Rantin' and a Ravin'

I am thoroughly and completely bugged right now, so I am venting:
(Mom: "Your dad says I was being critical; I thought I was just being demanding."
Me: "HA! D) All of the above")

What's up with that?! aka: Things annoying me right now
I land on my kneecap and smash it and all my mother says is "The wonderful thing about our bodies is they heal themselves" and there is no reason for me to see a doctor because "there is nothing he can do for it; just poke around. It will just have to heal."
YET...
Grandma's knee is "bothering her" and my mother is suddenly all supportive of GMa's getting a knee scope. Do you think she ever once said, "You know, Mom, there's no point; just let it heal"? I highly doubt it.

My Dearest Right Kneecap,
I will have to terminate our friendship soon if you do not start allowing me to kneel without searing pain.
All my love,
Susannah

Stressors:
* Being alone in a room with my mother for fear she will decide the windows are dirty and, being the least favored child, it is up to me to hand wash each window in the house. (Hasn't happened but I wouldn't put it past her.)


* My father feels my hanging out with Honeyman so much is taking me away from a real relationship with someone. I am a nerdy 5'10" shy fat white 20-year-old girl in Utah County, Utah... What relationship could I be avoiding by hanging out with my best male friend?


* The blasted need to be perfect for everyone around me. I must be jolly, chipper, helpful, and perfect at every moment. Guess what? I am a moody messy procrastinating shopaholic who can't save a dime and who isn't going to college.
I'm not Meridith... that is something we just all have to learn to deal with.


* The dang need to look presentable at every moment of my life. Sure, I'm an InStyle, Lucky., Vogue, and Harpers Bazaar subscriber, but I can go without doing my hair for a few hours. I can faux pas it up the wazoo.
-If I'm leaving the house and I'm not wearing lipstick don't "offer" me yours. I'm well aware I look washed out, but for those few minutes I DON'T CARE.
-Breaking away from my skirt&top routine to wear flare jeans and an "I (heart) Nerds" shirt is NOT a bad thing. I don't care if you feel it "just isn't" me!!!
-Any V-neck shirt on me will become cleavage-revealing, you're going to just have to DEAL WITH IT!
-If I am wearing a blue TShirt, a flared white linen skirt, brown stretch pants, and pink flipflops to go on an 11 PM walk around the neighborhood with you DO NOT MOCK IT (Ryan!)
I know better, sure, but it doesn't have to be a 24/7 thing.

[Me switching high heels for pink fuzzy slippers to go to the grocery store with Honeyman:]

Me: Would you be embarrassed to be seen with me like this?
Ryan: Why are you wearing those?
Me: The heels hurt. These are so much more comfortable.
Ryan: ...said the fat lady in the sweat pants.
Me: Point well taken.

I'm a freaking Social Phobic; I need your acceptance, not your mocking! I have enough random stress in my life, I don't need you picking on me for little things!

[Today- Me having changed from a tight pink top to a black track jacket; while playing pool at home with no plans to leave the house:]

Honeyman: Why did you change?
Susannah: It feels better. It's much more comfortable.
Honeyman: Comfortable, maybe. Though the other one looked better on you. Much better.
Susannah: I know. I don't care.
Honeyman: ...Much better...
Susannah: [glare] Who am I trying to impress? You? HA!
Honeyman: I try to impress you.
Susannah: It doesn't work.


Blah. I'm going to blast some Duncan Sheik, maybe that will help.