"I forget which page to print, like a dork ...'cause dorks do that." -Irma

I present FUN AT THE OFFICE


Jayar: "On a scale of one to ten my excitement level isn't very high."
Susannah: "Hahahaha!"
Jayar: "What?"
Susannah: "It was just funny that you explained the numerical boundaries, yet didn't assign your excitement level a numerical value."
Irma: "Haha. Like from one to ten it was a C."

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Jayar: "Anyone want to get my rootcanal for me?"
Susannah: "If laughing gas is involved I'll do it."

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Susannah: "I know what we need! Cake!"
Irma: "How about we have cake after we get back [from our errands.]"
Susannah: "Why are you trying to squash my cake dreams?"

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Jayar: "I think I like the pork better than the General Tsao's chicken."
Susannah: "What?"
Jayar: "LKjadkghaduhekjlkcaedneaoerhjfg chicken."
Susannah: "Yeah, that's what I thought you said."
Irma: "Hahaha."
Susannah: "No, really, what did you say?"
Jayar: "What did who?"
Susannah: "Who's on first?"

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Jayar gets off the phone.
Susannah: "What did they say?"
Irma: "Adfalkdm adlkfhauiodhvb adlkflkc dlkjci elacihj asoijt lksejoick?"
Susannah: "Tortilla, enchilada, yo quiero Taco Bell."
Jayar: "Aldci ceau cliajiem ahgub dfpaocj akdficopew,soejfe s laksdjciaudgaer."
Susannah: "Burrito, tostada, taco, guacamole. Sus labios son como uvas." (thats 'your lips are like grapes', its the only phrase I know.)
Irma: "Ceiue m asieh wpvfi mi cpem qpdi apocvkme w apoijdsn."
Susannah: "ENGLISH!!!
Irma: "We'd better keep speaking in Spanish so Susannah doesn't know when we are talking about her."
Susannah: "Exactly my point."
Jayar: "Don't say that, she'll think we really are talking about her."
Irma: "Well we are."
Susannah: "Ok, enough!"

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Jayar: "Hey Susannah, can I borrow George (my VW) to go to my dentist appointment?"
Susannah: "Yeah; but you break him you buy him...You break him you buy me a brand new him."

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Irma, on the phone: "Hi, I was wondering if you rent childrens tables? Tables made for children..."
Susannah: "Hahaha. As opposed to childrens tables: tables made FROM children."

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Irma: "That's refreakingdiculous, man. This guy has got issues. I'm going to reply with 'Here's the freaking email you asked for, for the 3rd freaking time!'"

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Susannah: "When we were at the park [...] Caroline said, 'Black people love loud music.'"
Jayar: "Well, my daughter is a racist. I'm so proud."

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Irma: "That reminds me of this one guy I used to date..."
Susannah: "Don't lie to me."
Irma: "He did pretty well."
Susannah: "Was he filthy freaking rich?"
Irma: "He wasn't filthy rich, but he did well."
Susannah: "No. I said filthy freaking rich. Was he?"
Irma: "He worked for a pyramid scheme."

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Susannah: "What's his last name?"
Irma: "Asquith."
Susannah: "Asquith would be a difficult name to have if you had a lisp."
Irma: "What?"
Susannah: "Athquith. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAA!"
Irma: "Athquith, oh my...you're so funny."

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Susannah: "I have such a headache."
...
Susannah: "Ugh, my tummy is still hurting."
...
Susannah: "I shouldn't have worked out so hard, my arms are STILL sore."
...
Susannah: "Ouch, I pinched my neck when I did that little dance just then."
...
Susannah: "Dang, my feet hurt, I shouldn't have worn heels."
...
Susannah: "Gee, I'm complainy today. What if I had a real illness? You'd never hear the end of it."
...
Susannah: "I'd be like, 'I'm DYING!' and you'd be like, 'it's just a zit, Susannah!'"
Irma: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAAA. Ouch, don't make me laugh, it hurts.