Today I bought red cabbage. Red cabbage is not red, it is purple. It is one of those things we just have to accept. Like how butter lettuce does not, in fact, taste like butter; bunch of lying snakes.
I enjoy red (purple) cabbage. I like-a to slice-y it up and schnarf it like a snack-y. And that is good because it is like mostly water, or somesin, and it is like good for you, or somesin. It's SPICY! ("You can't give yourself a catchphrase.") (Maybe I should stop typing in the same accent I'm thinking in.)
Also, I bought Black Walnut Ice Cream, which has not yet proved itself to be worth my time. But I will give it another chance to wow me; much like The Donald would.
You're fired.
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