Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"Foosball : a combination of soccer and shishkabobs"

I have been fighting back tears for about a half hour. Doing a horrible job at it, actually, and red-rimmed eyes give me away.

I was just not built to work in a high-stress environment.

I think I am just tired. Too exhausted to deal with this all. I didn't get to the gym this morning, and I really wanted to. I woke up with my alarm but my brain couldn't overpower my exhausted body. I'm wearing ugly pants. The are the The Unflattering Slacks in khaki (the original T.U.S. are in black) I have now dubbed them The Most Unflattering Slacks. I ordered the wrong kind of 2-hole fasteners. They'll work, but they aren't the kind I intended on ordering. Jayar snapped at me. The receptionist called and said the UPS Man was here to pick something up from us. I went to the main office to see what the heck he was talking about. When I came back in Jayar asked what he had meant, I said the UPS Man was just smoking something. Jayar asked what the UPS Man had thought he needed. I said I didn't know. A few minutes later he snapped "What did he SAY he meant?!" I told him that when I walked in they told me "nevermind."

Thats when the tears started.

I feel like the project I am working on is pointless. It isn't, but I feel like it is. Maybe I am taking too long to do something that should be finished in a mere couple of hours. Maybe I should just print labels rather than handwriting addresses on every envelope. That would be the more logical and time management thing to do. Alas, I am torn. I prefer to handwrite them because who even opens a letter when the return address is a mortgage company and your name is just printed on there? How unpersonal. I think it would yield a higher return by handwriting them...but maybe that's just because I enjoy doing it. I wrote the coolest looking cursive z this morning and I've perfected my cursive capital V.

I think in a perfect world I would work from home. I enjoy being productive, I love seeing results. I just dislike the pressure of working in an office with people. If I screw up everyone knows it.
If I start crying everyone knows it.

3 comments:

Those crazy geese said...

I totally feel your pain. I have mini- anxiety attakcs every day about little things I mess up. I alternate between anger at myself for being so flighty and dim-witted, and then just plain resignation becasue I simply don't care.

Those crazy geese said...

pluss I can't type, which screws up my world immensely

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your supervisor has set a high pressure tone in the company. 2 people melting down in 2 days ponits to bad managemnet.

madmax