The Umm counter tally

I'm sitting in a makeup class on mineral-based makeup. I love taking classes like this. They are complete "pimping out my products" sessions, held by creators or account representatives. Fun!
"The Cadillac of the mineral world", she says. They have the only FDA approved eyelash growth serum! How funky cool!
My favorite part of these classes is the demonstrations. Learning new tricks from a seasoned professional makeup artist. Woot!

This chick is kind of nutso. She is not very eloquent. She is kind of an awkward speaker. If I were the owner of the company I would not choose her as my rep for the entire state of Nevada. ...But that really may just be the high school debater in me. I quickly lose interest with a poor speaker, regardless of how interesting the subject material could be. Quit moving around! Stop saying "Umm"!
I have an "Umm" counter -- the current tally is 193, and I started about fifteen minutes in to her presentation.

Last night I got a facial. Facials and I have a love/hate relationship. I love them because Hello!, it's a facial, who doesn't love a facial? It's someone else massaging your skin while you lay in a bed in the dark. But I hate facials because of the whold semi-nudity factor. I have to wear a towel Velcroed about my upper half, and lay down in front of someone who will then rub serums all over me. And I have to give awkard apologies like "sorry about how my chest is so big that when I lay down I have cleavage to my chin--and you're now rubbing lotion on my décolletage."
My (a)esthetician was a middle-aged black lady, who thought it was pretty funny how ticklish my shoulders/upper arms are. They played a CD of acoustic Sting, which I loved. And I laughed pretty hard when it started skipping and my (a)esthetician called out "hush up!"

She did an algae mask on me that had four levels. One level felt like thick hair gel being spread all over my face. It was really cold. The top level was a greyish thick cream that she quickly spread over everything else. It suddenly got very hot and I realized it had hardend and I couldn't move--it was like a concrete mask stuck to my face.

HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT?!