Sunday, July 22, 2012

The 28th year

My twenty-ninth year of life begins this week. Isn't that crazy? I would like to review my twenty-eighth year through my memory, tweets and pictures.

 July 2011 --

Celebrated my birthday by going to the BYU Paleontology Museum and BYU Creamery with my mom, Caroline, Emma Kate and Luke.
Later that night I went to Olive Garden with Celeste, Sarah, Danny, Brittany, Aaron, Kevin, Jason and Rachel.
Tweets from July
Watching other people play Super Mario Bros. is a test in patience.

Mushrooms are a gateway drug to stronger fire power.

August 2011 --

Had lost about 35 lbs from my very highest weight, so that was pretty cool.
Attended two of Chris' bike races, got over 30 mosquito bites.
Babysat The 'Quats a few times. (I am Elizabeth's favorite auntie, or so she tells people.)
Went to Lagoon with my singles ward.

Tweets from August
Sus: "We're gonna watch this while we bake. Mom, this'll be a sing-along, ready?" Mom: "Ok, I'm prepared." THIS IS HUGE! SHE RARELY HUMORS ME!
Googled the man my mom wants to set me up with. Um, yeah, he is 44. He started college before I started kindergarten.
"It's obvious you are confident and really know your way around a man's head." Why thank you, sir. #thiscomplimentiscreepyoutofcontext
When wearing a grey leopard print top with an asymmetrical neckline and low chignon there is only one appropriate lipstick color: hooker red.
If I got a dog I'd name him Alpha Centauri C. I'd call him Alf.
Dreamt I was in school taking a test on Firefly when lightning started a fire, but Sloth (in his Superman shirt) saved us. Oh, my brain. :/

September 2011 --

Dropped my iPad on the tile floor, shattered the corner of the screen. The next day a crack appeared across the screen. :(
Went to the Weird Al Yankovic concert with my brother, Richard, and my nephew, Brayden. My camera died when Weird Al was about five feet away from me, sitting on the lap of a woman in the row behind me.
Went to the Hanson concert with Ryan, ran into my friend Reba there. Met Hanson outside afterward. I love them.
Cut Jimmer Fredette's hair before the Wooden Award ceremony, which meant it was the first time my work had been shown on ESPN.
I got the genius idea that Chris should be Megamind for Halloween.
On the 24th, my manager Jamie's husband's heart went into arrhythmia, he passed out at BYU and it took the responders 40 minutes to resuscitate him. He was in critical condition in the ICU in an induced coma.
Tweets from September
At lunch with some of my sisters, playing If You Had To Have One Eating Disorder Which Would You Choose?
Sometimes guiding a thin piece of metal through the teeny permanent hole in the flesh of my earlob is a strange, strange experience.
Manager: "Fax her for me." Sus: "Ok, I'll jump in my time machine and go to 1996 and fax her. Or, ya know, maybe I'll just text her."
Occasionally I realize I am a 5'10" hourglass figure with 40" legs but have less than 3 years left in my 20s. #theregoesmymodelingcareer
Ma'am, if you don't stop touching you hair and tucking it behind your ear I will cut off your fingers and only regret it because of the mess.

 October 2011 --

Went to St George for the weekend. Watched General Conference with my parents, Elizabeth's family and Deborah's family.
Worked a lot on Chris's Megamind Halloween costume. Hand-stitched the collar while watching a movie at 2 a.m.
Jamie's husband died on October 5th (same day as Steve Jobs)
Went to dinner with friends, bill totaled over $60. Someone in the restaurant paid our bill; we suspect the old man across the aisle.
Got sick. Woke up with no voice and a cold. For a few days I had a high fever off and on, which resulted in some awesome fever dreams. It became bronchitis, as it usually does. Yay for wimpy lungs!
My sweet little nephew, CJ, was born!
Dressed as a polygamist sister wife for Halloween, but very few people understood it because my sister wife and husband backed out on me. Boo.
Hosted a sing-along movie night, watching The Music Man.
After about...oh I don't know...40 hours? of work, I finished Chris's Megamind costume. It was so fantastic looking. So fantastic. (He won Best Overall Costume at the Orem Institute dance.)

Tweets from October
Accidentally woke up my 11yo niece. Told her "Go back to sleep, Emma Kate. Santa can't come until you're asleep." then laughed for 3 minutes.
Today a regular client said, "If I weren't'd be an awesome girlfriend."
A man called the salon this morning to tell my manager what how great I am. This should happen more often.
Asked my mom to look at my swollen tonsils. "Susie, you're uvula is huge!" Excuse me? You mean "proportionate"
I knew I had a fever when I woke up worried whether or not books are printed upside-down.
Dreamt I wrote a cease and desist to a dating site for using my picture and the love letters Hitler wrote me on their adverts. #feverdream
I shushed my father during the World Series and got this in response: "Would you hush, you little motor mouth." What the??
My tongue is sore from coughing so hard. It's a muscle, so that totally counts as exercise, right? Checkmark for today!
Got to work and had to turn around because I forgot a shirt...although maybe I would've gotten better tips in the semitransparent tank.

November 2011 --

Jumped on a plane headed for Rome.
Toured Vatican City
Got on our cruise ship
Explored Southern Turkey
Explored Southern Cyprus
Explored Israel, including Nazareth, where I tripped on the sidewalk and fell on my face, smashing my camera in the process. Went on a fishing boat replica on the Sea of Galilee, saw the River Jordan.
Drove to Jerusalem. Went to Gethsemane, the Garden Tomb, the BYU Jerusalem Center, the Western Wall and many more places.
Had shawarma, which was tasty. (I couldn't remember what it was called until it was talked about in the final scenes of The Avengers.)
Bought a new camera for $300 on the ship.
Explored Cairo, Egypt. Went to the national museum and saw King Tut's awesome jewelry collection. Rode a camel in front of the Great Pyramids of Giza. Took pictures in front of the Sphinx. Had lunch at TGIFriday's on the Nile River.
Explored Alexandria. Went to an Italian restaurant, haha. Let an Egyptian guy hug me for a scarab pendant. He kissed my neck, which is totally worth much more than a pendant.
Explored Rome, including walking into the middle of a protest with a lot of police involvement. Oops.
Explored Florence, fell in love with the city. Saw the David.
Explored Venice. Had a french fry pizza, which was actually good. Mmmm.
Explored Rome again.
Went on a bus tour to Naples and Pompeii; saw Mount Vesuvius (cool story, Hansel!)

to be continued tomorrow...

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