Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Ugh.

I have a coffee table and two matching end tables. They have glass inserts as the actual tabletop.

When I got them they were an ugly brown wood grain color. In May of 2006 I decided to paint them black. I started with one of the end tables and it looked a lot better black so I continued with the coffee table. I ran out of paint, so it was black all over and went to brown on the legs.

I left it outside to dry. When it started raining I brought it right inside the door to finish drying (well, I think I made Tashina do it; she was visiting.) I was gone sightseeing with Tashina all the next day and came home to find the table moved, the glass inserted, and magazines covering it. Ok, annoying, but whatever. I told my roommate I was just letting it dry and that I just needed to buy more paint for the rest of it, but since she'd set it up, I'd just leave it like that.

Ok, TWO YEARS LATER...

Susannah: Ok, so this morning I walk out of my room, and if I don't hurry I'm about to be late for work, so I'm rushing out of the house. SHE IS OUTSIDE SPRAY PAINTING MY TABLE!
Tashina: oh geez
Susannah: Am I being completely stubborn, or is that horrendously annoying?
Tashina: well, if it were me i would be "meh. whatever." but i would also be annoyed, because really, who asked her to do that?
Susannah: Seriously. I mean, its one thing if it were like a week after I told her I just needed to buy more paint, but YEARS LATER?!
Tashina: yeah really
Susannah: I've been debating between being horribly annoyed by it and being like meh, whatever. I really hate: A) My stuff being touched B) My projects being done by others C) My roommate
Susannah: So being annoyed is pretty much winning out.
Tashina: yeah
Susannah: So tonight when I got in the door I erased everything on my whiteboard on the fridge, and wrote: "Please talk to me before you do things like paint my furniture"
Tashina: good
Susannah: Because I'm a pissed off non confrontationalist. hahahaha
Tashina: hahahahaha


Ok, so I come home from work today to find my message erased and a piece of paper pinned up:

Honestly Suzaanah!

That table was already partially done! You told me you had run out of paint!!! I was only doing you a favor! It has been sitting undone for a long time! By the way-writing notes to communicate is ineffective-and it's really not very efficient. Please come talk to me next time.

Suzaanah? Eww, what is that?

I was annoyed. So I replied:
Are you freaking kidding me?
My table. My project. There is no favor in that.
It has been in that condition for over a year because it is not a high priority. Not because I wasn't going to finish.
---
Actually writing notes is MY most efficient way to communicate.

9 comments:

petullant said...

Hehe. You should have written, "Just be lucky that B!t@h slapping isn't my most effective way of communicating."

Um, I can't believe someone else would paint someone else's furniture. In my eyes, that's big. I would be really ticked off too.

Meridith said...

I can't believe you had a fight over whiteboard. You do realize that's not normal, right?

Susannah said...

Seriously, Llew! I was thinking of writing something like, "my scrapbook isn't done either, want to finish it? I have a list when you're done with that."

Meridith, sure that's normal! Haven't you ever read http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com ? ;)

Mom said...

Susannah, have you ever considered that Ruth is trying to be your friend. That is the way people show kindness to others, by doing something for them. Maybe you could think on that and do something for her that you know she would like - do her dishes, for example. Love, Mom

Susannah said...

My friend roster is full.

Not everyone is you, Mom. Not everyone gives/receives affection by actions. I am not one of those people, certainly. Doing someones dishes is so amazingly low on my to do list. I may give a gift or write a note, but certainly not doing dishes.

Once you know and accept the differences between our personalities, rather than seeing the differences and considering them flaws in me, you will begin to actually understand your daughter.

Anonymous said...

Honey, it's not about you. It's about how she perceives a friend. A friend to her is one who does kind deeds. So, to be a friend, (a kind roommate) is to do kind deeds for her. Yes, the dishes, if that needs to be done - look around to see where you can help. Love, Mom

Katie said...

So sorry to hear about your roommate problems. That can be the absolute worst thing in the WORLD.


I don't want to be rude or mean, but I'm going to offer some totally unasked for advice. Take it or leave it. You probably could get a lot more tension out if you just talk face to face instead of writing notes. Even if it explodes into a brawl, at least it would be out and not being pent up inside.


TRUST me, I've been through so many note fights with roommates I could scream. They just aren't that great.

Susannah said...

The only thing is that I *am* a writer, not a speaker. I get flustered and can't collect my thoughts. I say stupid things that I don't really mean. I don't mention things I actually mean.

I really do need to write things rather than talk to communicate it correctly.

I was on my high school debate team all three years and I wrote some awesome speeches, but I VERY RARELY gave them. And when I did they always came out weird and stuttered and noone ever understood my points.

Even when I was younger and my mom would get yell at me for something and send me to my room I would write her a letter, go downstairs, hand it to her, and go back up to my room.

Which is a huge part of why I joke I should take a keyboard with me on dates.

petullant said...

I will always support you in your whiteboard/written arguments/discussions even when everyone else thinks it's not normal because I'm the SAME WAY. If someone wants to hear what I think/feel in a clear rational way - me writing it down is your best bet. If that draws something out, at least it will be with me being expressed in a clear way. Everyone else can SUCK IT.

(Also, I should mention that this problem of mine has gotten better with time. LOTS better so there's hope but I'd still rather write it all first.)

Oh and I'm all about ACTION to when it comes for how I show I want to be friends or when it comes to my friends. I still would never permanently alter someone else's furniture. She may have had really good intentions. I don't know her. But, I think most normal people wouldn't do that. Doing someone's dishes is one thing. Doing something that can't be changed easily - is a little over the line when you know the other person doesn't even really like you.