"Hau ab, du Idiot."

I'm opinionated, sure. But I don't usually hop up on the soapbox this frequently. Nonetheless, this has to be said:
If you are invited to someone's house DON'T BE AN IDIOT.

As I've said before, I love to host parties. But I hate it when people are complete dorks!
I am chancing offending some of my friends by doing this, but if you come to my house and are a jerk, you gave up your right to not be talked about online. So there. (so there? what am i, five?)


I keep all of my decorations for various holidays so I can reuse them. In my party kitchen (aka the kitchen in the basement) there is an island. In one of the drawers of the island is some of my Halloween decor, including 30 small plastic spiders.

In about March my ward members came to my house for a Movie Night, including pizza & soda in the party kitchen. Throughout the evening I found plastic spiders in random places on the ground (under the pool table in the other room, near the phone, near the BigScreen in a different room, near the island, etc) How in the heck did they get out of the back of that drawer? Who in the heck was scrounging through my drawers enough to scatter my Halloween decorations throughout the basement? WHO THE HECK THOUGHT THEY HAD PERMISSION TO DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!??

Also during Movie Night- I walked into the party kitchen and cupboards were ajar! What? And there were glasses by the sink. There are plastic cups near the food! What? Are they delegated? No water in the plastic ones? You must, instead, scoure the cupboards and get a glass from the highest one?!??

Halloween 2002- I had spent two months compiling a CD of sound effects. I set up the huge speakers in a corner of the room with a white sheet carefully placed over it, all decorative-like. In the middle of the party two of Meridith’s friends (Evan and Danny) walked up to it, threw back the sheet, stopped my CD, and put in their disco CD! WHAT?!?? I walked up to them as they were doing this and said, “What the heck do you think you’re doing?” They said, “We’re putting on some good stuff.” I took their CD out and started to hand it to the DorkHeads. DHnumber1 (Evan) didn’t reach for it fast enough and it came off of my finger. He said, “Hey! Don’t throw my stuff!” I yelled, “Don’t touch my stuff!” He said to the other, “This party sucks, lets leave!” And they left. Much to Meridith’s chagrin.

New Years Eve 2002- I had a silver platter covered in shrimp with lemon slices and fresh parsley with a small bowl of coctail sauce in the center. A friend-of-a-friend (who wasn’t invited nor welcome) picked up the bowl and poured the coctail sauce out of it onto his shrimp, putting his thumb in the sauce in the process! What the flip?!???

Same New Years Eve- I didn’t want people going into the hall that leads to the bedrooms, and I also needed somewhere to put the chairs, so I spent an hour shoving the chairs into this hallway, blocking it off. I’m not talking teeny chairs, I’m talking about huge fluffy chairs with ottomans.
Less than half-way through the party there were 7 people sitting on the chairs and one person playing in the closet (which sparked some dumb jokes). WHAT?!??? What about chairs facing backward shoved in a dark hallway says “Susannah would REALLY like you to please jump and play on these, you eighteen-year-olds”???

Birthday (July) 2002- I had a get-together outside on the SportCourt. It had been successful the year before so I thought it was fool-proof. How mistaken I was.
Two guys, after I adamantly said “No” about fifty times snuck into the garage and found the basketballs. They then continued to play basketball AROUND MY GUESTS! Are you completely without decorum? Are you just plain stupid? Oh wait...you are boys.
Then one of the idiot friends-of-a-friend stuck his 2 empty plastic cups in the holes of the net fence of the SportCourt. Huh? I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he would remove them soon. Nope. Almost a half hour later they were still there so I walked by and popped them out, picked them up, and threw them away. He said, “Hey! Those are mine!” I said, very mockingly, “Hey! It’s my house!” He glared and continued to play basketball around people.

There were people in random spots in the yard - like behind the house, when the entire party is in the front and SportCourt. Don’t venture to the back deck. You will be blacklisted.

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Am I just a perfectionist? Is it wrong of me to be bothered by this behavior? Should I learn to deal with it, or should everyone learn how to behave at others homes?

They have absolutely no couth! Would the casual-ness of the party change things? Like, if I had a dinner would people still act like complete idiots?

I’ve pondered sending lists of appropriate behavior along with my invitations. Hahahaha!!!