Perfection in a Cup

I love The Office. I really do. I giggle incessantly while watching. I don't know why I never discovered Dwight's blog before, but DANG GINA it's funny.

I hate Salmon. It's so pink. And it smells like fish. Salmon sucks!
I hate Salmon. I hope they all die in those rivers.

...


I don't 'hate' salmon. I really, really, really 'DONT LIKE' salmon.

Just a clarification. I recieved hundreds (literally TWO!) e-mails from people who actually like salmon and we're furious with me for insulting their stinky, pink, pukey fish.

If you like salmon so much why don't you go read the blog of one! Not possible. Salmon don't keep blogs. They're too stupid.

Point made.

This afternoon I went to Starbucks for the very first time ever. I walked out holding my little Starbucks cup wrapped in the little cardboard insulation ring and giggling loudly. My "Venti (fancy schmancy for 'large') minty chocolate". Dar-ling.

I went out to lunch with Anita today, and therefore I laughed my head off all lunch hour, of course.
Anita told me that Starbucks has "every calorie ever; they have it!" Silly Anita, a calorie isn't a thing. *soft music for the teaching moment* it is merely a measuring device. It is just the measure of energy it takes to raise the temperature of water one degree, silly. *end of soft music*
I had to write down some of the things she was saying because there were so many and I was laughing so hard I doubted I could just remember them.

"$4,000 freakin bucks for one body hitting my car hood!"

"I thought he was a big black bird!"

"He's probably an illegal and he works at DelTaco. He can't speak English, you know they can't."

"All I could think about was this man's head under my tire."

Anita: "I was throwing up yesterday."
Susannah: "Maybe you're pregnant, Anita!"
Anita: "Yeah, I'm 50 and my husband is 65; we'll make great parents."