It has to be said.

Before:

After?:



Today we watched home videos, including the night my toe nail got ripped off, New Years resolutions, and a video of today when Luke was wearing swimming goggles and a bandana and was saying, "Yo Dude."

Holy crapola, Batman. I look about 450 lbs., hahaha. Ok, maybe slightly exaggerated... only 425 lbs.

I told the girlies I was sorry they had such a chunky auntie. Emma said, "No, auntie, you're not chunky. You're...nice." "Perfect!" Caroline volunteered. I knew there was a reason I hang out with them.

But really, oh my, it's gone on too long. Elizabeth says I shouldn't mention it to anyone and then Bam! show up in Utah all fit and stuff...but I think I need things to be public so I can have encouragement from all around. So here it is.

This time last year I was 23 lbs lighter than I am now. Sure, my life got a bit flipped upside down, hahaha, and got a tad stressful. But I know what to do and how to do it and I'm kicking myself for gaining those 23 lbs. (sad how i stayed in the exact same dress size throughout this whole lose-43-gain-20 thing. blah!) So ick.

I am wondering what works better for me, long-term goals or short?
Short: 50 lbs lost by the day I leave for Disneyland at the beginning of October.
Long: 110 lbs (whoa. will i be anorexically thin?) by May 2007.

While walking through the Tropicana today Elizabeth and I saw myself in a few months: a woman walking near us who was about 5'10", wearing heels, long blonde hair, and was about 185 lbs., GORGEOUS. Flat tummy, thick body, and curvy. I tried not to stare.


oh, by the way, I'm a dork.