my so-called life

Fuchsia hair and crap

2012-01-14T09:52:00.001-07:00

I am used to being rejected for my looks. My entire adolescence and young adulthood I've been rejected for my looks. I am not the short skinny blonde that bewitches without trying. I am the tall chunky brunette built like a cross-dressing linebacker, who is often disregarded.

What? Cross-dressing linebacker women just aren't your thing?
I am so used to it. I am surprised when I receive attention.

But lately I've learned that I'm being rejected not only because I am more masculine than half the men around me, but because I am not good enough.

You dye your hair unnatural colors, I just can't see myself with someone like that.

Wait, what?!

Sue, you are the coolest girl I know. You're fun to be around, you're so awesome, Sue...but you drink caffeinated drinks.

Apparently I am an unworthy person because of my sporadically pink hair, love of Mtn Dew, occasional skirt above my knee (with 40" legs it's shocking more skirts aren't above my knee), my semi-coarse language (what the crap?!), movie collection that includes a few questionable titles (come on, it's a Simon Pegg classic!), I don't bear my testimony enough / am not outwardly spiritual enough (I never have been vocal about this. Ask my family. I have always kept everything very much to myself.), and of course my shirts are too low cut (try having this much flesh and not have a cleavage shadow in anything but a turtleneck!)

Sue, you are awesome, you're the coolest girl I know, but you are obviously a heathen (despite my knowing you are actually a pretty decent person and actually not heathen-like at all.)

So to be worthy of being a good girlfriend/spouse/parent I must have a natural haircolor always, quote scripture in everyday conversations, shun the very idea of a Diet Coke, and refuse to view anything over a G rating.

My mom was right?!

Sorry, guys. It's just not going to happen.

...maybe I need to get out of Utah again.

Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh!

2011-11-30T21:15:00.040-07:00

Tonight I took my 4-year-old nephew, Ezra, on his first Auntie Date.

Deborah dropped us off at the Ice Cream place, where Ez-Dawg got a little bit (and "just a little bit more...a liiiiiiittle bit more") of vanilla ice cream and Auntie concocted an egg nog/chocolate/butter pecan mixture.

After Ez couldn't finish the rest of his ice cream (told you so, E) we put our coats back on and headed across the parking lot to the movie theater.

We bought our tickets to The Muppets and headed over to the concession stand. E doesn't like candy, he doesn't really like sweet stuff (vanilla ice cream notwithstanding) so he was not tempted by the kettle corn in the same fashion as his chunko auntie.

So we both had our own popcorn: one kettle corn, one ~~gross~~ regular. I asked Ez-Dawg over and over if he wanted a drink, maybe a water bottle? He declined. So halfway through the movie he asked me for his drink. Uh...want mine? So the little dude tried, and liked, Vitamin Water Zero (Rise flavor).

Poor guy wasn't expecting all those "commercials" at the beginning. He kept leaning over to ask, "This the Muppets?" "Nope, little dude, this is a commercial for a different movie." "Oh." ... "This the Muppets?"

E seemed to enjoy the movie. It took a minute for him to get into it (me too, actually). About halfway Ez said loudly, "Umm, Auntie Susie, I'm done with this movie." Hahaha. I told him it wasn't quite over, he seemed appeased with that and sat back.

The little guy laughed so hard during the "Am I a Man or a Muppet?" song. Cracked him right up. So cute.

After the movie E-Z and I refilled the good popcorn and took pictures in the photobooth.

Then his mom picked us up.

A successful date.

To the untrained eye

2011-11-22T14:09:00.002-07:00

My iPad (Jareth the Goblin King) cost me A LOT of money, but sitting in a cold hostel in Rome, Italy, surrounded by strangers, and getting to see my little 8-month-old niece Kumquat* wave to me for the very first time makes it totally worth the money.

*not her real name. But that'd be cool, huh?

"I don't know how to say 'no cheese' in Italian."

2011-11-18T12:00:00.002-07:00

Day before yesterday we explored Rome all day. We did an open-top bus tour and saw almost all of the big touristy spots.

We sat on the Spanish Steps... and, uh, sat there. Then we cheesed it up for the camera:

11/11/11

2011-11-11T03:16:00.001-07:00

In Jerusalem. Was at the Garden Tomb on 11/11/11 at 11:11

Bored to board

2011-11-05T01:50:00.003-06:00

We are waiting in the lobby of our Rome hotel. We are boarding a bus that will take us to the Vatican before taking us to our cruise ship.

It has been a lot of fun so far. Lots of waiting, lots of sitting, lots of carbs.

Our group is mostly couples in their early 60s, with a few scattered youngin's mixed in.

This morning Cele and I came down to the lobby at 5:45 a.m. to sit and write in our journals before breakfast. We had a pleasant breakfast sitting next to one of the speakers on our tour. (In chatting with him we found out he was really good friends with my manager/friend Jamie and her late husband. Cele says this trip is not fortuitous, we are supposed to be here.)

I woke up at 3 this morning and tried to stay quiet by watching a movie on my iPad but I quickly got bored. I got up and dressed and did my makeup before Celeste woke up.

:)

Roam if you want to, roam around the world

2011-11-04T13:53:00.002-06:00

Rachel, Celeste and I are safely in Rome, Italy. We just got back from dinner (spaghetti) and are preparing for what we will wear and bring to the Vatican tomorrow. They are thoroughly mocking my putting curlers in my hair before bed. What can I say? This is a sexy look for me. Meow!

I want my lynch mob in pinstripes.

2011-10-27T15:35:00.000-06:00

The piano tuner is here, which means my day off is less day-off-y as I'd like it to be.

I have to hang out on the main level (bedroom upstairs, big screen tv downstairs), I have to be semi quiet (no blasting my music, I guess) and before my mom left she said I had to put on a shirt.

Boo.

"Whatcha call that? Stupid on a plate?"

2011-10-26T20:51:00.054-06:00

I am tall. I love this (a lot) in general, but sometimes it gives me problems. I have 40 inches of leg to deal with. Do you realize what that means? Everything is way too short on me. :/

I am not against things being too short, haha. But that is the problem: I would totally go out like that. Oops. I would pretty much live in my black booty shorts if it were kosher.
But anyway, uh, yeah...my legs are long, my dresses are too short.

And that is a problem. I have a problem.

I'm in love with this dress:

(I am the one on the right, the one who is almost too busty for the sweater-like material. And yeah, I take pictures of myself in the dressing room. I have freakishly high self-esteem.)

It is incredibly short, even by my loose standard. Despite it being $80 I would like to purchase it and wear it every single day of my life, dressed up with delicate jewelry, funked up with chunky necklaces, dressed down with jeggings and boots. (Yeah, I wrote jeggings. This gags me, too.)

But is it a bit too much? It is short enough that if I fell or something I'd be almost naked...a hospital gown would be less revealing.

But I love this dress. The ruching on the sleeves, the different knits from the top piece to the bottom piece. Oh, it is fabulous.

But too short?

"He is 6 foot 6 of pure automotive knowledge."

2011-10-21T14:33:00.001-06:00

There are many pleasant little moments throughout my day. Like waking up and realizing I have time to hit snooze, or that awesome moment when I get home and finally get to rip off my shirt.

Speaking of pleasant moments, how about this past July, huh? That was like a really long pleasant moment.
My friend Ashley came up from Las Vegas. Ryan and I got to introduce her to everything Utahn. I love Utah in July! (I love July in general.)

Bonfires in the canyon! Got caught in the sprinklers, shoes fell off, fell on the grass, stood up, fell again, got hit in the face with the sprinkler. Nice.

Hot Air Balloon Launch The Darth Vader balloon was there so the Star Wars characters made appearances as well. I found the look of Star Wars next to all this patriotic clothing hilariously odd.

Stadium of Fire! Sat outside the stadium with Ryan and Ashley and listened to Brad Paisley play.

Then the blessing of my sweet little nephew, Noah! My sister is a fox.

4th of July Went to the parade in Provo with Ashley, Caroline and Emma Kate. Met up with Meridith, Ben and Kumquat. Took Ashley to my family reunion lunch (I hate those things.) Went to dinner at Cheesecake Factory then went to the Sandy City fireworks, which were fantastic! So fun.

Harry Potter midnight showing! Sat in line with friends in Provo for hours despite having assigned seating tickets in Draper.

Celeste and I threw ourselves an Italian-themed joint birthday party dinner! I excel at forcing people to celebrate me.

I turned 27 in style. I mean I asked my mom to take me (with Caroline, Emma Kate and Luke) to the Paleontology museum. We did our best raptor impressions and looked at giant sloth skeletons. We went out for ice cream and my Momma made a trifle. Then some friends and I gathered for dinner and frivolity (and I wore a tiara all day.)

A random potluck dinner at the park. I brought a ton of tacos. Like 20 tacos. An insane amount of tacos.

Seriously, July was awesome.

Let's do it again, shall we?

"People die of bedbug bites at my age."

2011-10-19T00:13:00.002-06:00

I love stupid tv shows. Looooooooove stupid tv shows.

My new favorite stupid show is Storage Wars. The focus is on four men who bid on storage units that have been abandoned monetarily (and the men are all sorts of feisty with each other and bid higher and higher just to annoy the other guy and drive the price up.)

Sometimes they end up with empty boxes and garbage. Sometimes they end up with 150K in collectibles/jewelry/random weird things.
It isn't a show I would schedule my day around, but I enjoy that it is on Netflix Instant. I have it playing in the corner of my screen while I do other stuff. I am easily entertained.

I love Barry the most. He reminds me of some men who come in the salon: a little older, isn't in his element, is quirky and schmoozy with women and he relates situations to stories of the 60's and 70's.

"...since I've been 15-years-old." Since you've been? How long have you been 15?

"I think those psychic sisters are in for a raise."

2011-10-18T16:17:00.001-06:00

My niece Kumquat (not her real name, which is unfortunate because it is an awesome name) is almost 8-months-old. I am her very favorite auntie.

She told me so.

Because I am an awesome babysitter.
(These pictures are from early August, so she is quite a bit older now.)

First we are sitting there chatting, 'Quat being as cute as ever.

Then, being an idiot, I say "Boo!" (trying to get her to smile) and it startles Miss Kumquat.

So we snuggle. This doesn't calm her down as much as it should.

So 'Quat gets smooches. Smooches from me will make anyone happy.

No longer crying, I give Kumquat some chocolate. Ok, ok, I kid. I just let her suck on/slobber on the package.

And then I introduced her to Pee-Wee Herman via Pee-Wee's Big Adventure on my iPad, Jareth the Goblin King. Because she will only get a proper education in quality entertainment from me.

Because her Momma is introducing her to crapola like this:

This gravy is tall, dark and handsome.

2011-10-17T22:01:00.000-06:00

My manager and I were chatting about some guys today.

Jamie: "Is he your type?"
Susie: "My type? I don't know."
Jamie: "You know...thick and kinda funny..."
Susie: "'Thick and kind of funny' sounds more like something you'd send back to the kitchen."

-----

I have a case of the sexy voice. I woke up with a cold a week ago, which quickly turned into bronchitis (thank you, my susceptible-to-inflammation lungs!) and kicked my trash.

Because of The Sickness (He and I are not one. He gets a name all his own.) I have discovered an amazing, amazing thing: going to bed before 10:30 pm. I found out that it means, get this, you get to sleep longer! Why has no one thrown this logic in my face?
'Hey Susannah, you enjoy sleep, right? Well what if I told you I know a way you can sleep THREE EXTRA HOURS A NIGHT and still wake up right before you have to leave for work? No, really! It's called Going To Bed Before 10:30. It is guaranteed to work."

I am a logical gal. Had I been privy to the kind of information maybe I would have been all over this years ago?

...And I'm a Mormon

2011-10-14T20:02:00.000-06:00

I love this video.

I'm a fan of The Killers and I guess I'd assumed Brandon Flowers (the lead singer) had distanced himself from the church like other celebrities with LDS ties.

"What it means to be a leopard in the modern world."

2011-10-10T23:02:00.102-06:00

I don't understand people who aren't friends with their siblings. I say I am lucky to have been raised with my 6 best friends. The same goes for my nieces and nephews. They are my buddies.
Getting to spend almost 4 years living down the street from my big sister not only helped me get to know her better but helped me stay close with her babies.

My Care Bear is a teenager!!!

Susannah: "I was going to write a bunch of embarrassing things about you on your Facebook wall for your birthday."
Caroline: "Oh gosh."
Susannah: "Yeah, uh, that's why I didn't do that."

SO I'LL WRITE IT HERE!

Caroline is my oldest sister's oldest daughter; my first niece. She likes to call herself my Favorite Niece, but how can I say that when I have 11 awesome nieces. But I do consider Care one of my best friends, one of my favorite people to hang out with.

One time I made her laugh so hard she wet her pants in the middle of Target.
Bwahahahahahaha. I nicknamed her Pull-Up Puddles that night.

Ok, I'll stop with the embarrassing things. Instead how about what I love about Caroline?
She is very intelligent. One smart cookie. She not only gets my jokes, her come-backs are often funnier. Care and I have sleepovers when she visits, we pick out a movie (usually I pick it out) and I quickly fall asleep while Care watches the entire thing. Poor thing has watched all my favorite movies so many times. When Caroline was about 8-years-old she could explain the plot lines for all three Back to the Future movies in intricate detail.

Last week Caroline cuddled with me on the couch while I rewound a Scott Conant clip on tv for about twenty minutes.

How can she be 13 already?? Pretty soon she is going to be so old that she won't want to hold my hand while we drive or let me choose what we watch on tv (ha, are we an old married couple or what?)

(Next month my Abbs turns 13 as well! I'm so excited for her. I have been gathering things for her gift for months! They've been tucked in my dresser, waiting for to open them while I'm in Israel on her birthday.)

Where's the love?

2011-09-16T18:48:00.000-06:00

Seven years ago I went to the Hanson concert and met the brothers Hanson afterward...you can read about that stalking adventure right here.

with Taylor Hanson, 2004

Last night I went to the Hanson concert with Ryan and met the brothers Hanson again. Here I was feeling yesterday was an Ugly Day, but compared to the pufftastic-faced permed Susannah of 20-years-old, stringy-banged 27-year-old Susannah is looking pretty good.

With Taylor Hanson, 2011

Fantastic concert. I had a great time. I greatly enjoyed meeting the guys afterward, they were incredibly nice.

To touch is to heal, to hurt is to steal, if you wanna kiss the sky better learn how to kneel

2011-09-06T19:30:00.003-06:00

I was talking to Bethany and Bobby about Bobby's personal bubble (the name of my new band, haha) and came to the conclusion there is a BIG difference between being a close-talker and enjoying a close physical proximity.

I want you near me, don't stand so close to me.

Hahahaha.
I like people close to me. Sit by me, climb onto my lap, throw your legs over me, sit on my legs, snuggle into my side, hold my hand while we drive! (My 12yo niece Caroline laughs at me because of the weird way I hold her hand while we're driving. She took pictures of it last time.) Don't sit across the room when we're watching TV, sit by meeeeeeee. (I used to bug Ryan about that. "Why are you allllllll the way over there?")

But I don't like close-talkers. Back up, sir.

I've become a touchy person. I've become a hugger.

I never expected that to happen.

We were never a touchy family. I don't remember ever hugging each other. My grandpa would grab us into a squeezey hug from behind. We were hugged, we didn't instigate.
Because of that I always felt weird when friends hugged me. Uhhh...stop touching me. Like, now. I mean it. Hahaha
It really didn't help that I was like a foot taller than my friends, that makes for so awkward hugs (or what they really were: intrusions into my bubble.)

I'm new to being a hugger so I am still working on the rules of appropriateness. I wrapped my leg around the girlfriend of a friend upon our first introduction. No, really...oops. That was a reflex. (I'm pretty sure she still thinks I'm weird.)
I'm still learning arm placement and that maybe I shouldn't run up to people, throw my arms around their neck and squeeze the life out of them.

I've learned I don't like awkward squeeze-your-upper-arm side hug that some friends and Great Aunts do. And I learned wimpy hugs are like limp handshakes: everyone feels weird about it afterward.
Come on, I'm not fragile (ha!) act like you mean it.

**creepy smiley wink**

I'm your statistically significant other

2011-08-31T11:50:00.000-06:00

bwahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahaaa

"It's beautiful, seductive even, but it's incomplete."

2011-08-27T03:16:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like you have to apologize for being you?
I hate that feeling.

I keep feeling like that this week.
Ew.

I am an... interesting person, for lack of a better word. I am a whole lot of personality.
I am shy and a people-pleaser who wants everyone to have a good time. (White and yellow in the color code personality book.) I will not have an opinion if it means other people will better enjoy the situation. (Unless I really, really have a strong opinion abut it.) I let others pick the movie, the activity, etc. I want them to enjoy themselves with me.

I am loud; I don't mean to be loud, it just comes out that way. I speak loudly and animatedly, my laugh is loud. I try to be quiet...it doesn't last.

I laugh/chuckle/giggle almost constantly. It's how I express pretty much any/every emotion. I chuckle when I'm nervous, I giggle when I'm scared, I laugh when I'm feeling awkward. I giggle without realizing I'm doing it.

I talk a lot; I like to tell stories, I like having a bit of an audience. When I'm quiet I get asked whats wrong? (typically nothing is wrong. I have nothing to say or don't want to be obnoxious.)

I'm built like a linebacker so I'm easily discounted as one of the girls. I'm not dainty, I'm not Provo Cute (a Natalie Portman/Anne Hathaway/Julianne Hough hybrid who can quote conference talks and would never wear a décolleté-baring top.) I am the best friend; the unthreatening person you call when your girlfriend is out of town/doesn't want to see that movie. I am...just me. (I hate being the best friend. I'd rather our friendship wasn't determined by your girlfriend's vacation plans.)

I don't fit in a group easily. I am too worldly for my churchy friends, too churchy for my other friends, too nerdy for the beauty industry, too hairdresser-y for the nerd community.

I don't see myself changing from who I am, and I'm not going to apologize for being me.

"Roosters create the eggs."

2011-08-25T23:50:00.002-06:00

I often write down things people say. They are not thought-provoking, they are not inspiring. They make me laugh.

Megan: "Holy hippopotamus!"
---
Brittany: "She'll kick you with her toe."
---
Matt: "Stop footsie-ing me!"
---
Susannah: "Yeah...I get my kicks from strangers."
---
Jason: "Partyin' in the dead zone."
---
Rachel: "I needed to see what was behind door number 1."
---
Brittany: "He keeps doing that and I want to say I DON'T SPEAK SIGN LANGUAGE!"
---
Kyra: "I would be a trophy wife in a second."
---
Jason: "You fiend!"
Matt: "You were called a fiend."
Susannah: "I know, I kinda liked it."
---
Brittany: "In that bathroom is something I haven't seen since I was two."
---
Celeste: "Don't kick me there!"
Brittany: "Don't bite Susannah when she's telling a story!"
Celeste: "I had to!"
---
Rachel: "Blocks don't make good fans."
---
Brittany: "We got cuted by the bishopric."
---
Kyra: "I'm the only Who in my family."
---
Hannah: "I call her Trash. Trash is short for Veronica."
---
Mer: "She can't show me her tailbone."
Ben: "Because I'm here?"
---
Mer: "Your tailbone is not in your uterus."
---
Sus: "I want a baked potato and my bed."
---
"You killed Santa!"

"I love candy corn. You are like my drug dealer."

"Your mom looks like a squirrel."
---
Brittany: "I mean, how many people have been baptized for Elvis?"
Danny: "I have twice...love that man."
---
Celeste: "I don't really care about stuff, is that horrible?"
Brittany: "I care about stuff."
---
Danny: "I like my calves."
Susannah: "Are they your favorite muscle?"
Danny: "Mwahaha haha haha mwahaha ha haha mwahaha."
---
Susannah: "How many times are you going to say Patrick Warburton?"
Celeste: "70."
Brittany: "You have a little ways to go."
---
Celeste: "Celebrities follow her tweets."
Danny: "Michael Jackson?"
Brittany: "He's dead."
Celeste: "It's too soon!"
------------

Texts I have locked on my phone
(Some are thoroughly out of context, some wouldn't even make sense in context, some just make me smile)

Matt: Walking home and avoiding the sprinklers was like real-life Mario.
---
Meridith: "Large" is relative anyway...for a giant.
---
Aaron: Go Susannah, go Susannah; cut the hair, cut the hair
---
Chris: Rats, I dropped my PopTart.
Susie: Haha, locked.
Chris: What? What? That wasn't funny! Unlock sesame! Slide to unlock! Bwoop bwoop car remote!
---
Matt: If Kevin is dead, shoot him again just in case.
---
Chris: I need a girl!
---
Caroline: Gouda cheese is calling for you. He is saying "Come and get me! You know you want me!" too bad there isn't actually any Gouda cheese here for you.
---
Dad: I love you, Susannah.
---
Aaron: I still have a hickey on my neck.
---
Susie: Are you going?
Chris: Not sure yet. Gotta love indecisiveness.
Susie: You need a Magic 8 Ball app.
Chris: Then I'd have to analyze the result and that would make me even more indecisive.
Susie: So then there's no hope, eh? Doomed to a life of indecisiveness because you won't take life direction from a Mattel toy.
Chris: Yep.
Susie: Probably wise; if I did everything my Barbie suggested I'd be a lifeguard ballerina school teacher astronaut. And then I'd really have no time for a social life!
Chris: Hahahahahahahaha! Love it!
---
Deborah: P.S. I love you?
---
Brittany: I just totally had a you moment because I didn't realize I was on a date until I was on it.
---
Chris: Girl geeks are hot.
---
Susannah: I ate cilantro and mentally chased you around with my cilantro-y fingers.
Meridith: Hahaha I am mentally shrieking with fake fright and running in circles away from you.

"You" is a very fluid concept right now.

2011-08-24T02:55:00.000-06:00

I am not good at being a girl.

Hahahahahahahaha.

I can't slow dance because I try to lead.
I don't cuddle; I can't cuddle...I don't know how to cuddle. Hahaha.

I am used to my nieces snuggling up with me, I'm used to my nephews climbing on me, I'm used my sisters sitting on me and putting their legs on me. I am not typically the one to cuddle up to someone. I am the pillow, I am the comforter, I don't know how to be anything else.

I need girl lessons.

Cele puts her legs on me, links her arm in mine, puts her head on my shoulder. Can you imagine the contortions on the couch I have to do to get myself short enough to put my head on Cele's shoulder?! Bwahaha, I tried it, I had to be like 3/4ths off the couch.

Yum? Eww.

2011-08-23T12:09:00.001-06:00

An IM with Meridith from a few years ago. She was in the room next to mine. As true then as it is now. ;)

See that aspiring model there? That was me, Deb.

2011-08-12T00:19:00.002-06:00

I have purchased a few tv shows on DVD purely on the assumption I will like them, having never seen an episode before. I haven't been wrong (JAG still isn't my favorite, but I am still only a few episodes in.)
This is how I first came to see and love The Big Bang Theory.
The only thing I love more than nerdy men is funny nerdy men.

I heard a few things about Drop Dead Diva before I made the decision to watch all of season one in a day or two. Everything I'd heard about this show screamed my name. Courtroom comedy about a chunky chick who loves fashion? Check. Cover that is predominantly pink? Checkity check check.

I have an obsession with law. (Law, geology, astronomy, meterology, paleontology and cosmetology. I basically want to study rock formations, stars, clouds, dinosaurs and the science of beauty while becoming a lawyer or FBI agent. At the moment? Hairdresser.)
(I love that Legally Blonde is resolved [umm, spoiler alert?] by Elle Woods proclaiming that due to the sodium thioglycolate in the perm [to weaken the disulfide bonds in the protein structure of the hair] the witness would not have washed her hair {as it would loosen the curl.} My worlds collide! Science of hair meets law!)
What was I saying...? Oh yeah, I have an obsession with law shows so I had high hopes for this one. (And the goofy drama in the courtroom did not disappoint.)

When I first heard about Drop Dead Diva it was touted as a vehicle for a plus size woman to play the lead. Fat Acceptance blogs were going crazy. A normal looking person is going to star? And they are letting this happen?

The creator of the show has been quoted as saying "beauty has been defined as size 2 and under 25; hopefully we can help redefine the paradigm."

Really? A standard of beauty that actually includes me?

Really?

Really?

Really?

IT IS LIKE HE DIDN'T EVEN SEE/READ HIS OWN PILOT EPISODE!

The entire first episode is "You're fat now? Eww." and overwhelming cravings for doughnuts.
A great start for a paradigm being redefined, no?

The story is that Deb crashes her car while painting her nails and talking on the phone to her best friend Stacy. She dies, gets sent back to Earth and lands in Jane's body.
I hate, hate, hate (p.s., hate) the way they handle her transition from Deb (blonde aspiring model) to Jane (brunette lawyer)

Deb, waking up in Jane's body: "Why do I feel bloated?" looks at her new body "You sent me to Hell?"
---
Having explained the situation to her best friend, Stacy: "So let me get this straight, you died, went to heaven, pressed a button and they turned you into a size 16?"
Deb/Jane: "Pretty much."
Stacy: "That is so unfair. I mean, fat things shouldn't happen to skinny people."
---
Deb/Jane about her fiancé: "He loved Deb, but he'd run from this."
---
When Jane is stressed out her assistant, Teri, squirts spray cheese into her mouth to calm her.

What in the crap?!

Hang on a moment, remind me again why I am supposed to love this show? The show that was supposed to be so empowering and paradigm redefining?

Thank heavens it has evolved a bit. I now love this show. They've stopped shoving in your face just how lesser Jane was to Deb. They don't quite scream that tall, thin, blonde and stupid (gotta keep those stereotypes right) Stacy is the only pretty one on the show anymore. Jane's wardrobe is better, hair is nice, makeup done well...no longer the dowdy Jane.

She is New Jane.

Oh New Jane -- with the smushed minds of Deb (fashion, beauty, pop culture) and Jane (law, culture, actual intelligent conversation.)

If New Jane were a lot taller and a heckuva lot nerdier she'd be Susannah.

(But not New Susannah, because I have no idea who that is.)

Ask me how do I feel from this chemistry lesson I'm learning

2011-08-09T16:02:00.003-06:00

"So, who do you like?" The conversation starter of choice from ages 10-24. New friend or old bestie, same topic. Now that I am the ripe ol' age of 27 I don't get that one as much as the ever popular "So who can I set you up with?"

I often say "I don't date." which gets met with strangely sympathetic "Oh sure you do!"

Do I?

I will be the first to admit I do not realize when I'm on a date. I am oblivious to many things. Remember that time I left the voicemail on Sarah's phone that said, "Hey Sar, it's Sue. I think I'm on a date with a lesbian. I'll call you a later." yeah, totally true story.

(Not realizing I'm on a date is right up there with my being oblivious to when I'm being asked out. "Oh, its not cool that I invited my friend to come with us?")

Because every conversation, lesson in church and just about any question directed toward me involves dating I turned to my married co-worker and Dictionary.com to help me out here. (It's a slow night in the salon.)

What constitutes a date?
It says: A social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.

She says: One-on-one getting to know someone.

Dad says: When you're together alone with a person.

I say: in that case I am dating a lot of people!

How does a date differ from hanging out with a friend?

Church says: Planned, paid for and paired off.

She says: Intent.

I say: I plan, pay for and pair off with no intent. This isn't helping!

What if it isn't clear whether or not it is intended to be a date?

She says: It should be made clear to both parties beforehand. If it isn't clear, treat it as such, but don't assume it is.

I say: 'Why are you acting so awkward?' 'I'm pretending, but not assuming, we are on a date.' Bwahaha!

----------

So, uh, yeah, IMHO I don't date.
"But why? Why, Susannah? Why are you not so pursued that you are busy every single night??"

I have no idea.

"They are not eye candy, they are like 12-years-old...they are Happy Meals."

2011-08-01T01:08:00.000-06:00

Down 33 lbs since April.

I'm hosting a Welcome Home party for my jawline.

Because guess what, that means I am halfway to my goal of losing 65 lbs before I gain it all back in November (when I have a 3 week culinary experience on vacation in the Mediterranean.)

Huh

2011-07-24T20:14:00.001-06:00

I've learned something interesting about myself. I guess it would be about people in general, really.

I was talking to Brittany about being introverted and extroverted; how someone processes the information in a situation. (She processes internally, I do not.)

And a conversation with Sarah made me realize why I do some of the weird things I do (I won't go into details but it is essentially the result of feeling no control in a relationship. Controlling what little I can control.)

Through these conversations I was able to recognize that I do not figure things out mentally. I need to tell someone or to write it out. This is why my blog can get really personal at times: it is where I figure things out. There are probably 50+ entries still in draft because I either still have not figured out the complete thought or I was able to come to a conclusion and no longer needed it.

I do not verbalize my thoughts well. Probably because I don't figure out what conclusion I'm trying to come to until I'm there.
Thank heavens women speak observationally so often, rather than making a point all the time. I would be silent or just be spewing out rambling sentences that, although empassioned, aren't a coherent thought.

Because of this I have a difficult time communicating with someone who doesn't give me the time to figure out what I'm trying to say. This is also why I come off as flippant and superficial.

So if you really want to know something about me don't accept the first answer to a question, I probably haven't thought about it enough to have a genuine answer.

word cloud

2011-07-19T18:10:00.000-06:00

They dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn / it's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

2011-06-23T03:24:00.001-06:00

Hanging out on the Bonneville Salt Flats last year. I love this picture because it reminds me of the fun we had that day and because, ya know, my behind looks great in it.

I'm convinced my new neighbors can see into my bedroom at night. My blinds are the cloth kind, so I'm pretty sure that when it is dark outside and my light is on I am totally silhouetted and usually scantily clad. I'm not complaining, although I feel should get paid for the dancing.

My co-worker wants to set me up with her friend. He came in the salon the other day and she'd hoped I'd be there but I was in St George that day. She told my manager about her intentions to set us up and my manager agreed he is my "type" (although after perusing his FB profile [she showed it to me! I'm not stalking the poor kid. {yet.}] I can't really say I disagree with that assessment.)
However, I thoroughly disagree with the idea of me on a blind date! Oh heavens. As Ryan so eloquently put it: "He thought he was going out with Fun, Awesome Sue and instead Crack Head Sue showed up."
Crack Head Sue is overcompensation for being shy. It is a personality that emerges when I'm nervous about having to not be shy. It is an overly-loud, obnoxious thing. Unfortunately a good chunk of the guys I've gone out with have met Crack Head Sue.

You'd think I'd be fine with blind dates, as my job is quite similar to 20 blind dates a day.

Him: So how long have you been doing hair? Do you like doing it?
Me: Since 2006, and yeah...its my thing. [Are you pacified enough that I'll do a fine job?]
Him: Thats cool. What are your plans for the future? Do you think you'll continue at a salon like this or would you open your own place?
Me: Uh...I'm not sure. [I really have no plans for my future. I live with my parents. I don't have a car. Working at this well-known chain salon for near minimum wage is as far as I've figured out.] What do you do?
Him: I'm going to school at BYU.
Me: What are you studying?
Him: I'm going into law.
Me: What do you plan on doing with that? [Not that I care. At all.]
Him: I'm not sure yet. So what do you like to do when you aren't doing hair?
Me: Sleep. (forced chuckle) [Do you want the truth? I get home, strip off my hairy clothes, and try to erase my day from my mind. Put on workout clothes...procrastinate my workout by doing anything else...take off workout clothes. Check my email and FB, climb into my bed with my iPad and fall asleep listening to something on Netflix.]
Him: Are you into rock climbing at all? I really love rock climbing, running and mountain biking.
Me: I'm not much of a rock climber. [Bwahahahahahahaha; understatement.]

The other day I told a client that he looks like Alex Winter (I clarified with "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure...the one who isn't Keanu.) I really should shut up and stick to the hair, although its better than a few months ago when I told a guy he looks like Lyle Lovett. I'm just sayin'.

I go to bed looking like Anna Nicole or Anna Paquin or whomever I get told I look like (Monica Lewinsky) and yet I wake up looking like Doc Emmett Brown from Back to the Future. I combat this with a heavy dose of makeup that results in a look that screams: If Doc Brown Moonlighted as a Drag Queen. Got that visual in your head? You're welcome.

I am amused by what appears in my dreams. Things I don't realize I'm thinking about, people I haven't seen in years, weird situations.
Last night someone in my dream commented that my fingernails are really long. When I woke up I looked at them and thought, "Huh. They are getting pretty long."
I find that when I look at Twitter or FB near the time I fall asleep I end up with interesting visitors in my dreams.
Thats all. No story attached.

I made a goal to lose 65 lbs before I go on my trip this November. From mid-April to June I lost 20 lbs...then lost motivation, kinda. Self-sabotage, as usual. As soon as people started to notice a change I stopped working as hard on it. (I have issues. I'm well aware.) I don't realize how different I look in the moment. Looking back I can see changes easily. I miss my jawline.

Babe with the power

2011-06-16T01:14:00.000-06:00

I did it.
I bought an iPad.

I named him Jareth the Goblin King, and I am in love with him.

This was a big event because not only did I save up my tips specifically with this purchase in mind, and it was my biggest purchase to date...

IT WAS MY FIRST APPLE PURCHASE!

Everything I have had up to this point was gifted to me. (I am very spoiled, I know.)

I am still figuring out my way around Jareth the Goblin King. It has been...interesting. I'm accidentally archiving email I mean to delete and I mess up with the autocorrect all the blasted time (Dear autocorrect, I guarantee you I never mean "Pontiac", stop slipping it into my sentences! Smooches, Sushi)

Shockingly, I've not used Photobooth on my own even once! (Almost all of the pictures are of Kumquat; that chickie likes to watch herself on the screen.)

on the road again

2011-06-08T00:12:00.001-06:00

I love roadtrips alone. Listening to whatever I want, stopping whenever I want. It is a relaxing, entertaining time.

A few weeks ago I drove down to Nevada to see my sisters and meet my darling new nephew, Noah. He is teeny tiny and so dang cute.
I wish I could've stayed for weeks rather than hours...I love playing with these boys.

2011-06-07T01:15:00.000-06:00

There is something amazing about a blue sky.

Sunday afternoon I propped open the double doors leading to the deck and enjoyed the sun soaking in, the fragrance of the tall lilac bushes wafting through the house...

Yum.

Can I pay you in biscuits?

2011-06-01T02:01:00.001-06:00

Ever wonder what it is like to be a hairstylist for about 10 hours a day, 5 days a week?

Very similar to this:

I get stressed out just watching this. It is painful.
I deal with this almost every single day.

I do not get paid enough to deal with the public.

Much cuddling to be had.

2011-05-28T22:06:00.001-06:00

Last night a friend of Kevin's told a story that ended with "[slight pause] and then we cuddled."
Oh man, I think that's the best way to end any story! "My client hated his haircut so much he yelled at me for ten minutes straight...and then we cuddled."

The comedic possibilities are virtually endless! (Especially when you are as easily amused as I am.)

I found a ten dollar bill on the sidewalk...and then we cuddled.

The homeless guy asked me for change but I only had my debit card...and then we cuddled.

----------

It turns out my 2-month-old niece likes to watch The Bachelorette; who knew?

Sweet Kumquat was asleep in her crib so I skimmed through my Netflix queue for something to watch while Meridith and Ben were at the movies. Ah dang, Netflix errored every time I clicked a title...ABC Player to the rescue!

Modern Family? Always good, but in the mood for something else.
Body of Proof? I really like this new show, but want something different.
The Bachelorette? Sheesh, not at all my usual but I have been left out of conversations at work because I haven't seen this season yet.

So I chose the least likely show, haha, not what I expected to be doing with my Saturday night.
As I reached over to start the show I heard sweet Kumquat's little squawk. Woohoo, she was awake! Sure, she was supposed to be sleeping, but babysitting 'Quat is way more fun when she is alert.

So little miss 'Quat and I watched The Bachelorette together and Kumquat was totally enthralled...ok, interested in the moving objects on the screen...I like to think she was as in to it as me. Kumquat probably thinks Tim and Anthony were obnoxious from the start. She just has to, she's a smart girl.

Q fell asleep on my shoulder
...and then we cuddled.

“Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.”

2011-05-23T22:16:00.000-06:00

After this coming weekend (payday) I will have just under $4,000 in savings. I will continue to save up for my vacation (to Turkey, Cyprus, Israel, Egypt and Italy) through about October...

I want to have an iPad for my trip.
I want to have entertainment for the flights (over 30 hours on a plane), I want to be able to journal my entire trip. I want my itinerary and information at my fingertips. Not to mention access to maps and directions while we are in Italy (ya know, as long as I find wi-fi.)

I bought a TV in 2006. It was just over $100.
I bought a camera last January. It was just over $100.

I have never spent more than $150 on ANYTHING, EVER.

I keep staring at this iPad...the single item in my cart...

OVER FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS
($640 if I want the 32GB)

I just can't pull the trigger on it yet.

Over five hundred dollars.
Sheesh.

I'd have to do 34 mens haircuts to pay for that. (Ahem, I'd have to have more than a few male clients who pay me to cut their hair.)

I'd have to get a decent tip from over 160 clients at work to pay for that.

Somehow I can feel OK with paying $4,500 for a vacation but appalled at paying $500 for an iPad. Maybe because I haven't actually paid for the vacation yet...or because it is broken down into smaller pieces: flight, cruise, hotel etc.

We meet again at last

2011-05-18T11:58:00.001-06:00

Today is a good day.
Its my day off, I'm going to lunch with my little sissy and my niece Kumquat, I'm going shopping for my big sissy's birthday present and...

My other big sissy is having a baby!

For those playing along at home that makes me an auntie 19 times over. (I'm looking forward to #20 this fall!)

"I've never heard anyone talk about their nieces and nephews as much as you do. Seriously. I mean, I have some, too...but I don't talk about them." - my co-worker

Growing up, I never was particularly close to any of my aunts or uncles (or cousins.) By the time I came around (I have five older siblings) almost all of them had children of their own.
When my sister-in-law Heidi had Brayden 15 years ago I was excited, of course, but unsure as to what my role is supposed to be. I'm not a parent, I'm not a sibling.

I've created my own job description for the role. My nieces and nephews are pretty much my favorite people.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

2011-05-17T00:32:00.000-06:00

Jamie: "What about him?"
Suannah: "Nah, not my type."
Jamie: "What is your type, then?"
Susannah: "Umm, kinda like...me."
Jamie: "Like you? Your type is you?"
Susannah: "Yeah, sure, why not? I get along well with me; I like to hang out with me."

I am two months away from turning 27-years-old. (I know, right? Where did the time go?)
And that makes me especially susceptible to comments from, oh, just about everyone and anyone. Several times a day customers ask me if I'm married, and when I tell them I'm not they try to reassure me with things like, "It'll happen in due time." and "Don't worry, hon. You will. Just keep reminding yourself you're worth it."

Oh heavens.

I don't want/need your pity, thanks.

I have an awesome career, fun hobbies, great friends, and I'm planning fabulous vacations. I'm not sitting around, mopey, bitter.

Last week I had a customer who chastised me for being single, haha. She told me I have to start putting myself out there because if I don't I will never get married. Then she proclaimed, "Do you understand? YOU WILL BE ALL ALONE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!"

Bwahahaha.

I love the phrase "put yourself out there." What does that even mean? It sounds like Jane Austen-y times when they present their daughter as being available to court.

My parents would tell me "put yourself out there" means I have to start being nice to guys. They are convinced I am rude to everyone around me. (Just because I, on occasion [ok, frequently], ask my father if I hurt his "widdow feewings" Hahahahaha.)

I realized

2011-05-13T01:51:00.000-06:00

(This is one of those things that is therapeutic enough just to write that I didn't think I'd publish. But here goes...)

Tall, quiet, awkward.

My elementary school years were not pleasant when other kids were involved. I had a few friends, sure, but I had a hard time with other kids.
I am quirky, I know that. I have always been taller than people my age (and taller than my 4th and 6th grade teachers.) I've always stood out. (The weird girl humming showtunes to herself.)

I was mocked, I was bullied. My very presence was cause for laughter. I hated being at school.

Being a full-figured, 5'7"+ 12-year-old (who looked 25), now with full-blown Social Anxiety Disorder, I became very introverted. My loud I-Don't-Care persona stood as a wall to keep people from provoking the very shy, sensitive me.

In 8th grade things began to change for the better. My ward friends brought me into their group of friends. I started to have guys as friends again for the first time in 5 years. (I started hanging out with Troy, Robby, Ryan, Jeremy, etc.) I was no longer automatically defensive, I had no need. These people liked *me*; quirks and faulty brain-to-mouth filter.

There was a moment where I thought "I can't wear something like that! Its...trendy! I'll get laughed at." I caught myself and realized Why not? Why can't I be honest about what I like? About who I am? Why do I feel I have to fit myself into the mold my peers have put me in?

A lightbulb moment. An Oprah "Aha! moment."

I realized I can be nice to people and they won't laugh in my face (probably.)
I realized I can have my opinions and they aren't automatically wrong.
I realized I don't have to be down on myself; I can have amazing self-esteem and no one is going to smash it anymore.
No one is going to laugh at me for attending a party where I was invited by obligation of a parent.

(The Aha! came with little relief of the but-it-*might*-happen that triggers the delightful physical symptoms of being a social phobic. I wouldn't go anywhere alone until I was almost 19.)

I know I probably still come off as arrogant, but I am just very protective of the shy, sensitive me.

One of my favorite memories is from 9th grade. I was late to the Halloween dance at school because I went through four costume changes, trying to find something I thought I wouldn't get laughed at for.
Resting on Sporty Spice attire, I slunk into the halls of my junior high, petrified I wouldn't someone who would befriend me.
I walked into the cafeteria and suddenly heard a chorus of "YOU'RE HERE!" "SUSAAAAAAANNNAAAAAAH!" "SUE IS HERE!" and "What took you so long?!"

Seven friends rushed to my side. Seven people from different groups of friends.

Happiness, acceptance, RELIEF washed over me.

I have to remind myself, because feelings to the contrary pop up, but...
I can be me. I can be silly, tall, obnoxious, and usually laughing for no reason...
I can like me. And I can realize others like that me.

Teehee

2011-05-11T00:40:00.002-06:00

I thrive on laughter. I want to tell you a story and I want you to laugh.

Laugh loud, laugh hard.

My facial expressions, my gestures, my chosen words are designed to make you laugh.

I need the laughter, it makes me happy.

The desire for my chuckle fix is so strong that I can't shut up. If something I'll say will make you laugh I will scour my mind for any story I can tell you.

...Did I tell you about that time a drag queen tried to sell me perfume out of the trunk of 'her' car in the middle of a gas station parking lot? At midnight? (On my way home from a really awkward date.)

Bingo

2011-05-10T11:35:00.000-06:00

Lady: "Wow, how can you cut it dry?"
Sus: "Umm..."
Lady: "When I cut it dry it looks terrible, not nearly as great as when you do it."
Sus: "I like to cut layers dry so I can see where they fall."
Lady: "Oh, that makes sense. ...and I didn't go to school for hair."
Sus, mentally: "Bingo."

----------

I enjoy fixing bad haircuts.

I find pleasure in knowing how to succeed where others have failed, hahaha. Thats kind of twisted, haha, but its true. I love seeing the solution in my head and seeing that I was right when it does indeed fix the issue.
I guess people don't really think of haircuts as problem solving, but I certainly do. "Short, but not too short. Not so it looks short. Its too long but I don't want it to look like I got a haircut." Double cowlick in the crown and a cowlick in the fringe? Certainly problem solving.

"I feel like I swallowed a medicine ball...and inside that medicine ball is a chemistry set."

2011-05-07T01:34:00.000-06:00

I love Man Vs Food on the Travel Channel more than I probably should.

Ok, lets be honest...
I love Man Vs Food's host Adam Richman more than I probably should.

Ahem...

What was I saying...? Lost my train of thought...
Ahem.

Thanks to Netflix Instant I can watch MvF at 2 a.m. while wasting time online.
I only had time for one episode today so I decided to watch the Utah episode. In one of the voice over spots Adam says something like, "its located in the heart of Salt Lake City" and this is what comes on the screen:

*double take*

Um...

That is not SLC. Park City, maybe, but certainly not "the heart of SLC." But, uh, nice try.

now my consolation is in the stardust of a song

2011-05-05T13:48:00.000-06:00

Nature or nurture?

I see so many of my quirks echoed in my siblings. I know I've come with my own idiosyncrasies but there are those things that have to have been instilled in me by my parents and my family.

I tear up during beautiful music.
I can't help it.
(I know some, if not all, of my siblings do too.)

Quiet slow pieces or big showstoppers, it doesn't matter. I get choked up.
There are a few pieces that I can listen to all day, this being one of them:

Theme from Sabrina, composed by John Williams (I love when the full orchestra joins the piano after 2:05.)

(...and don't get me started on the Yentl soundtrack. Sheesh.)

Predictions

2011-04-17T18:19:00.001-06:00

The "That can be my next tweet!" site entertains me. It entertains me a lot. It generates tweets for you by pulling words/phrases from current tweets.

Some of my favorites have been:

Just a trim. Really short... but maybe not bootyshorts.

A U2 concert is like prosthetic athletes foot. -Danny going to church.

Dad: Don't do that little Bens. Possible awkward situation is like a year...and a bit.

Lady turned into my work schedule. Lady turned into an entire haircut.

Sliced a ton off a huge purse. Ok? I usually excel at. Ugh. *achoo!* Am three hours early. Boo, hiss.

Oh Christopher Plummer, Robert Preston and my dream today. Just say you wanted it except my Netflix.

Hahaha, he was on a temper tantrum. Seriously. Oh how you and not the salon. You're awesome!

Sus: Thats when you'll meet the nearby burger place the day. Danny: Susannah, I haven't eaten since 6th!

I don't know if there is the Super Mario Bros like that short, skinny, whiny look if you are suffering?

Chris: I've saved $730 so its horrible! ...he looked fine, btw. Its horrible, I wish we kept the lowest!

No idea. Absolutely no way I'd spend money on Bones. No idea. Absolutely no guys over.

A truer prediction could not be made:

olfactory memories

2011-04-12T14:49:00.000-06:00

Moments after peeling off the lid of the Tupperware container I am hit with the smell that transports me 3,000 miles.

No longer am I sitting in my Utah kitchen in workout gear.

A plumeria sits in my hair over my left ear. Rubbery brown flip flops adorn my feet. An airy summer dress swishes at my knees.
I am in Hawaii. I am at the Dole Plantation, the PCC or breakfast at the beach.

Fresh ripe pineapple.

All shook up

2011-04-07T11:07:00.001-06:00

I like Utah because of the lack of tornado, flood, hurricane, volcanic eruption or tsunami threat.

However we are 20+ years past due for "the big one", an earthquake thought strong enough to smash the cities.
My mom and I were talking about how strongly we'd be effected by an earthquake and she said she didn't think we were near a fault line, I said I thought we lived on one.
So we asked Google.

See that solid line? Thats a fault line. Do you see our house smushed underneath that solid line? Because it is right there.

Which makes sense, really...we are sitting at the base of a mountain. This is the same area as that last picture, but more colorful:

(Hey look, it's George in the driveway!)

"Realistically, what are the odds that he's some extra-super, double-terrific guy?"

2011-04-03T12:59:00.001-06:00

I fell asleep sitting upright in a chair. I had been watching DVRed episodes of "Who Do You Think You Are?" and apparently didn't make it through Gwyneth Paltrow speculating about why her Great-Great Grandmother was a hoarder.

That really doesn't lead naturally into an extra fabulous day. I woke up stiff, pained. A cruel reminder I am getting older.
I will be 27-years-old this summer. That's so crazy. I'm not sure what I expected things to be like at 27 but I can guarantee it wasn't living with my parents, sleeping in the same bedroom I did at 8-years-old.

back to browsing

2011-03-30T01:01:00.000-06:00

I have 11 unfinished posts that are still marked draft. Oops.

My attention span is shortening.

(Which sounds like my entire attention is toward shortening/butter/fat. Which, lets me honest, works too.)

I am pretty sure there are no longer 24 hours in a day...more like 18. I'm pretty sure that the moment I fall asleep the world spins faster and suddenly my alarm is going off.
Dang, I'm tired.

As assistant manager I am required to be flexible with my schedule. And work 35-50 hours per week. And some of that has to be weekend nights. And be happy to do that. And do paperwork. Lots of meaningless paperwork.

So I am working a lot...and very little else. I hardly have time or the right schedule to do things with friends.

Its hard to be dependent on others for my transportation. Its obnoxious for me as well as those driving me around.
I miss George.
*sniff*

I got my official auto loan denied letter this week. Hmmmm, looks like I'm be a mooch for a while longer.
Which is probably all for the better; I don't know what kind of car I want. I'll mourn George's death longer...can't replace him too soon.

The arrival of the Kumquat

2011-03-10T20:55:00.001-07:00

My baby sister had a baby. I know, right?!

I haven't seen her in person yet (because she was in the NICU, and I wasn't on the Allowed People list.) but I'm excited to meet her. I am so ready to spoil her.

I've called her Kumquat since she was the size of a lemon or peach or banana...something like that. I was gently mocking Meridith's iPhone app that tracks the size of the fetus via fruit. (Related: I call Deborah's lil baby "Blueberry")

I'm pretty sure the name is going to stick.

Best day ever

2011-02-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

I love Valentine's Day in general and today was no different.

Not that anything spectacular happened...it was pretty normal: I got up at 7:30, was at work by 8:40, worked until about 4 and headed home.

Oh Valentine's Day, you make me so jolly.

I had this on repeat everytime I was in the car:

(This song, turned up really loud, is perfect dance-in-the-car music. I love Hanson.)

And I bought a hyacinth for each coworker coming in today. And then AaronP brought me a rose when he came over to fix George for me (dead battery), and Chelsey&Megan brought me a Valentine. And I did Michelle's haircolor.

And there was a guy walking down State Street with a bouqet in each hand (for mom and girlfriend?), and there was a guy dressed in an ape suit holding a sign that said something like Kyle loves Shauna (names changed because I totally can't remember them.) I love it.

And the cups stuck in the chain link fence on the overpass on University Pkwy didn't spell out someones name, like usual. Nope, today the fence said, " 'ello Govna" which made me laugh SO HARD when I passed it.

I am the most easily pleased/entertained person.

Very irrésistible

2011-01-22T22:58:00.001-07:00

Accidentally left my cell phone on my bed all day and came home to several missed texts, my favorite of which was from Matthew:

"My sweater still smells like your perfume...Not that that's a bad thing...Having my sweater smell like a girl is a new experience for me."

Hahahaha

Pugnacious

2011-01-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being told I'm combative or argumentative when I'm just trying to express my opinion.

My father doesn't like any sort of contention. My mother thinks emotionally rather than rationally. However, I think rationally and stir up contention. (Yeah. Imagine just how fun it is for me to try to be understood around here.)

The most frustrating thing ever is being in a conversation/argument and feeling like you're not being understood or listened to.
My mother is master of the eye roll/chuckle combination that drives me batty. My father is notorious for the "alright, alright, enough!" hand wave that signifies he has checked out, no further argument will be heard, you've lost.

Why I'm hurt after arguments is rarely because the subject at hand, but ecause of the way I'm treated.

My fathers medium is guilt trips, my mother uses absolutes (you never, I always)
And if I disagree I'm labeled combative.
Not to insinuate I'm by any means perfect...I certainly have an I'm Always Right complex (because, come on, usually I am.)

But again, its rarely about the actual subject of the disagreement, its the way I'm treated during that really hits me.

I'm loud and brash on the outside, really shy and sensitive inside. (I have walls, façades, defensives built up since being teased, taunted and bullied in school from ages 7-13...but thats a whole nother post.)
I have neer been good at communicating my feelings, especially verbally.
I recall once when I was about 11 my mom got mad at me about something and, while sobbing in my bedroom, I wrote her a letter about what she'd perceived had gone on, what I felt actually happened, and why I was so sad she yelled at me.
I gathered enough composure to bring her the note. She read it and laughed. I can see now why she would've laughed at being delivered this note, I'd have laughed if I were in her position. But those chuckles made me cry harder. I felt I just wouldn't be taken seriously.

Anyway...just my thoughts after a frustrating morning of feeling guilted and then told I was arguing (when I wasn't. I was clarifying why I was saying what I was saying.)

summertime and the living is easy...

2011-01-13T08:39:00.001-07:00

...fish are jumping and cotton is high. Your daddy's rich and your ma is good lookin', so hush little baby don't you cry.

---

I have a very cushy life. A very nice, easy life.

Before I gripe about anything I have to acknowledge that I really have nothing to complain about. I have a full education on the subject of my choosing. I am using that education in a career I enjoy, even advancing in that career. I have no credit card debt. I have no health issues (other than a midly annoying residual cough from my cold.) I have a [huge] supportive, loving family. I have no drama in my life.

I wake up in a huge bed in my warm bedroom (in a house that is paid for and has no chance of being ripped out from under me.) I go to work where I have a good relationship with all my coworkers and management. I come home to loving parents. I put away extra cash in a jar on dresser in the hopes of sending myself on a Mediterranean cruise this fall. I work on personal clients in a large bathroom that my parents have been very helpful in setting up for me. I go to sleep in my huge bed, ready to do it again the next day.

I am mostly stress-free because of the actions of other people, and I completely realize that.

Now that I've said that I can get back to griping about the dumb, annoying people I encounter everyday! ;)

Cute

2011-01-10T02:22:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite pictures: my parents slow dancing in the kitchen.

In Review: 2010

2010-12-14T03:00:00.001-07:00

I've sucked at keeping up-to-date, I know. Usually for my review I can peruse my posts, however this year I had to use Twitter and FB. Sheesh.

Super long and image-heavy. Thats a warning.

January--

* Needed a change. So, uh, I dyed my bangs pink.

* Bought my new camera, A Canon Powershot SD1200. Awwwww, it was love at first sight.

* Went to a pirate-themed restaurant for my friends birthday party. It was hilariously fun.

* Dropped a 400+ degree curling iron on my décolletage. Ouch.

* Went to Erin's birthday party in downtown SLC. So fun!

* Met Ben Lyons and took Ryan's picture with Paris Hilton in Park City during the Sundance Film Festival.

* Went on a road trip to Las Vegas with Ryan. Got to spend time with my sisters family!!!

I miss being with these girls every day. :(

February--

* Transferred from the Sandy location to the Provo salon, saving me a lot of gas money.

* Worked my behind off on the treadmill, lost 17.5 lbs during February.

* Got to watch my darling little niece be blessed. Oh Madilyn, SO CUTE!

March--

* Juggled both salons, loving the tips in Sandy but hating the drive.

* Hosted many movie nights with friends.

* Dreamed I pulled big leaves of cabbage and broccoli stalks out of a wound in my abdomen. (Time to lay off the veggies?)

* Did my own taxes for the first time.

* Went to a ward activity during which we had a pinewood derby (which we won with Chris's recycled car)

Our St. Peepentine's Day Massacre cake

* My big sisters came to town!!! Yay! Got to play with my nieces.

April--

* Listened to old reel-to-reel tapes of my parents in the late 1960s. Couldn't help crying when I heard my Grandpa's voice for the very first time.

* Grandma dreamed I married a man named Philmino. She suggested I look in the phonebook...

* Got really sick. Was probably a cold, but I claimed Swine Flu, because come on, its a funny name.

* Celebrated my little nieces 1st birthday. Oh Grace, you crack me up.

* Went on my first business trip! :D (Well, first for my business.) Flew to Las Vegas to go to a beauty convention. Got to spend time with my big sister and her family.

* Spent the day with Elizabeth, Richard, and Deborah's families in Mesquite and St. George.

* Met Nick Arrojo at the hair show.

May--

* I worked at the salon a lot and worked out a lot. My jawline made an appearance for a little while there.

* Got very into looking up genealogy. Found some funny stuff like a distant cousin named Utahnah.

* Hosted a fondue party, which turned out well and was so fun!

* Flew to Las Vegas to for a week as FauxMama while my sister and brother-in-law went to NYC. I went to school programs, assemblies, and preschool graduations.

* We did a lot of shopping.

* We went swimming at Ashley's house.

* We celebrated the last day of school with root beer floats.

5-year-old, Luke: "Emma and me weren't alive when Caroline was a baby. Was Jesus still not done making us?"
Luke trying to understand texts: "Uh, so does the paper envelope fly through the universe then come back to the world?"

* I made the most perfect chocolate chip cookie EVER.

* After my siblings got back in town I went out with Ashley and Annyong.

* Went on vacation with my entire family

June--

* We played in the ocean

* Visited the Mormon Battalion Museum

* Went to Sea World

...went on rollercoasters

...and sat in the Splash Zone during the Shamu show

* Played on the beach

* Got sunburned

* Went to a Padres v. Mets game all together

I sat by my big brother, Aaron (We are very look-alike-ish in this pic.)

(Got even more sunburned. Ouch.)

* Went swimming all together.

* Went to museums and had silly fun with my nieces and nephews

* Went to dinner as an entire family. All 32 of us.

* Drove back to Orem with Meridith and Ben.

* Played with my nieces while my parents, Meridith, Ben, Aliesha, and Clarke were in the Philipines on a random vacation.

* Participated in my wards Summer SuperActivity

went boating

was Ginger Spice in a lip sync

July--

* Got locked out of the house for 3 hours.

* Worked a lot.

* Ran around in the rain during a sudden intense rainstorm, got totally soaked. So dang fun.

* Watched a few neighbor kids walking down the street dressed as cowboy, a hippie, SpongeBob SquarePants and a watermelon slice. Pure awesome.

* Suddenly had no cell phone for a few weeks. Felt so nekkid.

* Had a fun evening with Rachel and Katrina. Went to the Planetarium and the Cheesecake Factory, was sung to for an early bday celebration.

* Worked a lot.

* Had a shared birthday party with Celeste.

* Turned 26-years-old.

August--

* Had a crazy dream wherein I was chased through a museum, tried to get my familys attention during an orchestra concert, and found a death threat on my car...which wasn't my car.

* Used some needle-nose pliers...then they used me. Accidentally ripped my finger open and pulled off flesh on the pad of my finger with the wire-stripper part of the pliers. (The picture is a day or two later, partially healed...its hard to see the part of the flesh that was only torn back, not ripped off.)

* Woke up with a slightly painful hip. Looked in the mirror and noticed a deep-set impression of my remote control in my hip flesh. Fell over laughing. Really.

* Brought my lil niece Caroline to see the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in concert with Rachel and her sister.

* Sat on the porch with Deborah, Aaron and Caroline until after midnight to watch the meteor shower. It was really fun.

* Stayed up until 2 a.m. with Caroline to continue watching the meteor shower. We laid out blankets on the SportCourt and pointed out each falling star. So fun!

* Went to Lagoon with my singles ward and Elizabeth, Jayar, Suzanne, Richard and their families.

It poured for the first hour or two. Plastic bag ponchos are the great equalizer.
Then the weather became PERFECT!

Got kicked off a ride because the restraint wouldn't close over my huge chest. Oy vey.

* Had a family reunion with my siblings, aunts, uncles, and a handful of cousins for my Grandma's birthday.

* Went to the home of a family friend (old neighbor of my grandparents) where is housed a ginormous collection of random old stuff. Oh how I loved it.

* Got to play with my siblings!!!

* Got a new drivers license. It is a horrible picture. I look drunk.
[picture unavailable]

* Took my car, George V Dubya, in to be fixed. Being car-less is no fun.

* Bought a hydraulic chair for my home salon. :D :D :D

* Played SuperMario Bros for Wii for the first time. Nostalgic and lovely. I would really really like to own it.

September--

* Went to the Storytelling Festival with some friends. Fun to be with friends, but bo-ring storytelling.

* Got completely out of credit card debt! Now the only money I owe is to my parents.

* Went on a roadtrip! St George! with Amy, Aubrey, Rachel, Danny, Chris, Kevin, Celeste, Brittany and Hannah. (Aaron couldn't go with us, he was replaced with a Big Hunk bar.)

* Met a Little Person. Suggested he has many Halloween costume options (R2D2) because oh my gosh, I have no tact.

* Badly cut my finger up in two places. Because I'm just that good. Bled through 7 Band-Aids.

* Went to the Beauty & the Beast sing-a-long with Brittany. Did her hair for her Belle costume. :)

* Saw Hanson in concert in SLC with Aaron! Had so much fun.

October--

* Gave myself full bangs.

* Had a lot of explosions in my dreams, huge fireballs; like my brain was being directed by Michael Bay.

* Made it through my first corporate review. Was so nervous, but it turned out OK.

* Went to Las Vegas to surprise Caroline on her birthday. Was a lot of fun.

* Worked a lot.

* Had a lot of movie nights with friends. Fell asleep during a movie then apparently said, "I'm tired like a candle...but just the top, just the wick part."

* Got George back!!!

* Helped plan/set up/host the ward Halloween party. Dressed kind of like Ursula the Sea Witch...but a toned down version.

November--

* Worked a lot.

* Took advantage of my new Netflix account by watching entire seasons of several shows including Lie To Me, The IT Crowd, Bones, NewsRadio and others.

* Went clothes shopping with my manager and salon owner to get an outfit for the fashion show I'd been asked to model in. Lesson learned: JC Penny and Khol's are not places for a girl with any sort of curve to her if she has any sense of fashion.

* Went to the Harry Potter midnight showing with a bunch of friends. So fun.

* Received notice for prospective jury duty! Huzzah!

* Introduced Ghostbusters to some friends, none of whom enjoyed it. Crazy, crazy children.

* Thanksgiving happened. I invited Kevin to join us as he had nowhere to celebrate. Went to the movies with a bunch of siblings and nieces and nephews. Fun, fun.

December--

* Was offered a promotion to be Assistant Manager of the salon. (Accepted, but the higher-ups have to watch my numbers until January before I can get the job.)

...And that has been my year so far.

Here comes Susie Claus

2010-12-11T22:16:00.024-07:00

Today I bought pajama pants for my brother-in-law.
I'm not worried that he'll find out because he never ever reads this and if anyone tells him about his gift they are Christmas-hating Grinches and should be called out as such.

The pajama pants are important because they are the first Christmas purchase that has actually felt Christmasy.

Hallelujah!

Every year I try to find a gift for everyone in my family, but it is looking to just be a bit too much for me this year. I have 3 brothers, 3 sisters, 3 brothers-in-law, 3 sisters, my parents, my grandma, 17 nieces/nephews, and two little fetuses on my shopping list. (And thats before I even start thinking about getting things for my friends.)

That is 32 people! That is a lot of people!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. My love language is gift giving. This is my time of year. I love finding gifts for people!
But because I'm not getting a gift for everyone this year it has been really hard to get into the Christmas mood. Tree is up, music is playing, but something was missing. I haven't wrapped a single gift so far this year.

Instead of drawing names for gifts this year we have a sibling to whom we've been assigned to write a note. Gah! I'm not a love letter writer. I can't express myself well through writing! The very idea of having to write an appreciation letter to my brother-in-law stresses me out! Gah! ...hence the pajama pants.

Abed the vampire

2010-12-07T15:46:00.004-07:00

2010 Christmas Wishlist

2010-12-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm sure more will be added...

When I got on the scale today

2010-11-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

I have gained 26 lbs since the end of March, which means I am up 4 lbs. from my total in February, as I lost 22 between beginning of February and the end of March.

This morning I was 6 lbs more than I am at this moment.

And that, dear friend, is why I don't let the numbers dictate.

Yes, please!

2010-11-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

My big sister has asked me to update more often.

So, uh, this is exactly what I'm thinking about right now...

I [heart] Rob Riggle.

You Save: $0.19

2010-11-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

Really, Amazon? These are the awesome Black Friday deals? A whopping nineteen cents savings? Uh...

You're a meanie.

2010-11-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

I always have a lot of friends, I enjoy being surrounded by people I enjoy. One of my favorite things is playing games with friends, and the hilarious conversations that happen.

---
Erin: "Claus the Saint will rise again."
---
Jon: "Whoever wrote the Spanish on these cards doesn't know Spanish."
Chris: "These are Italian, by the way."
---
Matt: "Yeah! Way to have an unrefined palate!"
---
Sus: "Always take the beer." (a card in the game)
---
Matt: "I am adorable."
---
Sus: "As long as you bless me with some bullets."
---
Matt: "You're a meanie."
---
Sus: "Pop goes the weasel? I mean, what the crap?!"
---
Megan: "Susannah, I really wanted you to die, no offense...but I did."
---
Joey: "I want another eye."
Sus: "Did you say want or need? Serious question."
---
Megan: "Wait, you guys are brothers?! Since when?!"
---
Erin: "Don't laugh at my insanity."
Chris: "We just did."
---
Matt: "Chris, face it: you're a hot item. On Black Friday someones gonna pick you up."
Sus: "Yeah, 40% off with free shipping."
---
Chris: "I don't want to be gay, but it sounds like fun...stupid Skittles."
Sus: "He has tasted the rainbow, indeed."
---
Sus: "Are you completely boring when you are with boring people?"

As long as he needs me

2010-11-08T23:42:00.001-07:00

I'm watching Oliver! on Netflix.

This is one of the movies I grew up watching but never quite understood. I never actually had the attention span to watch the entire thing; I mostly just skipped around to my favorite songs.

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD! What wouldn't we give for that extra bit more--thats all that we live for. Why should we be fated to do nothing but brood on food, magical food, wonderful food, marvelous food, heavenly food, glooooooorrrriiiiooooouuuuuus food!

Oliver reminds me of my little nephew, Hyrum. So cute and sweet with that baby face and that voice. Oh goodness, I miss that kid. I don't get to see him until Christmas. :(

Hahaha, Bill Sikes is pulling treasures out of his shirt, it reminds me of yesterday: I was leaving the house with my hands full of a huge salad bowl as well as three bags of rolls for Break The Fast and I was trying to hold a stick of butter as well. I shoved it in my shirt. Like always. My mother proclaimed, "No! Take it out! It doesn't go there!" I told her it is where I put everything, it is my extra hand/extra pocket, "it is where everything goes." She replied, "Not butter." Hahaha, I love it.

Erin sent a text inviting me to a fireside viewing/game night at her house. I was going to hang around my house because Meridith was over. After Aaron's calling to tell me I should come to Erin's, Ben's nasty stories of placenta lasagna and other placenta recipes, and my mother wanting me to listen to a talk about finding a mate, oh gosh...I left for Erin's house.
Chris brought Bang (which I learned to play last week) but Erin had Balderdash and I so rarely get to play Balderdash, so I requested we play that. I love Balderdash because of my brothers. I have hilarious siblings so every game of Balderdash turns into us all laughing until tears are streaming.

---

Ah dang, its time for my other favorite song. This song slays me. SLAYS ME!

Nancy stays with Bill because she loves him and is convinced he loves her, too, despite beating her and being a complete jerk. So she sings this horrible, horrible song about how she will stay with him as long as he needs her. NO, NO, NO, NANCY!!! He is going to KILL YOU! He is going to KILL YOU! You will be DEAD before the final credits roll!!!
Oh, Nancy.

I love this song so very much.

As long as he needs me,
I know where I must be;
I'll cling on steadfastly
As long as he needs me.

As long as life is long,
I'll love him right or wrong,
And somehow, I'll be strong
As long as he needs me.

If you are lonely
Then you will know
When someone needs you,
You love them so.

I won't betray his trust,
Though people say I must.
I've got to stay true just
As long as he needs me.

uh...yeah... I hate this movie.

Snooze button

2010-11-06T03:16:00.000-06:00

I've seriously considered trying to write up my daily happenings rather than trying to post stories. I considered it right up until I realized they would look like this:

Monday:
Hit snooze about seven times. Walked into a wall. Cut my knuckle while doing a haircut. Fell asleep watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Tuesday:
Hit snooze about four times. Walked into a door frame. Cut the underside of my pointer finger. Fell asleep watching The Rocketeer.

Wednesday:
Slept through my alarm. Smacked my head on car door frame. Cut my pinkie (how did THAT happen?!) Fell asleep watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Thursday:
Realized I didn't set an alarm. Fell down the stairs. Five minutes late for work. Ripped fingernail past the nailbed. Fell asleep watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Friday:
Hit snooze twice. Walked into a door frame. Cut open the scab on my knuckle while doing a haircut. Fell asleep watching The Fifth Element.

Kind of a bad day

2010-10-28T08:19:00.000-06:00

Just a little chat

2010-10-24T22:32:00.000-06:00

There was a time (*cough*2004-2008*cough*) when I mostly corresponded with people via IM. Oh, those were the good days. That was before I had texting on my phone.

I love IM because some of the funniest quotes come out. Oh gosh, so dang funny.

---

Andria: "Did I mention I am writing a romance novel?"

---

Susannah: "I am planning on moving into a cave deep in a canyon somewhere."
Ashley: "How would you be able to do peoples hair in a cave?"
Susannah: "I wouldn't need to because I wouldn't need money. I could just hang out all day. Naked if I wanted to.

---

Ashley: "Every now and then you have to take one for the team and watch a movie simply because your friends like it."
Susannah: "Especially if that friend is ME because I get my way."

---

Daryn: "We should have kissed!"
Susannah: "Would've made my interesting night a tad more interesting."
Daryn: "It was interesting? How so? We reeeeeally should have kissed."
Susannah: "My night was interesting in that I shared a cab with a drunk Polish guy who was covered in blood and was telling me, 'Don't worry, I didn't kill anybody.'"

---

Elizabeth: "Hey, whats up?"
Susannah: "I have no brain function today, Liz."
Elizabeth: "You are on your honeymoon after all..."
Susannah: "My wedding day sucked."

---

Susannah: "Its Teen Pregnancy Month."
Sarah: "I know, my kids made me a card."

---

Susannah: "Why do you think I've never posted a full body shot? This dang peg leg has always been a burden socially."
Travis: "I'll bet. Can you take it off?"
Susannah: "Yeah, but then I have to lean on things for support. Buildings...cars..."

---

Susannah: "I'm not a small girl. I could step on an Olsen twin and commit homocide."

Vanity searching

2010-10-19T23:03:00.001-06:00

I enjoy watching The Next Iron Chef. I especially enjoy watching one specific chef:

(He is 6'4"...yes, please!)

Oh, but I saw his first "talking head" interview... annoying raspy Texan voice. Oh. Uh. No thanks.

Oh, well, this was a little embarrassing.

Fifth scale

2010-10-11T11:51:00.000-06:00

Sitting in a business meeting between my dad and my big sister, it is all going over my head.

Seventh diminished chord something something blah blah blah. I have no idea what it all means. I am not musical. Sure, I can squawk my way through a cello piece, pick out the fingering of the right hand of a piano song with no sharps or flats (C key signature? Something like that.) but I have no idea what's going on when it comes to music theory or even, ya know, the names of the notes, hahahaha. I just play by ear.

My father is well-known in the LDS music community, my sisters are all great pianists, and each of my siblings can rock their respective instruments (bass, violin, cello, bass, viola, and both violin & viola.) So it is supposed that I will be amazing musically. Or, at the very least, know what in the world is going on, hahaha.

No known picture

2010-09-07T17:27:00.002-06:00

I have never been able to find a picture of my Greatx5 Grandmother online before. I've seen it written that there are "no known pictures" of her.
While going through some boxes I came across a manila envelope my mother gave me about 15 years ago. I pulled out the envelopes contents and noticed this black & white picture on the top of the first page:

Susannah Susan Young
sister of Brigham Young

b: Jun. 7, 1795
Hopkinton
Middlesex County
Massachusetts, USA


d:	May 5, 1852 Salt Lake City Salt Lake County Utah, USA

Productivity bonus

2010-08-29T14:58:00.002-06:00

Oh wow.

I am not good with change. Or making decisions, really. Or stressful situations in general.

I've got a few important kinda life-changing decisions to make.
I am unhappy in my job right now. They (corporate) have made it feel like we are 5-year-olds who need to be scolded for every little thing not done to their exact specifications. I dread going to work. I find myself RELIEVED to have a day off. I'm sick of getting threats of my hours being cut if I can't speed up my haircut time by 90 seconds. I'm going crazy.

So there you go.

I've made the decision to put more of an emphasis on doing my own clientele at home.
I sacrificed what would go into my Italy Cruse Jar this week and purchased a used hydraulic chair. I'm really excited about that purchase. It helps me feel better about bringing clients into my home. Hallelujah!
I told my manager that I need more structure in my schedule. I need to work three of the salons busiest days. I need the same days off every week so I can plan ahead with clients. My manager said she isn't sure she can promise that but we can give it a try for a little while. It won't start until the third week of September, but it'll happen.

I don't know if willingly cutting down my steady paycheck will end up being a horrible idea or the best move for my career.

Oh stress.
Oh stressful.
...I need ice cream.

2010-08-22T15:30:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I decided it would be a great plan to ride my bike to work. A little exercise, gas money saved, no need to get George fixed. A win!
I measured the distance, just over 5 miles, walked the beginning of the trail with my mom, then we drove there while watching where the trail crosses streets and goes over bridges.

I was now prepared. It was bike riding time!

I decided to do a test run, get my sea legs...err, pedal legs.
I grabbed my inhaler, sucked it down and ran out the door.
A mile and a half later I threw my bike to the side, pulled myself through the door, and was ready to collapse onthe couch in the basement.
I took one step on the staircase and my quads gave out, having already given all their strength. I struggled to grab onto the banister as I tumbled down the stairs.

As a result of that day my bike has become dust-covered once again and my tailbone has inflicted immense pain every day.
(I would not suggest going on rollercoasters if you have a messed up tailbone unless you enjoy finding it excruciating to get ou of bed the next morning.)

"I don't kid about quiche." - Casey, Chuck s1e2

2010-08-17T01:59:00.002-06:00

My clothing is still a little damp.

I smell like chlorine.
It is appealing as well as repulsive.

Our YSA FHE was scheduled to be boating on Deer Creek at 5 pm. Around 4 I texted a few friends, trying to figure out if anyone was going, if it was worth leaving my sisters, nieces and nephews.
Several people responded "it was cancelled"
Oh.
Huh.

Relieved, I settled in to play with my family. Deborah was using up last night's shredded pork, making a few enchilada casseroles as well as something I've fallen deeply, deeply in love with: "Orange rice"

Dear Orange Rice,
Hi. Ummmm, I never do this, so I'm not sure exactly what to say. I think we really have something and I'd like to pursue it further.
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!
Susannah

Picture this: aromatic minced garlic sizzling in a pan with slowly melting butter. The pulp from intensely shredded carrots added to the buttery garlic. A salty chicken base (bouillon) stirred into broth. Rice added and left to fluff up into a garlicy melt-in-your-mouth experience.

Excuse me as I wipe drool off my chin, keyboard and desk.

Ahem,
Where was I?

Oh, right. Deborah was making dinner.

Suddenly my phone called out "Now thats what I'm talking about! That was amazing! I mean you, I mean...I ca...Iba...chicada...hiy...I'M BUYING YOU A PIZZA." AaronP's ringtone.

Aaron let me know that instead of boating for FHE we were now swimming. Uh...
I responded, "As much as I love public partial-nudity, I think I'm going to skip it."

After about an hour I decided that I really should attend. Activities Committee Member Guilt, I call it. I scoured my drawers for my least-revealing swimsuit and came up with a deep V-neck suit. It'd have to do. I pulled a cover-up dress over it, for good measure. :)

When I got to the house I didn't recognize any of the cars so I texted Aaron again. "Still there?"
My S.A.D. is far better than it has ever been, but I will still do anything I can to avoid being in a group of not-friends if at all possible.
A car pulled up while I was still in my car. A guy got out and walked toward the house. Jason from Payson! Woohoo! Jason and I aren't really friends, I suppose. I think the most we've spoken was yesterday when I asked if its ok if I just call him Payson, he said yeah, that'd be ok. But it was a familiar face and that is all I was concerned with.

By the end it was Brittany, Christina, Cherilee, Kevin, Josh, Celeste, and me in the pool. (Aaron left a few minutes after I finally actually got in the pool.)
Celeste announced she was going to Macey's to get ice cream. I asked if I could come with her, and then I told Kevin and Aaron (via text) to come with us. I threw on a maxi dress over my wet swimsuit and jumped in the car with Celeste, Brittany, and Cherilee. After meeting up with the guys and getting our ice cream (well, raspberry frozen yogurt for me) we gathered at Celeste's to continue our Monday night marathon of Chuck; Chris and Danny joined us.

After one episode (season 1, episode 2) I decided I had to get home because I'd promised Caroline I would cut her hair tonight. Kevin volunteered to drive me home even though I live about five houses from Celeste. (Large houses. With wide yards.)

After cutting Care's hair and doing a prep cut on Emma Kate (I forgot to bring home my thinning shears and razor...I'll stack her newly-cut bob tomorrow) I am introducing Caroline to Psych (because everyone should love Shawn Spencer. Everyone. [Shawn is Exhibit A as to why scruff is GOOD. I <3 scruff.])

the Italy jar

2010-07-29T23:30:00.001-06:00

Next fall I am taking myself on vacation. I'm not talking the driving-to-Southern-Utah sort of vacation, I'm talking the THIS WILL COST ME THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS! sort of vacation.

I am taking myself to Italy.

I know, right?!

It started out as me wondering about a cruise my friend Reba was going to go on (or, uh, did go on. I assume she already went. We don't talk that often, haha.) So that started me Googling various cruises that I could convince my friends to go on with me.
I saw a cruise to the Eastern Mediterranean that I really thought would be fun. I figured there was no way I'd be able to go, nor get anyone else to go with me, but hey...it was fun to think about.

A few nights ago, while sitting at the dinner table with my parents, we got chatting about various trips we've taken and how I have become cultured and have really gotten to see some awesome things. My parents started talking about how much they loved their trips to Israel and Egypt and more recently to Italy. I remembered the cruise I'd been interested in and showed them the website I'd bookmarked. They got very animated (especially my dad) and told me "Susie, you have to go!" Oh...ok...uh...I will, then.

With the unexpected encouragement I became more excited about the idea of this trip. I worked out the financial particulars -- after listing the suspected costs for things I have come to the conclusion that it should cost me around $4,000 on the high end. If I save my tips plus about $100 from each paycheck I should have around $7,000 saved! Woohoo!

I started a jar. It is labeled "Italy cruise jar" as uh, thats what it is.
I have just over $100 saved so far. Yay. I have like 65 weeks left to save up, so, uh, I think I'll do OK.

----------

Ok, so thats the excitement. But it comes with a realization: Oh holy crap, I'm that age/person. I'm taking myself on a freaking 2+ week vacation!
I'm sending myself away to discover the architecture of Rome, explore the pyramids of Egypt, to wander the roads of Jerusalem, to visit the...what does Cyprus and Turkey have?

I don't know. It just feels so... I don't know. Under The Tuscan Sun-ish? Eat, Pray, Love-ish? Heck, lets throw in My Life In Ruins-ish. (Ok, so those are romantic comedies. My life is more of an ...awkward/embarrassing comedy?)

When did I get old enough to be/do this?
I don't know, but I'm completely excited.

----------

Today is my 26th birthday

2010-07-25T03:45:00.000-06:00

...crazy.

And so a Bucket List forms...

2010-07-20T11:51:00.002-06:00

* See a shuttle launch
* See Titanic artifacts
* Be a part of a flash mob
* Reread all of the Nancy Drew books
* Overcome a fear (heights, people in costume, etc)
* Visit as many small community museums I can find
* Fly first class
* Fly in a helicopter
* Go whale-watching
* Buy a star from those cheesy companies, name it after myself
* Visit 4 Corners
* Go out to dinner in full formal wear
* Plan and execute a large dinner party
* Go the the taping of a favorite show
* Visit every continent (except Antarctica)
* Visit my ancestors' birthplaces (Sweden, etc)
* Go on a trip alone
* Be on a jury (hopefully an awesome one. SEQUESTERED!)
* Be a seat-filler at an awards show
* Ride a scooter around a Hawaiian island
* Learn German (conversationally fluent, not just the random phrases I've got down now. "Ich kann nicht schlafen. Ist es schlimm?" I can't sleep. Is it serious?)
* Go to Oktoberfest in Munich
* See the pyramids in Egypt
* Explore Rome, only after learning all about the history
* Explore Greece
* Drive Route 66
* Roadtrip across the US, stopping at the places featured on Food Network shows
* Visit Graceland
* Visit the Mütter Museum, and be aptly creeped out
* Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in person
* Act in a community play/musical
* Write a novel
* Introduce someone else to my favorite places from past vacations, including:

Tintern Abbey in Monmouthshire, Wales

Neuschwanstein Castle in Füssen, Germany

The beaches of St. John in the Virgin Islands

The Louvre in Paris, France

Warwick Castle in Warwickshire, England

Smithsonian Museums/National Mall in Washington DC

Independence Hall in Philadelphia, PA

Monticello in Charlottesville, VA

Dating advice from the playground

2010-07-19T23:04:00.001-06:00

     One night while on vacation in San Diego this summer, I sat on the balcony of our hotel room with my 11-year-old nieces (Abigail and Caroline) and my 5-year-old nephew (Luke) and we chatted until well past their bedtimes.

     The girls are going into middle school this fall, so they were asking me for advice on things like How do you deal with bullies? They are so cute and I can't believe they are already old enough to be in middle school. Thats crazy talk.
     I asked them how this past year had gone in school. I asked about their friends, favorite subjects, and their crushes. Abigail told me all about the boy from down the street, with whom she regularly gchats. (Haha, I love that.) Caroline told me about the boy she likes, although she was very reluctant to divulge any details. (I love how different Abby and Care are -- Abs is so blunt while CareBear is shy.)
     Luke told me all about Paisley, a girl at his preschool. I asked Lukie what it was about Paisley that caught his eye. He did a little chuckle and quietly said, "She smiled at me." SO DANG CUTE!

Little Lukie, ever the sage, proclaimed to his sister, cousin, and aunt:

"If you like a boy just be nice to him!"

Oh... why didn't we think of that?

----------

Isn't he just one of the cutest little guys ever?!

Good intentions

2010-07-15T13:43:00.000-06:00

I mean well, I really do.

I am starting the process (uh, again) of revamping my bedroom. Somehow I'm gonna make this work.

I am not an organized person. Oh, wow, that needs more emphasis...lets see here...

I AM NOT AN ORGANIZED PERSON.

...thats better

So it takes an actual conscious thought process for me to keep things neat.

I guess we'll see how it goes.

Platypus the turtle

2010-07-14T02:10:00.000-06:00

I have found that I have an intense love of accessories. Jewelry, specifically.

I am not a dainty person by any stretch of the imagination, so the typical stud earring and delicate necklace combination just doesn't work for me. It makes my features seem HUGE. ("I love that tiny soap they give you. I pretend its normal soap and my muscles are huge." - Jerry Seinfeld)

So I have come to appreciate large statement-making pieces that could overwhelm a smaller person than myself.

I recently named my owl necklace. Yeah, ok, thats weird, but I was in the car with The Honeyman, and...yeah...thats pretty much all I need to say. I have a turtle necklace that I named Platypus (Honeyman suggested I name him Terry...), so I needed to name my owl. I named him Winston.

This is Winston up-close.

Oh come on

2010-07-13T13:35:00.000-06:00

I am often shocked by people. Several times when I'm out with people I'll think, "Are you kidding me?" because of something one of my acquaintances does.

I will be the first to tell you, I am not the sweetest person. I definitely speak before I think. I say a lot of stupid things. Especially in family situations. I still have the reputation of 13-year-old Susannah, hands on hips, telling everyone to MOVE IT! when they get in my way.

But I will never do some of the things I see. Small, tame example: unless I am trying to bug my nephew Luke, I would never walk up to someone and eat off their plate, out of their hand, or whatever, competely univited. That annoys me. It isn't the food, it is the sudden intrusion into my world, my bubble.

Aw crap.

2010-07-12T10:05:00.000-06:00

My little piece of the internet was lovely in that no one knew about it, so I could write whatever I wanted and never had to worry about censoring myself in fear of hurting someones feelings (or because my nieces and nephews may see it, haha.)

But now...
aw crap.

They know. They knoooooooooow

So I am very torn. Do I hold it all in, or do I risk it?

Get me out of here

2010-07-05T04:31:00.000-06:00

I was complaining to a friend that I was disappointed I had to work tomorrow, during the parade. Oh wah. I have a job. I have a decent (meh.) steady paycheck for doing something I love.

So let me just say this: I am grateful I have my job. I'm grateful that I get to do the thing I love doing every day.

But this is just not for me.
I strongly dislike the way stylists are disposable to my company. We are a name on a paper. A statistic. Requests for a certain stylist are discouraged. We are taught to tell customers that every stylist is trained to do everything, and can do it as well as the requested stylist. We are to create brand loyalty, not stylist loyalty. (Understandable; a company needs to bring in and subsequently keep their customers...but frustrating nonetheless.)

I am required to take care of every customer in less than 17 minutes. From getting their name all the way through their credit card running through. LESS THAN 17 MINUTES. Getting their information, introducing myself, leading them back to my station, consultation, doing the actual haircut, have them check everything over, blowdry, style. And then I'm basically required to shove products into their hands, try to get them to buy it, walk them over to the retail walls, explain the various products, ring them up, swipe the credit card. When it finally goes through the computer stops timing me. LESS THAN SEVENTEEN MINUTES. They really want it to be between 13 and 15 mintues.

Not only is it, oh, encouraged, but at the moment I am about 90 seconds too slow on average and have been threatened with suspension and having my hours cut.

Oh shoot me.

I do not encourage any friends to go to my salon.
A few weeks ago my manager told me she realized what my problem is...my cuts are "too stylized."

I really just want my own salon with my own clientele.

If you're having a good time

2010-07-04T17:07:00.000-06:00

Alex reads the lyrics to Spice Girls "Spice Up Your Life" with an Irish accent. And I attempt to stifle giggles.

A love letter:

2010-07-02T05:38:00.000-06:00

My first best friend was a boy named Jared. After he decided I was no longer cool to hang out with (we were about 9), I didn't have many male friends until middle of Junior High. But since then, the past 15 years or so, sheesh.

This, folks, is a love letter to my guyfriends.

I'm not good at love letters, so I'll just give it a shot.

Dear guys,
You freaking rock.
Smooches, but not really, 'cause we're platonic and whatnot,
Susie

No good? Dang. I'll try again.

Dear Sirs,
You make me laugh. You get my jokes far more often than anyone else. You are quick to tell me I'm awesome when I'm making a complete dork out of myself. You will accompany me to stupid events merely because I asked (or gently manipulated, whatevs.) You get excited when I want to cook for you, which makes me want to cook for you more often. You are far more likely to enjoy the nerdier things I enjoy. Having some of you trained to follow up conversations about other people with "but not as cool as you, Sus." is just about the funniest/coolest thing ever. Most of you are very chivalrous and make me actually feel girly (believe me, with my height and linebacker shoulders it is hard to feel girly ever.) I was never a hugger until I became friends with you guys who are huggers. Despite my insanity and complete dorkiness I have dozens of wonderful, awesome, sweet, fantastic, [in some instances incredibly attractive] men who enjoy hanging out with me. The real me. The spazzy, loud mouth me.

If it were up to me I would have several of my guys around me at all times. For entertainment, ego boosts, and general frivolity.

I love my guys so so much,
Smooches
Susannah

p.s., I know that as you get married off we can't be the same. Thats ok. I'm learning to deal with it. ::sob::

May 2010 in the classic style of Tweet

2010-07-02T01:27:00.000-06:00

Putting new pink streaks in my hair. 'Cause, ya know, its Saturday night and I have an exciting social life today. :/ 9:04 PM May 1st via web

Am stuck in a rambling talkativeness state. Apparently those whopping 4 hours of sleep just didn't cut it, sheesh. 4:20 PM May 3rd via web

There is a large percentage of my brain filled with near-useless information. On that note: Happy birthday, Lance Bass! 1:13 PM May 4th via web

Ya know what is one of the best things ever? Digital copies included on DVDs, thus having Star Trek on my iTunes w/o finding the disc. 1:53 PM May 4th via web

My dad made my mom's lunch; couldn't find honey, was going to make a peanut butter & caramel sandwich. I intervened. You're welcome, Mom. 3:41 PM May 4th via web

My Grandma's Mexican worker (her words) piled lilac bush trimmings up to/on George's hood. My Spanish is limited to the Taco Bell menu board 1:52 PM May 5th via txt

The "I'm annoyed" conversation would come out: "Burrito empanada, dude. BURRITO!" Wed May 5 13:57:39 2010 via txt

Put the treadmill on a 10% incline w/o my inhaler. 'Cause apparently I like when my lungs shut off and I feel my heartbeat in my forehead. Thu May 6 02:43:44 2010 via web

Wish I was financially stable enough to get my own place. My mother is giving ultimatums and threatening to throw away my things again. :/ Fri May 7 12:10:00 2010 via txt

Home alone Saturday night. Twisted albino jaguar print shirt on, Clinique chubby stick in grapevine smeared on my lips. Um, self photoshoot? Fri May 7 22:21:42 2010 via web

When you work through *every single weekend* you lose the ability to know what day it is. Apparently tomorrow is Saturday. Who knew? Sat May 8 00:45:58 2010 via web

It reaches that point in the evening when I realize I have to be up in 3 hours... is the little bit of sleep worth it? Gah. Sat May 8 03:04:53 2010 via web

Drove all the way to my little bank in Sandy before realizing today is Saturday and they're closed. Gah! Sat May 8 14:58:06 2010 via txt

4 y.o. Sophia: "I'm a blutterfly!" Susannah: "A blood-or-fly?" Sophia: "A cat-a-piyar, Sue-nannah." Sat May 8 18:33:53 2010 via txt

"Ouch my cheeks hurt. You need to stop being funny today." hahaha, Ryan is the Joey to my Phoebe. Sun May 9 13:44:48 2010 via txt

Ryan: "In a few years you'll be celebrated on this day ...and I'll be helping your cats pick out the gift." Sun May 9 23:20:37 2010 via web

Nagging doesn't lead to movement from me. (!!!) Nagging leads to homicide. It's true; I've seen CSI. Mon May 10 22:59:46 2010 via web

For sale: 25 y.o. SWF, slight defect: can do nothing right. Apparently her parents messed up with this one, as she turned out SO SCREWED UP. Mon May 10 23:24:05 2010 via web

Today my mom offered to pour me a diet Mtn Dew. That is like June Cleaver telling Ward to pick up some KFC on his way home. Doesn't happen. Tue May 11 18:19:17 2010 via txt

Why is it that every once in a while I can't reach FB. My bookmark, a search, and typing in the URL all bring up Google rather than FB. Huh? Thu May 13 03:11:44 2010 via web

Lunch with Adam. Tried tofu for the first time...not bad. Thu May 13 13:54:34 2010 via txt

I love my guyfriends so much. They are such fun. It'll suck when they all get married off and its no longer ok for me to play with them. Thu May 13 15:33:37 2010 via txt

Client offered me half of his cupcake. Hahahaha, so random. Fri May 14 20:02:18 2010 via txt

Some days 4 miles on the treadmill feels like nothing. Other times (read: today) going 0.25 miles feels like death. Uphill death. Tue May 18 23:19:24 2010 via web

Doing genealogy today. I have a distant great-cousin named Utahnah. Really. So I'm thinking about naming a future daughter NewMexycoh Wed May 19 13:07:39 2010 via web

Was lectured by manager because my haircuts are -wait for it- too stylized uniquely for each client, too good. Wed May 19 21:26:35 2010 via txt

Dad gave me a rubber bracelet he got at the clinic today, because I love free crap. Imprinted on it: Remember Typhoid Vaccine. Sweeeet! haha Wed May 19 22:02:10 2010 via web

"Thats why things wouldn't work out between us...I don't get the nerdy stuff." - Adam hahahahahaha, oh my. So funny. Thu May 20 23:59:14 2010 via txt

In about 16 hours I will be hosting a fondue party. I've never made fondue in my life. Also: I have to sleep and work 8 hrs before this. Uhh Fri May 21 02:40:24 2010 via web

Gave a caller our cross streets, she was adamant they do not intersect. I got feisty and said "What *I* am telling *you* is Yes they do!" Fri May 21 09:48:07 2010 via txt

She figured out why she was wrong, but now she is coming in for a haircut and I don't want to talk to her. #goawaycrazylady Fri May 21 09:50:04 2010 via txt

Shasta diet grape soda tastes like Chloraseptic spray. Gross. This coming from someone who loves the chemically taste of diet sodas. Fri May 21 11:45:29 2010 via txt

5 more hours of work, then my 2 week vacation begins. Dear 5 hours, please go quickly. Smooches, Sushi Sat May 22 14:44:52 2010 via txt

Today I got request a for a Zack Morris haircut. Awesome. (original middle school? Classic high school? Or S.B.T.B. The College Years?) Sat May 22 19:15:59 2010 via txt

Just landed in Las Vegas. Ah, my two week vacation begins now. :) Sun May 23 11:23:03 2010 via txt

Day 1 of being faux mama and I discover my niece's forgotten lunch in the car 25 minutes after dropping her off, haha. Mon May 24 10:24:18 2010 via txt

FauxMama Day 1. The 5yo- "Ok, I'll tell you the truth. I kinda pooped my pants, but I took care of it by myself, k? I TOOK CARE OF IT." haha Mon May 24 15:46:55 2010 via web

9y.o.- "Am I the only one who doesn't know who John Cena is?" haha, strangely enough...yes. Mon May 24 18:20:49 2010 via txt

Happy Towel Day! Do you know where your towel is? (Sometimes I supress the geek inside. Sometimes it comes screaming out.) Tue May 25 10:29:42 2010 via web

FauxMama day 2 is a vacation because the only obligation I have for the next 3+ hours is to hang out with my hilarious 5yo nephew, Luke. Tue May 25 12:55:46 2010 via txt

"Emma and me weren't alive when Caroline was a baby. Was Jesus still not done making us?" -5y.o. Luke Tue May 25 13:29:23 2010 via txt

Luke trying to understand text messages: "Uh, so does the paper envelope fly through the universe and then come back to the world?" Tue May 25 15:15:07 2010 via txt

Biggest Loser season finale in a half hour ...get out the ice cream! I'm so pumped! Tue May 25 20:33:22 2010 via web

...I'm annoyed the TBL live finale has already aired in other places. Accidentally read spoilers. Gah. So annoyed. Tue May 25 20:45:27 2010 via web

I love Sirius xm Live On Broadway, but I need the host to stop saying Brava! every other sentence if I want to keep my sanity. Wed May 26 10:30:09 2010 via txt

At the library with the little dude, pouring over a huge book on the human body. Luke finds the idea of a tail bone to be HILARIOUS! Wed May 26 13:40:58 2010 via txt

The 5 y.o. fell asleep over 4 hours ago... uhoh... bracing myself for some 2 a.m. awake-and-bored action. Wed May 26 22:38:44 2010 via web

Tried to entertain a wide-awake 5y.o. at 3:45 a.m. My nephew loves the Transformers movie now... sorry about that, sis. Thu May 27 10:09:23 2010 via web

My last day as a Faux Mama. Then I'll be back to being a bad influence Auntie, mwa ha ha. Fri May 28 08:34:30 2010 via web

repeating No peppers, please! does not mean please pile on the peppers, rendering my sandwich unedible, Miss Subway Employee Fri May 28 12:42:40 2010 via txt

9yo while we have root beer floats: "Do you wish you'd made it on The Biggest Loser, Auntie?" Sus: "Uh, sure. Thanks for the reminder, Ems." Fri May 28 17:42:18 2010 via txt

"Carry mine, carry my, you like to read my poker face." Emma is walking around singing her misheard Lady Gaga lyrics, hahaha Sat May 29 10:34:42 2010 via txt

"...you have got to love your buddy. Puh puh puh poker face, puh puh poker face." haha Care: "How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke 'er face." Sat May 29 10:42:00 2010 via txt

Always fun to get calls from creditor while on vacation. Especially when they made the mistake and tried to take my money 4 days early. Nice Sat May 29 11:12:29 2010 via web

Discussing marriage with my big sister. Conclusion: I am far too stubborn, selfish, and independent at the moment. No shocker there. Sat May 29 13:17:46 2010 via txt

Sus: "What is that place?" Ash: "Its like Lane Bryant." Sus: "Oh." Ash: "...but for skinny folk." Sus: "HAHAHAHAHA!" Sat May 29 22:46:23 2010 via txt

Exhausted, laying on Ash's car. "I'll refuse to take you home until you agree to move back to Las Vegas." -Ashley hahaha, I'm SO TIRED!!! Sun May 30 00:58:01 2010 via txt

Niece and I are plotting, err, planning our San Diego activities. Its what I get when I'm the only unmarried sibling--an 11yo girl as my bf. Sun May 30 21:27:23 2010 via web

I'm in shorts in public. Denim shorts that hit mid-thigh. Uhhhh... Not sure how I feel about this. I need supervision when I pack. Mon May 31 19:33:35 2010 via txt

At dinner with @muffymoo @bencrowder and my parents. I'm in shorts, Ben's actually wearing a T-SHIRT and dad's doing "the sprinkler." Oh my. Mon May 31 22:28:27 2010 via txt

tearing down my high school

2010-06-17T13:36:00.002-06:00

chaotic fun

2010-05-30T20:31:00.000-06:00

This week I'm going on vacation to San Diego with my parents, my siblings, and my nieces and nephews. Hilarity ensues when we all get together. I'm pumped.

I am not mentioned nearly enough

2010-05-19T23:45:00.063-06:00

My father's journal

-- November 1988

I enjoyed kneeling by 4-year-old Susannah's bed and discussing life's issues (popsicles and picnics) with her while Carole got Meridith ready for bed. Susie wanted to get into bed with Deborah and Elizabeth until Meridith stopped fussing. I told her that Elizabeth was practicing her violin and that it would be hard to go to sleep there, too. She said ever-so-innocently, "That's alright, Dad. I like music and can sleep with it." She is just so cute.

-- April 8th 1989 [still 4-years-old]

Susannah kept telling me that she was planning that we would make sandwiches at home and go to the park for a picnic. When we finally got back [from the office], of course, we were all starved. It was nearly 2:00 p.m.

I came into the house, made a sardine sandwich and started to eat. I invited Susannah, but she refused. She said that she was going to have her mustard sandwich at the park when we go over for a picnic. I told her that it was probably too late for a picnic now, but that I would take her and Meridith during the week sometime. She went ahead, totally undaunted by my negative response and made her mustard sandwich, put it in a plastic bag, brought in a picnic jug from the backyard and began to wash it out. (I told her that it would need soap and helped her finish it.) She asked me to help make some orange juice for the jug and found some plastic tumblers. She then told me that her work was all done, i.e. she had made her bed and straightened her room, and that she was now totally ready for a picnic, and asked that I please take her right away!

Seeing her desire and her faith, I had no choice. I took her and Clarke over to the park where I could watch them play while listening to some Mozart and reading my European travel materials. We stayed for about an hour.

--April 15th 1989

Susannah is standing by my side telling me that she wants me to take her to a park where there are "...trees everywhere!" She is about as obsessed with playing at the park as I am with Mozart lately.

--December 1st 1989

Could I just say one more thing...how much I am enjoying my children. Last Monday I took Susannah with me to Salt Lake to pick up inventory and then to South Towne Mall to look things over and maybe get in a little walk. She is such a sweet child, and smart, too! I enjoy being her dad so much.

December 18th 1989

The other day, Susannah was watching television and came suddenly to find Carole and me to tell us that the "Cracknut" ballet was on.

also December 18th 1989

Susannah was my hand partner while we were looking at the lights. She is really so cute. Quite independent...she knows exactly what she wants, but she is also sensitive to others and is very affectionate. She fell on the slick sidewalk up on the hill where I parked the van and hurt her little legs, but soon she was better and playing happily with the other cousins.

--January 24th 1991

I think Susannah is such an interesting person; a combination of stubbornness, strong will, and sweetness. She has a talent for art. Her work is innovative. She has been constantly delivering love notes to Carole and me for the last several weeks. She has discovered our family computer this week and has spent a lot of time on it creating little works of art with MacPaint.

(emphasis mine, hahahaha, I was 6.)

--March 6th 1991

Susannah, who had just joined our early morning reading group, refused to read her verse. Carole coaxed her, but still, stubborn as Susannah is, she wouldn't read. I finally had to put my food down and command her to read. Susie fussed, but finally read.

My brother Clarke's journal

--November 19th 1989

Susannah is five. She likes playing with her sisters and brothers. She's nice. She's smart because she knows the meaning of things. She looks good in a lot of colors.

I haven't changed all that much, have I? haha
I love this one, hahah, oh my.

My father's journal

--January 13th 1992

[we were playing a marble game my dad had made up.]

Susannah was either the most talented marble flipper or the luckiest, she just kept winning.
At one point Deborah had lost all her orblets to Susannah and was sitting only as a spectator. I gave her the leader's job and stood up to talk with Mom in the kitchen. Immediately there was a commotion in the living room. Susannah was crying. Clarke was smirking. Deborah was gritting her teeth.

"Her hand went over the line," Clarke said "and she hit me, so I am taking all of my marbles and putting them away."
Clarke had usurped Deboarh's authority as judge. He ruled Susannah's flip as unqualified and confiscated her winnings. At that Susannah whacked him in the middle of his back with her fist (That's my spunky Susie!) ...thats when Clarke took everyone's marbles away.

--January 1991

Susannah is such an interesting little girl. She is very stubborn. She is her own woman, but she is also quite reasonable. If you are patient and explain things to her, she understands and usually accepts what you are trying to teach her. It's her stubborn streak, though, that drives you mad sometimes!
Tonight for example, I knelt down with her for her prayers. Her prayers are very sweet and so sincere. When she was finished I said, "Now, right into bed!" She got right up and walked out!
I found her in the kitchen getting a drink. I said, "Don't drink that whole glass before bed." She promptly guzzled the whole thing! Really, she can be a challenge sometimes. I think her strong will will serve her well in later years, though. She will be a leader, not a follower.

Nope. Haven't changed a bit.

Creepy

2010-05-18T23:02:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago I did what I thought would be a fun/artistic/creepy photoshoot
...in the bathtub.

I love this resulting picture because it is so weird.

do the dew

2010-05-14T15:07:00.000-06:00

4:45 a.m.

Aaron:
hey

Susannah:
uh, hey, I am not up this late

Jedi mind trick hand-wave

I'm hyped up on so much diet Mtn Dew I don't think I'll fall asleep until Monday night.

Aaron:
Lol

Susannah:
Whats new?

Aaron:
not a whole lot, just can't sleep

Susannah:
You bought three 12-packs of diet Mtn Dew, too?!

Aaron:
Wow, no

Susannah:
*bought* not necessarily drank ...only drank about 7 cans.

Aaron:
Only 7. oh ok

Susannah:
A totally reasonable number.

Aaron:
Totally

Susannah:
We're ignoring the three 44 oz. cups I had earlier in the afternoon. And the 2 cans in the morning.

Holy crap, I'm an addict.

Aaron:
Yes you are

Susannah:
Hahahaha

Aaron:
to start off you should give me all your mountain dew, to get you off this addiction

Susannah:
hahaha, what if I don't want to quit? What if I like being up until 5 a.m., which leads me to do ridiculous things like write emails to my favorite reality show stars?

Aaron:
lol
its when you have to wake up is the problem

Susannah:
haha, yeah, we'll see if I can make it on time, sheesh

Aaron:
you can, you have like 29 more mountain dews

Susannah:
LOVE THAT IDEA!

Aaron:
if anybodys going to have problems its me

Susannah:

So I'll just save you a Mtn Dew.

Aaron:
Sweet

I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you 'cause I'm a woman, W-O-M-A-N

2010-05-07T03:32:00.000-06:00

Hannah and I are on the activities committee and we've decided to hold a talent show at our superactivity this June.
SO EXCITED!

We are planning to fulfill a desire I've had for so many years: either perform "I'm a Woman" in little black dresses or do a Spice Girls song dressed as each girl. So dang fun. (I'll be Ginger Spice, but I think that is to be assumed.)

I'm just hoping I'll be able to have the days off from work that I've requested, sheesh. I went to Las Vegas for a week at the end of April, and now I'll be heading to Vegas and San Diego for two weeks at the end of this month. My manager says she can't give me the other days I requested because the other girls requested them off first (no duh. I just switched to that salon!)
So maybe I'll have to find a last-minute Spice Girl replacement. I don't like that idea.

...now if only I could find a Union Jack mini dress...

I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky, I like 'em big, I like 'em plumpy, I like 'em round, with somethin' somethin'

2010-05-06T00:13:00.000-06:00

Dear Mike Ventrella,

Can I have you?

Smooches,
Sushi

-----

You know what is kind of a painful reminder? I got through the first few rounds of casting for The Biggest Loser in January of 2007

Holy crap.

Three years? Three freaking years?

Three years that I could've been actually sticking to it and reaching goals? Wow.

(I really really want this as a ringtone on my phone.)

The board will rule in your favor...most likely

2010-05-04T14:13:00.002-06:00

I went to Las Vegas last week. I got a lot of use out of my cute little pink camera.

I went to Las Vegas last week. I got a lot of use out of my cute little pink camera.

(I just had to add that last one, haha, it is in my sister's house.)

Oh baby believe me its only a matter of time

2010-05-02T21:03:00.000-06:00

Dear brain, settle the heck down. Mmmkay?
Smooches,
Sushi.

I am having a bit of a rough go this week.

A severe lack of desire to be at work, to do the work. Feeling some passive aggressive something from my manager and coworkers.

Weird frienship things.

I need a break from my life for a little while. Sleep for a week or something.

Hmmmmm

2010-04-21T01:00:00.001-06:00

Holly: "Yeah, I read about that on your Facebook."
Sus: "Uh...I didn't write it on Facebook."
Holly: "Oh?"
Sus: "Oh, I wrote it on Twitter."
Holly: "Then I read it on Twitter."

Sus: "...I didn't know she reads my Twitter..." *
---

Haha. Here is my problem: I have many stories to tell. Many stories to tell. However, they all involve people who may either frequent this place or have knowledge of this place. And although usually tame and even hilarious, some stories are not those that I'd like those people being privy to.

Thus the conundrum.

To tell the funny stories and chance it...to hold back the funny stories. I don't know.

* (I love that Holly read my Twitter feed, really I do. This sounds like I don't like it. I do.)

wise words

2010-04-18T23:22:00.000-06:00

Oh, I am supposed to quit failing? Oh! Thanks, Facebook. Its all clear to me now.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe

2010-04-12T18:27:00.001-06:00

I don't think my laughter has a volume option other than booming, I stand several inches over most of my friends, I speak before I think...sometimes the thinking never even happens, my calves are the size of my sister's thighs, I am a nerd wannabe, my attempt at wit often doesn't come out correctly and I just sound stupid, I am broad-shouldered and am over 100 lbs overweight--making me look more like a pregnant linebacker, I have a bad habit of correcting people (grammar, facts, etc) and am not very subtle about it.

Ok, so I'm not perfect.
But I kinda like me. :)

Susannah and Tiera -- friends for past 16 years

Today at lunch my dad was talking to me about how Satan often gets to women by discouraging them. Gets them to feel they aren't good enough, compare themselves to other women, etc.

I can't say it doesn't happen to me. Sheesh, try having the gorgeous, hilarious, intelligent Sarah as your best friend! Eek. Every single time I hang out with her and one of my guyfriends I later have to hear about how fabulous she is. I know, I know! SHUT UP!

But really, I'm kind of the opposite. I'm almost overconfident.

They may be huge, but I can not quite express my love of my legs. Over 40 inches hip-to-floor of long, strong, curvy muscle. I can kick high and hard. I can run (if other portions of me are appropriately strapped down), walk, skip, jump, dance, and fill out tall-cut wide-cuff trousers DANG IT.

I've never ever (ever) been skinny. I really don't care to ever be skinny. My weight loss goals really have to do with health (oh to be able to do things without needing my inhaler!) and how clothes hang. My goal body isn't a weight number or a dress size...it is this: A tight pinstriped pencil skirt, tucked in crisp white button-up blouse, and 4" pointy-toed stillettos. *sigh*

I'm tall and that is intimidating, blah blah blah. I have never disliked my height, I've never wished I hadn't grown those last few inches. (If anything I'd love one or two more inches! I'm only 5'10")

Yeah, I'm loud. My voice/my laugh/my personality in general. I'm ok with that.
I make friends easily and I'm a fiercely loyal friend.

I'm a goofy dork, but I hear its endearing.

Other people like me, so why shouldn't I like me too?

Susannah, Amy, Marcie, Kylee, Jason and Hannah

(Amy and I have been friends for over 20 years)

I wanna be super

2010-04-08T03:36:00.000-06:00

I'm sick. Therefore I've been asleep and awake and asleep and awake. And to the point of falling asleep while walking around the house. And lying in bed wide awake, staring at the wall.

So at 3 a.m. I am spending FAR TOO MUCH ATTENTION on this, but nonetheless, I am kind of in love with making myself a supermodelquin on OldNavy.com!

It is hard to pick the facial feature shape that best fits you...I had to pull up pictures of myself to compare.

I ended up with this:

I don't know about the face, though...meh. I hate the lopsided lips, but they had no other choices that even came close to the awesome that is my own lips. Oh well. And those eyebrows...hmm. Oh well. I based it off of this photo:

it was bad

2010-04-07T00:16:00.000-06:00

11:50pm Ashley

have you ever seen a movie called "A life less ordinary"?

11:51pm Susannah

I've heard of it, but have never seen it.

11:51pm Ashley

its pretty awesome

i bought it on itunes when they were having a bundle sale and I got that one and Ever After for 5 bucks

and i watch that one more than ever after ...

i highly recommend

11:52pm Susannah

I don't like Cameron Diaz nor Drew Barrymore...so, uh...

11:52pm Ashley

well boo on you!

11:52pm Susannah

Well if they weren't sucktastic actresses maybe I'd like 'em.

11:53pm Ashley

harsh!!!

lol

11:53pm Susannah

true!!!

11:53pm Ashley

i don't like all of there movies, just a few

i liked charlies angels and the wedding singer

11:54pm Susannah

I watch a few, but eh... I mean, there are worse actresses, of course: Kristen Stewart, Natalie Portman, etc

11:54pm Ashley

whats wrong with natalie portman? lol

11:55pm Susannah

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

11:55pm Ashley

lol

11:55pm Susannah

DID YOU NOT SEE STAR WARS I THROUGH III ?!?

11:55pm Ashley

i guess i just don't have a particular hatred of any particular actor/actress

i don't think SHE was the only reason for the bad that was those movies though

11:56pm Susannah

She's so cringe-worthy, its painful!

11:56pm Ashley

it was bad, but i don't think we can pin that just on her though...

11:59pm Susannah

We can't pin that just on her because there are two other horrible things wrong with them: Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen.

11:59pm Ashley

lol

Oh, by the way

2010-04-05T01:44:00.000-06:00

I'm going to lose about 40 lbs by the end of August.

Just sayin'

Is it because I'm black?

2010-03-29T11:39:00.000-06:00

OK, I'm a little slow. Remember this? (quick recap: I finally gave in to Adam's suggestions and got to know Celeste, then I met her roommates. Hmmm, yeah, thats about it. November was a fun, crazy month...)

November 8th-

I invited Celeste and her roommates (the one, two, three, four girls) over for dinner, but was reminded that I had been invited to their house for that night. Oops, I'd forgotten all about that! It had been two weeks since the night I met Kathleen.
I went to their house a bit early, to meet with Kyra for a VT meeting. I talked to her for a long while about how fun nieces and nephews are, about being friends with your siblings, and our mutual love of fabulous shoes...solidifying how much I enjoy Kyra.
Kathleen made ravioli for dinner Oh, Kathleen, there is no way anyone could any less than totally love Kathleen. She is hilarious and sweet. Every once in a while she'll ask, "Is it because I'm black?" Yes, yes it is.
After dinner with the One Two Three Four girls I ran home to change clothes and hurried over to ward prayer. I was a few minutes late, but they hadn't started yet. I slipped into the row of chairs right by the door. Tiffany had been sitting with her roommates across the room, but ran over and sat next to me moment before the meeting began (much to my relief and excitement.) A few minutes later a guy slipped into the row, a chair or two from Tiffany.
After the meeting ended the guy turned to Tiffany and, pointing to the wall across the room, asked "Is that a John Wayne clock?" Hahaha, it was a slice of lacquered wood with clock hands affixed and a decopaged picture of John Wayne in the corner, hahaha. I said, "That's fantastic!"

Kyra handed me her VHS copy of "Thoroughly Modern Millie" which, per our texted conversation earlier, she was letting me borrow. Video in hand I wandered the room, chatting with friends, suggesting they come over for movie night.
The John Wayne Clock guy asked why I was carrying around the video. I explained that "We're watching this hilarious movie tonight at our movie night. You coming?" He replied that he hadn't been invited, I said as its at my house I'm pretty sure I get to hand out invitations. He said he shouldn't go, as he had homework.

I started chatting with Celeste, Kathleen, and Tiffany about what movies we should watch at subsequent movie nights. I laughed and said we should just go through my entire collection, which may take a while when we get to the TV show seasons. Someone asked what shows I have, "Umm...CSI seasons 1, 2, and 3, CSI:Miami 1 and 2, CSI:NY 2, Perry Mason, The Practice, and NYPD Blue season 1..."

JWClockGuy: "So you like crime shows?"
Susannah: "Yeah, basically. Oh, and I have The Office!"
JWClockGuy: "Have you seen Castle?"
Susannah: "Just the season premiere, but I liked it ...I love Nathan Fillion...Firerfly, Serenity, all that."
JWClockGuy: "Have you seen Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog?"
Susannah: "Of course! Love it. I was actually trying to watch it yesterday, but it wouldn't load."
*big high 5*
JWClockGuy: "You are my new favorite person!"
Susannah: "Well thanks! ...uh, whats your name?"
JWClockGuy: "I'm Tom [lastname]!"
Susannah: "Haha, hi Tom, I'm Susannah."
Tom: "With an H or without an H?"
Susannah: "Oh I love you; with an H."
Tom: "My sister's name is Susanna, without an H."
Susannah: "With an S or Z?"
Tom: "An S, of course."
Susannah: "Oh, of course."

Hahahaha. I left there and went back home, where a bunch of friends met me there. AaronP came late and saw only the second half (as usual) when the movie ended I tried to rewind it to show him the dance scene, but the VCR turned off and I couldn't get the VHS tape out. (I wouldn't get it out until I took apart the VCR in February, three months later, oops!)

That was a really fun day.

November 11th-

On the 14th my little sister Meridith was marrying Ben, a guy she'd known for about 3 weeks. Bwahahaha, ok, ok, so she met him in July. Whatever. Hahaha.
She was having my dinner reception in my colors. Oh well. Hahaha. I think everyone expected me to be the bitter single older sister. I got asked "How are you dealing?" Haaha, oh heavens. I've been saying for YEARS that Meridith would get married before me. Not a shocker.

I made invitations for Meridith's bridal shower. I put them together at the office, at work, and at home. Somwhere along the way I lost a sheet of 6 invitations, which I didn't realize until I finished putting them all together (it was the invites for my sisters-in-law...oops!)
Deborah came in town a few days before the wedding, so we had the bridal shower on the 11th.
Right before the shower (like...minutes, seconds) I was throwing together a game. I really don't know, like, excel at bridal/baby shower games. I so much prefer food and chatting. But I tried. I cut up a few of my magazines from 2004/2005 (Mer, you KNOW what that means.) and did the whole celebrity head on the brid body guess-the-celeb game. I thought they'd be too easy but J.Lo tripped up some older ladies and Andie McDowell threw off quite a few others.
Mom did a spice guessing game (I can't name spices by the scent at all, except cinnamon.)
They (Mom and Deb) made salad, lentil soup (surprisingly good. Never thought I'd like lentils.) and freaking amazing buttery parmesan-y rolls.

Upcoming:

* The Recording Studio
* The Wedding
* The Solo Thanksgiving
* The Park City All-Nighter

Play it again, Charles II "The Bald"

2010-03-15T23:55:00.000-06:00

I absolutely love the names of these ancestors. Ludmilla Ragnhildis Countess of Ringelheim? Awesome. Even better: Charles II "The Bald". Hahahaha, his Great Grandfather is Pepin "The Short" King of France, who happens to be Charlemagne's father. Fantastic.

If you trace that line back it goes as far as Clodius II King of The West Franks, born before the year 0006. (Although I've found several websites that research the ancestory of Clodius. One taking the line back to Adam.)

Ok, I'll get off the genealogy kick soon.

...but isn't this SO FREAKING COOL?! I'm Charlemagne's Great (x42) Granddaughter, hahaha.

When did this happen?!

2010-03-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

Little Mr. Braydo-Potato made me an aunt. I was 11-years-old. (I'm closer in age to Brayden than I am to my big brother, his father, who is 13 years older than me.)

Shockingly Brayden turns 14 today. What the?!
Little tiny darling Brayd-the-Babe?!

I loved getting to hold Brayden. To play with him as he got a little older. To swing him around on a blanket and throw him onto the couch. ("One mo time, peez!") To take him to the movies (with little bro Camden.)

I can't believe he's so old already, but he's even more of a funny sweet guy than he was then. I am a lucky chick to have seventeen awesome nieces and nephews.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRAYDEN!