"Here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life." - Barney, HIMYM

Tonight I read a well-written essay by Doug Wright in an old Allure magazine about the day the author looked inside his mother's purse. The contents, though simple, told a story about this woman: A pocket-sized copy of the New Testament, a tiny paper umbrella from a drink ("My mother is moonlighting as someone's spouse!"), a single tube of fire-engine red lipstick, a Canadian quarter.

I loved this paragraph:

With a five-dollar bill crumpled in my fist, I head to the foyer of our house. I pause for a moment when I see her, lit by the scorching sun, leaning gently against the door frame. She looks different somehow, more vulnerable. She no longer knows all the Secrets of the Universe; she is at their mercy, just like me. In short, she's no longer merely my mother. Instead she has assumed the complexity of a human being, and I've taken a crucial first step in growing up.

Gorgeous.

I also loved this line:

For me, a woman's purse will always be her truest portrait, a three-dimensional diary. Slung over her shoulder or clutched in her hand, it's a miniature museum, and she is its curator.

It goes on to say "Ask any lady friend to divulge the contents of her pocketbook, and chances are--amid the dental floss and the Burts Bees lip balm--there will be at least one singular item, particular to her, that reveals some primary aspect of her nature." It then talk about some silly things that are carried by friends of the author.

---

So I went through the contents of my current purse, wondering what they may say about me:

first pocket
* My Visa card.
* My sister's MasterCard. A savior on many occasions.
* My Lane Bryant credit card.
* My clock-in card for the salon.

* Business card for someone at my insurance company.
* Business card for my old gym, with an email address for the owner written on the back.
* Business card for my Mary Kay distributor.

* Receipt for the Coca-Cola store on the strip. I was with Ryan. I bought a Diet Coke with a sugar-free chocolate flavor shot.
* Receipt for Pick-Up Stix. I was with Adam and Justina. It was 25 cent Cream Cheese Wonton Wednesday.
* Receipt for Outback Steakhouse. I was with Mel and Justina. I got a child size's grilled chicken breast and a sweet potato. I got mocked horribly for it.

second pocket
* My cell phone.
* My iPod nano, named RuPaul.
* My Palm Pilot.
* My digital camera.

third pocket
* 11 loose bobbypins.
* A disposable razor.
* Two small packets of pain killers.
* Four pennies.
* A bottle of base-coat nail polish.
* A bottle of color-change nail polish. My mother gave it to me after her cruise through the Mexican Riviera.
* A bottle of top-coat nail polish.
* A plastic glove. Leftover from a haircolor I did on a client.
* A pair of false eyelashes.
* An empty box that once held lash adhesive.
* A small sandwich bag holding a handful of Skittles.
* A #2 guard for my hair clippers.

fourth pocket
* A fortune cookie fortune: "You will have no problems in your home"
* A hair claw.
* A stick of deodorant.
* A bag holding: a small hair claw, seven hair clips, six bobby pins, black liquid eyeliner, black creme eyeliner, brown stick eyeliner, mauve eyeshadow, blue eyeshadow, brown eyeshadow, green eyeshadow, silver eyeshadow, green corrector concealer, one bottle of Loreal True Match foundation in N2-Classic Ivory, concealer brush, eyeshadow brush, lipliner brush, one tube of CoverGirl Lash Exact mascara in Very Black, one tube in Brown, one pot of Maybeline Dream Mousse Blush in 50-Cloud Wine, and one bottle of Celine Dion Notes perfume.

fifth pocket
* A comb. I brought it with me to Adam's house the other night, so I could keep Crazy Aunt Gladys's hair HUGE.
* A tube of Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lipgloss in Crantastic.
* A tube of " " lipgloss in a purpleish color, that smells like carmel popcorn.
* A black hair elastic.
* A nail file.
* A small bottle of lotion. I took it from the hotel my parents stayed in a few months ago.
* Arrested Development season one on DVD. I had left it at Elizabeth's house on accident.



So who knows what in the heck that means. Except that I am far more organized than ANYONE thought I'd be, right? Ha!