I just filled out the customs declaration form. And because Meridith is not carrying snails into the country there wasn't much to declare. The baguette in my purse, perhaps. (No, I don't usually carry baguettes in my purse; only on special occasions and Canadian holidays.) I love filling out random things like customs declarations and credit card applications.
They just handed out a little dish of a lil sandwich and stuff and I got skipped. Outright skipped. Hahaha, random. Mer has one, the old dude with the neck pillow and eye mask next to her has one (which he's eating with a knife and fork), my parents across the aisle have some. Everone on the plane has one but me. Hahaha. Sir? Too many Diet Coke requests? *sniff* Hahaha. I don't really care, don't want the sandwich anyway, I just think its HILARIOUS. Meridith offered me her utensils, ain't she sweet? Oooo, I asked for a can and they let me have the full can! Woohoo! They always give me millions of ice cubes and a lick of soda. I am a gulper (The Honeyman once said I chug, but he was mistaken, I gulp) and a shot of soda is nothing to me.
Hahaha, Mer just said to the dude, "Umm, she didn't get a sandwich thingy" and the guy said "Ok" and brought one, haha.
Hello, my name is Susannah, and I have a drinking problem. --I can't make my mouth. I have 3 little Sprite trails down the front of my shirt, haha. I have the amazing ability to spill anything on any article of clothing. Its a skill it took years to hone; I'm quite proud of it.
Ooo, we are beginning our descent! Yay! My ears are popping, hehe. And my new boyfriend just walked by. Heavens, he's been four rows up all these 7 hours? And I didn't even know it? Hahaha. ("You're ObiWan!")
Back on the plane. Turns out my new boyfriend is foreign, I think he's Mexican. ("Dude, you're a Mexican!" "I'm from Honduras." "What part of Mexico is that?") I've been calling him My Foreign Boyfriend for the past hour. He kept showing up whereever we were--right behind me on the moving sidewalk, too. He just got on a flight to L.A.
Another flight, a completely different experience. Besides clothes shopping and roller coasters, airplanes are where I hate being chunky the most. Tiny window seat surrounded by 17-22 year old guys? Things my nightmares are made of. Oh my! Quite possibly the absolutely worst situation for a recovering social phobic!!! May possibly be worse than the time on the rollercoaster at Knott's Berry Farm where the little park employee was pushing on my tummy and pulling on the strap simultaneously as to get it to close completely. Lovely! I'm in the middle of such a huge anxiety attack. Only one tear has escaped, hopefully gone unnoticed by everyone; I don't know if I can hold the others back. Man I hate this; I wish the tears would stop, they only add to my paranoia. I don't know what I'm most freaking out about. Four and a half hours. Of this. And I just got told to turn my iPod off until after takeoff. *sigh* I can see why most Social Phobics become alcoholics, hahaha. Ugh. My skin freaked out in Europe, which really really only increases my paranoia of everyone around me.
Crap. I'm officially crying. I take what people say way too personally. Well, I just hold it against myself, or something. Like: My friend Phil once said, "Have you been crying? Either you have been or you did your makeup in the dark 'cause you look like crap." I've been paranoid of what I look like after crying since thn. He wasn't trying to be a jerk, in fact he was hugging me when he said it. Oh crap, my chin is quivering, I hate this. I don't even know why I'm writing this because I know where it will end up--out for anyone and everyone to see the actual thoughts in this neurotic brain of mine. I guess its better to write it rather than keeping my unbased paranoid thoughts building up.
Would my life be easier as a porcelain skinned thin blonde? I don't know, but I'm willing to give it a chance, hahahahaha. Daily life without constant worrying would be nice. No wonder I don't date--I can't handle a relationship with myself leatone anyone else!!!
We've been circling New Jersey for a good ten minutes, get out of here already!
Hahaha. Wow; the joys of having an anxiety disorder, eh? I settled down about ten minutes after that. (as I always do) Then I fell asleep for the rest of the flight.
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