Now your bangs are curled, your lashes twirled, but still the world is cruel/wipe off that angel face and go back to high school

For years I've debated whether or not this was too personal to comment on, but it has come up in several conversations recently and I was surprised at my openness about it. So that kind of made my decision for me.

Even on blah days there are things I like about me. I really enjoy my height, although I would love to be an inch or two taller. I enjoy my sense of humor; I make me laugh all day long. I love my intellect; I may not be a total brainiac, but I can follow along pretty well. But I hate my legs.

My legs are long (hip to floor is around 40"), curvy, muscular, and strong. I like all that. I don't even mind that I have the spitting image of my Daddy's legs (muscular, manly) rather than my Momma's legs (lean, feminine.) it is just the shape of them that drives me batty.

My calves do not touch. At all. When standing normally my ankles are 7+ inches apart. (I'm having fun with the measuring tape today.) It is called genu valgum (or knock-knees, but my legs aren't turned inward, as is the case with many knock-kneed people) and is more common in overweight females, but a glance through my scrapbook confirms that I have been this way all my life.
I noticed it when I was about 9-years-old, I think. I really don't remember how I figured it out, or why I was even paying attention to it. When I was in my early teens I showed it to my mother and she said she'd never noticed.




Because of this I do not walk like a normal person. My feet are turned slightly outward...like a V, but with a 7 inch spread...so if I do not pay attention to what I'm doing I look very Caveman. Rather than flexing my calves like a normal person, I use my glutes and thighs. (Experiment time: Stand up, put your hand on your behind, turn your feet out a bit, walk around. You'll probably be using your glutes, too.)

I wear flared jeans rather than bootcut because the flare fills in the gap. Oh yes, it flares inward. I don't wear skirts that skim my knee, they all hit just below. Unless I stand still and point it out, its not completely obvious...or so I'm told.

When I stand I usually cross one foot slightly in front of the other, hopefully creating the illusion of normal legs. I get accused of "posing" often. Also, it takes a lot of concentration to turn my feet in, and to do so I usually end up slightly crossing my feet as I walk. Therefore I am accused of doing a runway strut down the sidewalk. Lovely. I'm some poser because I'm trying to look more feminine than Cro-Magnon.








In the past few weeks I've been asked several times if I would consider modeling. The goofy attention whore in me screams yes. But then my rational side takes over and screams louder: AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME?!


Do I have a point? Not really. It has just been on my mind.