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If there was one thing I wish I could teach the people of this country it is to DRESS FOR YOUR BODY*. Every single day I see someone cringe-worthy with things that are just HORRIBLE on them.
I want to drill into the minds of people that the point of clothing isn't to stay clothed. (If we were just aiming to avoid nudity there would be a whole lot more fabric flowing around here.)
These are things you need to know about yourself!
* YOUR BEST COLOR!
* Jean style
* Skirt style
* Skirt length
* Shoe style
* Shirt style
* Sleeve style
* Makeup style
* Hairstyle
I could give the examples of a 40-something shopping in the Junior section or of Meridith's smashing figure hiding in too-large BOY KHAKI CARGO SHORTS. (icky icky patooee)
But to really express my point I'd have to choose the example I know best--myself. I have things working against me, and a few working for me. But the goal is to play up the one while toning down the other.
For example:
color Dark red. Hands down.
jeans I'm very tall, but have my father's ...shapely calves. I've learned which jean works best on me--tall dark wash flared leg, bootcut in a pinch.
skirt I also know that to balance out my hips and emphasize my hourglass figure my skirts should have some sort of flare. I know that any skirt below the knee makes me look frumpy, and any skirt above the knee makes me look like a ...well, let's go with streetwalker (hi, Mom) haha.
shoe I know that some people (read: guys shorter than 6'2") have issues with my wearing heels. Intimidating, blah blahdy blah. However, I know that a tall heel is the best extension of a long leg--the thinner the heel the better. I also know that I should stick to pointy-toed shoes, as I wear an 11/12 (I know, I know, they're huge) and I look like a Hobbit in flipflops or Ronald McDonald with a rounded or square toe.
shirt Because I have a large (read: huge) chest I have to avoid shirts without darts. The perfect shirt has a tastefully low cut neckline (square is awesome on me), an empire waist with princess darts emphasizing my hourglass figure, and lands at LEAST on my hip. Not above. I know what does not work on me and that is exactly why I have not owned a turtleneck sweater in at least seven years.
sleeve There was never a better sleeve length invented than 3/4ths.
makeup I know that I want to tone down my big cheeks and play up my pouty lips and eyes; so I have learned how to manipulate shadows.
hairstyle Bangs, bangs, bangs. Because I have a forehead (as opposed to Irma, who has that-area-above-her-eyebrows-that-meets-her-hairline) I need bangs; sideswepted are best. Longer hair with long blended layers works best for me.
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Let's try MERIDITH!
color Baby blue matches her eyecolor and is a nice contrast to her brown hair.
jeans Tight on the behind with a flared leg. Any wash, but dark is best.
skirt Long thin skirts work well on Mer. As long as they are not hitting above the ankle.
shoe A flat sandal works well with her height (5'7ish) and her foot size (8?) Colored tennis shoes also work well.
shirt Tshirts with a thin fabric if they are fitted at the waist.
sleeve Capsleeves
makeup Her freckles make up the majority of her coloring, and she doesn't have wide eyelids. Gloss and go!
hairstyle Mer's best hairstyle is SHORT, SHORT, SHORT! Long bangs, A-lined into one majorly stacked back.
I wish I could afford to practice what I preach--I'm taking donations for a new wardrobe.
* As I am just now understanding this I take no responsibility for anything I wore prior to the year 2002. Or on laundry day.
4 comments:
I loved how you called my figure "smashing." How sweet are you! I wear a 9 1/2 shoe size, but everything else I'm just starting to figure out as well. Don't judge me by the way I looked at age....7 through 16. :D Can't wait to see you tomorrow!! (I realize that I'm talking about myself on your blog....but you did start it. ;) )
"There was never a better sleeve length invented than 3/4ths."
Amen, sister!
If you want, I can write a letter to What Not To Wear about how awful you dress. Then for a few weeks you can act like you've never heard of fashion before and develop some fetish like - an affinity to wearing clothes that have the playboy bunny figure on them. Then, you'll get $5,000 to buy a new wardrobe and pretend that you learned all about pointy toe shoes from them.
It's what I'm planning to do for myself one of these days.
ALSO - Stacy and Clinton's book "Dress Your Best" goes through each body type depending on height and tells you what is the best of all the things you mentioned above (except color) for that type. It's awesome. I want to just give it to my younger sister but I'm afraid she'd be offended and beat me with it.
Ah, please do. I can handle tapered stretch jeans and an embroidered sweater for 2 weeks if it means spending $5,000 with Clinton and Stacy.
Ooooooh do me!!!!
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