"No commento"

I save most of my IMs. Especially ones with my sisters or best friend Sarah. When I get bored I read over them and soon I have tears streaming down my face from laughter.

Sarah C. says: It seems to me that eating chips is directly comparable with drinking a fine wine. It's the first few sips that are fantastic, and then all the flavor is just mixed around in your mouth and you can't taste all the deliciousness of it any longer!
Susannah says: Agreed.
Susannah says: That is why I lick the seasoning off the Pringles and put them back in the can for someone else to enjoy minus the flavor.
Susannah says: ...wait...no I don't. But that's a good idea.
Sarah C. says: ha ha
Sarah C. says: that would be disgusting!
Sarah C. says: Soggy pringles...ha ha
Susannah says: but highly comical.
Sarah C. says: Entirely
Sarah C. says: You will be proud to hear that I am, indeed, eating a sandwhich on whole multi-grain bread. No fake stuff.
Sarah C. says: I feel my organs being cleansed as we speak
Susannah says: Sweet. Did you have your steel cut oatmeal for breakfast, mixed with blueberries? And will you be having your grilled chicken breast with steamed broccoli for dinner? And your seventeen gallons of water?
Susannah says: Because I can really only be good one meal a day.
Sarah C. says: ha ha ha
Sarah C. says: Steel cut oatmeal?
Sarah C. says: What on earth is that
Susannah says: Its what Oprah has for breakfast.
Susannah says: It is somehow better for you than traditional smashed and rolled oatmeal
Susannah says: if I wasnt so lazy and cared more about it I would look up info on it for you. Alas.
Sarah C. says: HELLO!
Sarah C. says: Look it up goose!
Susannah says: http://www.healthrecipes.com/oats.htm
Sarah C. says: While you're at it, could you look up how igloos work? I have been wondering about that ALL day
Susannah says: HAHAHA!
Susannah says: Would you like to build one yourself?
Susannah says: http://landscaping.about.com/cs/winterlandscaping1/a/building_igloos.htm
Susannah says: http://pbskids.org/nova/denali/igloo.html
Sarah C. says: Yes, I would like to build one myself actually
Susannah says: http://howthingswork.virginia.edu/page1.php?QNum=730
Susannah says: there is a good answer regarding igloos
Sarah C. says: Fantastic
Sarah C. says: Now I can stop obessing about it.
Susannah says: Glad to be of service.
Sarah C. says: I kept raising my hand in all my classes and saying, "Yes, but seriously? HOW DO IGLOOS WORK?!" and then my professors would like me and make me leave the classroom.
Sarah C. says: look at me, not like me
Susannah says: I bet they secretly liked you as well.
Sarah C. says: Of course. Anyone who spends all their free time thinking about the logistics of building and maintaining an igloo is worth liking
Sarah C. says: Even if it is secretly.
Susannah says: I have to agree wholeheartedly.
Sarah C. says: I am laughing so hard right now
Sarah C. says: I kill myself. KILL MYSELF
Susannah says: So, Julie just showed me the most glorious bits of stalkerdom I could ever ask for.
Sarah C. says: What?
Susannah says: Hello, County Assessor's website!
Sarah C. says: WHAT IS THAT?!
Susannah says: All of Clark County's legal information such as marriage licenses, land owned, and such tucked away on one easily-searchable website.
Sarah C. says: ha ha ha
Sarah C. says: You sound like you're writing a commercial for it or something
Susannah says: MyBoyfriendMike is single. He was married in [year], divorced in late [year]. His exwife, [name], was previously married twice in this county alone. (Her credit report portrays about [number] last names associated with her.)
Susannah says: I have access to the man's home address, yearly property tax information, signature, etc. I could for all intents and purposes BE HIM if I so chose to steal anyone's identity for an afternoon.
Sarah C. says: ha ha ha ha

(disclaimer: it's all in good fun, don't fret. ;) I have enough fun with my own identity that I don't need to steal any others.)

(these are a bit older--about 3 weeks ago)

Susannah says: I want to run around slapping people; the usual.
Sarah C. says: Why do you want to slap people?
Susannah says: They keep speaking in Spanish.
Susannah says: And we know my tolerance level for Spanish in the workplace.
Susannah says: Jayar and Irma have half hour long conversations in Spanish and I'm just sitting here mumbling names of Mexican food at them.
Sarah C. says: ha ha it's very low if I remember correctly; your tolerance level, that is
Susannah says: indeed

Elizabeth says: Hey... Whats up?
Susannah says: i'm so sick of Spanish.
Elizabeth says: como?
Susannah says: aaaaaaahhh!
Elizabeth says: tortilla, enchilada taco ladi dada
Susannah says: hahahaha, I've started mumbling names of Mexican food when they start talking in Spanish.
Elizabeth says: holy gordita !!
Susannah says: And little miss chickadee over here is driving me nutso. And your hubby keeps mentioning a performance review. And I can't get this breakdown to balance. I'm going insane!!!
Elizabeth says: so sorry little chalupa
Susannah says: I decided MyBoyfriendMike looks like a skinny Gil Grissom, now that he has the minibeard
Elizabeth says: i prefer chubby, if you must know the truth....
Susannah says: Well ditto.
Susannah says: as well as tall
Susannah says: George?
Elizabeth says: and rich
Elizabeth says: most importantly....
Susannah says: hahaha, there we go.

Susannah says: Jayar asked if it bothers me when they talk in Spanish.
Elizabeth says: What did you say?
Susannah I said "No commento"