO CUTE, as Luke will tell you often. He says, "I give Ezra a kiss on his head because he is SO CUTE!" Lukie and HyGuy are looking so old compared to little E.

Tonight I cut Deborah's hair from about my length (above shoulder blades) to the Meg Ryan shag. I was very nervous because she has had traumatic short haircuts in the past, and I did not want to be the cause of any tears.
(Nerdy technical stuff: I did her initial form at 0 degrees, beginning the length at the bottom of her neck. In the nape I began layering at a 45 degree, but soon altered it to a 90 degree angle, point cutting. I wasn't sure how I'd go about the interior angle-wise, so I just razored off the length. I then went in at a 180 and shortened it up. I eventually chunked bits up with a 90 degree angle, razored. I also razored in some thick side-swept bangs.)

Then I cut Elizabeth's hair. Jayar had warned me to not cut Liz's hair short, hahaha. So I just gave her some layers to add volume and messed with her bangs a bit.
(Nerdy technical stuff: I brought everything up in a 180 and razored in layers, beginning about chin length. Then I parted her bangs a bit thicker than she previously had them and razored them into the haircut, blending the two forms. I brought the bangs up and out at a 45 and razored them, to reduce the bluntness of the block of hair.)

Basically I gave Elizabeth a shorter version of my own haircut, hahaha.

My guide to cutting Deborah's hair

(the subject line refers to the afternoon when Elizabeth decided to make me some dinner: hash browns with butter, cheese, onion, and sour cream. She called it Susannah in food form.)


Meridith said...

I never said that you were too smart for your own good. I said that I couldn't believe that you were comparing your head to a proverbial vice. haha But I will forgive you considering you said that you would not remember ANY of our conversation--I applaud you for remembering so much. :)

Susannah said...

Are you suuuuuuuurrrree? 'Cause I thought for sure I had gotten that conversation right! ...yeah, I was so dang out of it, I can hardly believe I even drove home correctly.

I'm a whacko some times.