You're just a lot

This is how I feel: Angry.

37 years of struggling to function at a socially acceptable level of normality, despite really wanting to and trying to, and suddenly finding out that the majority of people don’t have these same brain processes is hard.

Really hard.

“Bye, Susannah, have fun. Remember: don’t speak just to hear your own voice.”

“I realized why he reminds me of you—you both think everything has to be about you.”

“I’d love to be trained in that role! It sounds fascinating.”

“No, we need someone who will actually do the work.”

“Wow, you actually cleaned something up. You can see the floor of your bedroom; was the internet down all day or something?”

“Can you just forget that you were an auctioneer in a previous life?”

“Susannah, I need to see you in my office. You got one of the highest scores, whose test did you copy off of?”

“You’re just…a lot.”

“Sue is fun, but that’s about it.”

“Susannah, while you are there don't dominate the conversation! If you say something, make sure it is of importance, and don't just ramble to make noise!"

“Would you be offended if I sent your name to that show Hoarders? Ba ha ha ha”

“She would be fun to date because it would be fun, but she’s not someone you’d want to be in a relationship with.

“You’ve got a great employee there. Great potential.”

“Yeah…if only we could figure out how to pull it out of her.”

………………..

All real things said to me or about me. All completely misunderstanding my intentions or efforts or abilities.

So yeah, I’m angry. Angry it took so long to understand why everything is so hard. Angry there is still very little understanding and a lot of negative stigma from the general public. Angry I’ve had to work so hard and develop other skills to make up for my inabilities.

I am always *so* hesitant to post about ADHD on social media, but every time I get so many sweet messages thanking me and telling me that it has helped how a friend understands their spouse or child or parent, and encouraging me to continue, so here I am. (Those messages are the best thing ever.)