Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fun starts here!

Tomorrow my little sister and my home singles ward are going to Lagoon. I wanna go!

Meridith is excited to go on The Samurai. Let me tell you one thing about that ride: I hate it. A lot. And somehow I get coerced into going on that stupid thing every freaking time!

It spins and you spin...but not really. I think I could handle it if I was just in continual spinning motion, but it doesn't do that! It just turns however it dang well pleases! Gravity or mechanics, I don't care; I hate it. One second I am leaning back only to be suddenly thrust facedown while going backward and getting THISCLOSE to the tree line, I swear. Ugh! I have cried Get-Me-Off-This-Stupid-Thing tears mid-ride.

This is what happened last time I went on The Samurai:
July 2005:
Ok, so I'm at the Samurai with Sarah. We discuss that the Orange-dotted headrests denote a seat for chunkies. ("A larger seat for more space in front of you"-the sign...oh how I'm amused by political correctness.) As we walk around the ride we notice there are no 2 seats next to eachother. The ride attendant says to me, "I have one right here for you." and points to the nearest orange-dotted seat. Sarah ends up in the row ahead of me, the only other open seat. After I climb over the crotch pole (anyone else feel they need a running start to get over that thing?) and pull the big padded harness over me, the attendant comes by and checks to make sure everyone is secure. As he walks by me he tugs on my harness and says, all sympathetic-like, "Is that gonna be OK for you?" Ah, special attention. How I love that. (Gag) Yes sir, although the close proximity of the harness to my body has caused me to have cleavage up to my chin, I am fine. In fact, I still have quite a bit of space, care to join me?

Other ride I hate: That stupid Wild Mouse one. I am absolutely convinced I am going to fly off the edges.

However: I loooove the White Roller Coaster. Old and rickety, yes. But definitely fun.
Other things I love: The Screamer. Maybe its that whole Get-Your-Own-Pod thing that attracts me to it. I dunno, but I have to ride it at least...oh, seven times.
Tidal Wave. I like to sit in the last row and hoot and holler and be really annoying. So, uh, I'm very myself on that one.
Remember that time Meridith and I got stuck on the Colossus? Yeah...the car stopped at the very tip top of the first drop. Fuh-rea-ky. We sat there for several minutes when suddenly we plummeted down into the first loop. The car stopped again at the very end, at the last turn before the turn back into the little station. We sat there for about ten minutes while Lagoon employees fashioned a ladder to the side of our car and helped each person off the ride. Hahaha.
I have to go on the Musik Express everytime, as it is definitely one of my favorites and in between the Colossus and the Screamer. I somehow always end up on the outside, which is the worst position to get stuck in! (Did they change the name? I swear it used to be the Musical Express...huh.)

There seem to be a few new rides that were installed after my last visit (which was about three years ago.) I am definitely due back.

Oh yeah...have fun, Meridith!


Meridith said...


Funny that I HATE the rides that go in circles the whole time. Blech. I feel like I'm going to die.

Collosus experience was tender.

I agree about the Wild Mouse being dumb.

I'll tell you all about it. ;)

Anonymous said...

Atta girl Sue. I am with you on the side lines, in the head lines, in any line except that leading the Samurai. Dad

AdamOndi said...

I have similar experiences with the rides that have harnesses. This past weekend, Lisapants and I visited Silverwood theme park outside of Coeur d'Alene, ID, and they have a new ride called "Aftershock" that has crotch poles and harnesses. They have a sign that says "This ride may not accommodate persons of extraordinary size." All very PC, of course, but it essentially says to me, "Hey, fatty, you might not fit on this thing. Stop being so extraordinarily obese and maybe you could have some fun next time." I did fit, but just barely.

I also got special attention from the attendant that checked my harness buckle twice, as though he couldn't believe that I actually got it to lock.

lisapants said...

It said "exceptional size", not "extraordinary size", which I think is even funnier. I like how they call it exceptional, like it a good thing or something.

Susannah said...

Exceptional size, haha, I love it. I may have to use that rather thn my current "ballpark figure" joke.