Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?

I went to my ward boating activity yesterday. (At "Deer Crick" as opposed to Deer Creek, my heavens.) I did not, however, make it onto a boat. Instead I played volleyball with some of my ward members.

(I have lived in this section of this city my entire life (except for my 4 month stint in Provo) so my singles ward consists of people I went to elementary through high school with, and their siblings. Yeah, I'm not really a fan of that.)

So there I was being my usual social self by sitting on the sidelines--diet Pepsi in hand--watching everyone else play, making lame excuses with a smile when told I should join in. How do you say 'in truth I enjoy volleyball, just not you' nicely? Finally I gave in and made my way to the sand while saying things like, "keep your expectations low", "I've got long nails", "i apologize in advance for being the reason your team loses", etc.

I lived up to it, too. Oh, did I. Let's just say I'm much more comfortable in 4 inch heels a size too small than playing sports with guys from my high school football team. I hit members of my team with the ball an amazing total of five times. I'm sure they were surprised at my amazing athletic talent. They were swooning, I tell ya.

Do you think yelling, "That was just a practice serve!" everytime sounds a bit too novice? Kept them from asking if I was planning on going pro, at least.