I am making a quote board for my bedroom.
I had one in my apartment at the foot of the stairs and I laughed hysterically every time I walked by it. So I've scoured my archives to find my favorites.
My favorite quotes that have ever appeared on here:
Daria: "My hormones don't rage. Oh sure, they get mad sometimes, but then they just stop speaking to each other."
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Helen: "You can't spend the rest of your life in there."
Daria: "I can once they put in my high-speed internet connection."
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Susannah: "What do I think I'll miss out on if I go to sleep at 2 a.m.? Lance Bass IMing his undying devotion to me?"
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Honeyman: "I like your obsessions; they're what make you My Susie."
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Deborah: "I just keep looking over at you and thinking, 'She's the prettiest of all of us.' and I keep getting bugged."
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Annie: "Well, he is lonely; I want to see him happy. And I like you. And I want to see you happy. So if you guys can be happy together it works out for me."
Susannah: "Attempting to kill two birds with one stone there, Anne?"
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Camden: "Yoshi is not your friend!!!"
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Susannah: "Hi cute boys!"
Camde: "Hi cute Susannah!"
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Deborah: "You coming with us?"
Susannah: "I'm not sitting in the car in the ghettos of Orem!"
Aaron: "Hey! I know the people who own this apartment building."
Susannah: "What? You afraid they'll hear me?"
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Meridith: "You heard that sound? That means it's good. That's the 'ice-cream test'. You want that nice 'ppft'." (after dropping her ice cream on the ground)
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Susannah: "Bite me, Brown Boy." (to the UPS man)
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Honeyman: "Your biological clock is ticking away and we can all hear it!"
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Honeyman: "Oh, sure, right now it's 20, but soon it's going to be 23, single, WITH CATS!"
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Honeyman: "I'm getting fat, I'm thinking about starting to wear just sweaters. I'm suffering from fatpersonphobia. It's where you wear ugly, frumpy clothes to hide your figure."
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Honeyman: "I'm more confused than an immigrant on tax day!"
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Susannah: "I was switching the phone from one ear to the other and smacked my forehead with the phone in the process."
Honeyman: "Let me tell you this one thing: that may be the dumbest you've ever done. I don't know if you feel the same way about it, but I feel very strongly."
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Meridith: "You are weird; you have a weird personality. Cool and funny ...but weird." (to me)
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Honeyman: "You aren't going to cry, are you? Because I'm not in the mood."
Susannah: "Thanks for being so sensitive, Honeyman, I appreciate it. ...Dorkhead."
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Carson Kressley: "Prozac--it's not just for breakfast anymore."
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Deborah: "Maybe we'd be as skinny as them if we only ate croutons, too."
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Susannah: "I really try to not sing while nude--it's kind of my mantra."
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Susannah: "Look, this looks like a tiny brain."
Dad: "Susannah, most chickens don't have brains in their wings."
Susannah: "But this wing has a mind of it's own."
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Susannah: "It's the mutant hornet from Hell and he has come to eat me!!!"
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Elizabeth: "What's so clearance about it?"
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Elizabeth: "What would it be like to be so skinny?"
Deborah: "Boring! What would you be doing while the rest of us are eating?"
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Susannah: "Your makeup is dumb."
Deborah: "Your dad is dumb."
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Deborah: "Why're they all boys?"
Susannah: "It's a Korean thing."
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Sue: "I am taller and bigger than you."
Deb: "I am older."
Sue: "Barely!"
Deb: "THREE YEARS!"
Sue: "I think size, not age, should be the determining factor on who gets shotgun!"
Liz: "I always get to drive, 'cause I'm the oldest."
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Emma: "Leafs are not animals."
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Sarah: "My oilpainting class starts tomorrow...maybe we'll have nude models!"
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Sarah: "I always get marriage proposals from men with illegitimate children who really need to go to drug rehab!"
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Sarah: "A knife-throwing Albino...you don't see that everyday."
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Sarah: "How can I respect you when you are wearing hoop earrings, Sir?"
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Susannah: "Oh! So that's how the pretty people mate!"
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Honeyman: "What is this? Kim-World???"
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Honeyman: "Susannah, you're acting like you're drunk. You're fun this way, but what are you on?"
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Reba: "He plays sensual role models."
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Sarah: "He's cute in a short-and-skinny kind of way."
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Caroline: "Emma, watch me, I'll show you. See this? P-O-W-E-R. That spells 'on'."
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Elizabeth: "Small in Molly Mormon is different than regular Small."
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Dad: "If I could see him he'd be dead fly meat."
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Deborah: "I don't want to know what turns Hilary Clinton on. I know what turns Bill Clinton on--anything but Hilary."
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Susannah: "Any song whose lyrics include the phrase 'shake your bum-bumma' deserves to be on my playlist."
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Sarah: "My measurements are 24-32-18"
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Susannah: "Oh, you're right, I lied."
Sarah: "That's not a new development."
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Sarah: "I shocked myself...and it wasn't by my amazing wit either!"
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Susannah: "For some people stalking doesn't come second nature...it's strange."
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Honeyman: "There's 9 Marriotts and NO DEL TACO!"
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Honeyman: "WAKE UP!!!" [honk, honk]
Susannah: "Who're you waking up? Kinkos and Eyemasters???"
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Susannah: "Those people are trying to canoodle and there he goes- skipping off with his spotlight!"
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Amanda: "You people sure talk a lot for not being a [finger quotes] 'couple'."
Honeyman: "What are you talking about?"
Susannah: "I'm so confused."
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Honeyman: "Why is your foot there? What do I look like- a pediatrician???"
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Dad: "This is good. Have you ever dipped your fortune cookie in Diet Coke?"
Susannah: "That's nasty."
Aaron: "That's nasty??? Coming from the girl who just drank that stuff..."
Richard: "...Just drank sweet & sour sauce, chocolate ice cream, soy sauce, and lemon juice."
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Susannah: "Oh, it's a cat! I thought it was a monkey."
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Honeyman: "You need to join AA."
Susannah: "For what? The discounts?" (oops, thats AAA)
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Susannah: "Circus Circus: The Wal-Mart of casinos!"
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Susannah: "What did you say, Em?"
Emma: "It smells like Ryan."
Susannah: "What did you say before that?"
Emma: "Eeeewww."
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Deborah: "For once can I be undernourished? Why do I always have to be OVERnourished???"
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Meridith: "Don't you think so, Deborah?"
Deborah: "What? Oh, sorry. I was thinking about potatoes while you were talking. ...Red potatoes sliced up and put between wheat bread and how gross it would be."
Wow-- that's only a few of the archives and I've already gotten a flipping ton. Hmmm...maybe I'll finish later.
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