My So-Called Life

"Can I keep you?"

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:22:00 +0000

When I was about 10 or 11-years-old, back when I shared a bedroom with my little sister Meridith, I had this poster on my wall:

Oh how I luh-oved that kid. I *cough* may have convinced the little girl I babysat often that she wanted to watch Little Giants every single time ("Sure, we could play games or play outside or something else boring... but wouldn't you rather I make you a treat and we watch this awesome movie again??" I've been manipulative from a young age.)

When I was 14, 15 or so I started to forget about him. Oh yeah, remember that Devon guy that I was pretty much obsessed with? Haha. Funny.

A few weeks ago my sister borrowed my DVD of Casper and I found it in the kitchen. I popped it in the computer while I worked on other things, half-listening to the dialogue. But then it got to the end of the movie. I had to stop what I was working on. I had to make it full screen. I had to PAY ATTENTION.

You see, this is where Casper the Friendly Ghost changes form for a few minutes, into the young blond boy he'd been while alive. Played by? Oh, hello, Devon!

The memories of how much I enjoyed this kid came flooding back. The brain space I'd dedicated to him was apparently still intact, as suddenly little facts like "He has two hamsters, named Pepsi and Coke" came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Whoa.

I jumped on Twitter to mock myself publicly. But first I quickly typed his name into the search field, to see if anyone else had had the same nostalgia I did. I was surprised that he was discussed often! And had a twitter handle of his own.
I usually do not follow many celebrities on Twitter. They are usually run by their people, and are boring. Or if they're run by the actual person themselves they are sometimes misspelled drivel that only gets updated every few months. So I was hesitant to follow him. But I clicked it anyway.

I was surprised to find his tweets funny and spelled correctly, haha. After a couple of weeks of having Devon in my feed everyday I found myself wanting to watch his movies again, remembering more tidbit facts that I'd memorized 15 years ago.

So I wrote this, and got this response a few minutes later:

I hadn't included his @handle with the intention of him reading it, it was so my friends could click through and see who in the heck I was talking about. But read it he did. And retweeted it to his just-under-2,000 followers just 3 minutes later. Then replied directly to me. And then the 13-year-old in me freaked out and died a little. In a good way.

family history

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:04:00 +0000

Today's Sunday School lesson was on family history...

And now it's quarter to 5 a.m. and I have to be up in 2 hours, but I've spent all night trying to find stories about my ancestors.

My Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandmother is Susannah Young, older sister of Brigham Young (of Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.)

A few minutes ago I found this quote and I like it:

Brigham Young said of his sister, Susannah, that “she had suffered much, had been through many hardships and trials and with all this had stayed faithful and true to her family and church. She has left her descendants a great legacy, a heritage of faith, courage and endurance in adversity. We are indebted to her for that and for her life. She was truly a pioneer.”

(image: Susannah Young's brothers -- Lorenzo Dow Young, Brigham Young, Phineas Howe Young, Joseph Young and John Young)

Oooo, I want that

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:34:00 +0000

Torrid is having a 50% off Clearance sale right now and I WANT IT ALL
Unfortunately I don't have any money :( and it pains me.

$19.99
Green bubble dress

$21.49
Cranberry maxi dress

I know, right?! How darling is that collar/neckline?!

Black secretary dress
$25.49

I tried this dress on in the store a few days ago. It is...wow. (It was in black, which is not on clearance, unfortunately.)

Aqua bandage dress
$19.99

Purple Snakeskin gladiator heels
$14.99

Black lace-trimmed jacket
$19.99

As usual, pictures link to the ordering page. Uh...because I like early Christmas gifts? (bwahaha)

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:23:00 +0000

While reading the goals a friend wrote I came across this phrase, and loved it:

I want to marry someone who is as humble as my grandfather, loves me as much as my father, and accepts me as much as my brothers

So logically... if she weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood?

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

[originally written near the end of August...but finally getting around to publishing it]

Float |flōt| verb
1 Rest or move on or near the surface of a liquid without sinking : "she relaxed, floating gently in the water.
2 [with adverbial of direction ] move or hover slowly and lightly in a liquid or the air; drift : "clouds floated across a brilliant blue sky"

Float is such a nice, lovely word. Nothing about "float" brings stressful thoughts. Balloons float. Boats made of folded newspaper float. Ducks float. (as do witches, bread, apples, very small rocks, cider, gravy, cherries, mud, churches, lead. So logically, if she weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood.)

---

It'll be simple. "You sit on this tube and float down the river for an hour, until we reach the park." Ok! Sounds easy enough!

Because you were told repeatedly this was going to be a pleasant ~~ride~~ float, you are decked out in a swimsuit, sundress, sunglasses, and flip flops. You brought along a life-vest only out of adherence to city rules.

By the way, the moment you step into the frigid water you will realize what a bad idea this was. And as you contort your body into the small hole of the tube you hear a strange sound--that is your own body hyperventilating.

Your tube will flip over not once, but THREE TIMES, submerging you into the icy fast-moving liquid. With fishy-water-filled lungs, you are dragged across sharp rocks and are only able to regain your placement on the tube when a guy in your group, who happens to be a firefighter and takes it upon himself to save everyone in turmoil, holds your flip flops, your wrist, and your tube steady.

Your tube will find its way into the strange no-movement parts of the river where you will spin in place, unable, regardless of any limb flailing in the water, to move back into the current. You will have no choice but to stand on the sharp rocks, walk to a different part of the river, and attempt to get back into the tube sans firefighter man holding your quickly-floating-away tube.

You will also smack into SEVEN trees, having the innate ability to be in the very middle of the river until you see a tree hanging over one of the banks, and suddenly find yourself aiming straight for it.

You will return freezing, exhausted, scraped up, bruised, and starving.

my leg on the morning after, before all of the bruises appeared ...I should've lifted up my leg for the picture, rather than making my calf appear the size of my above-the-knee. Nice.

But hey, you were social! ALL AFTERNOON!

"Paul was a track coach [at business school]; they figured any girl he couldn't catch in three laps around the desk was ready for the business world."

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:50:00 +0000

Bonneville Salt Flats, October 2009

whoa oh oh

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 07:05:00 +0000

I can't really say I miss being at school until 10 p.m. almost every night, nor leaving my house at 7:15 so I could get to school on time and not get kicked out for tardiness...

But sometimes I miss being at school for my awesome, awesome instructors:

My former instructors: Olivia, Chris, Mark, and Miss Willie (and an instructor I don't know) rocking out their best Beyonce.

Dang. I had some complete cracksmokers for instructors, but I absolutely enjoy these guys.

laughing and a running, hey, hey, skipping and a jumping

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 05:54:00 +0000

in the misty morning fog with our hearts a'thumpin and you, my ~~brown-eyed~~ green/amber/brownish-eyed girl

When I was little my identity was based on two things: blonde hair and brown eyes. Whenever my sisters and I were given babydolls they matched us. Deborah had the brown hair and the green eyes. I had the blonde hair and the brown eyes. Meridith's dolls were bald and had blue eyes.

Everything I knew was based on me being the brown-eyed with the fair skin and the light hair.

That was when I was short, skinny, and blonde...and then I got older, hahaha

I've been in denial for years, but I've recently started LOVING my eyecolor. It is not green...but its not brown...its, uh, cool.

The colors are more interesting when the picture is clicked and made bigger.

You can not see that.

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:21:00 +0000

An FB friend had posted a new picture so I clicked it to get a better look. A few minutes later this warning popped up over the picture, and I nearly fell off my chair from laughing:

Made a deal not to feel

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:49:00 +0000

I was talking to a friend recently about his lack of participation in the online world. He told me blogs are so narcissistic that he is sickened by them. Dramatic much?

After finally remembering the correct username/password combination into Rachael's blog, I finally caught up on the last six months of her posts. As I closed the window I felt the same way I feel when I leave a movie--like I've been transported temporarily into another world...given a temporary view into another life. I love that feeling.
(Although sometimes it leaves me convinced I'm a secret agent and I do things like check behind doors when I enter a room. [ok, ok, I'm not Jason Bourne, I get it.])

I've been in a bad mood recently. Not really a bad mood, just sort of a funk. I needed something...I decided I needed a break from me. I took myself to see Julie & Julia and left the theater completely refreshed. (However it left me with a longing to go back to France, to learn to cook, and to write more often!) (Can I just say that I loved that they had Julia Child in heels the entire movie regardless of her 6'2" stature? [yeah, i know Meryl Streep is only 5'6", blah blah])

So I appreciate all those who take the time to post regardless of how selfish/narcissistic their own reasons. I enjoy the break from my own life I get to have when I step temporarily into someone else's summer vacation, job promotion, hot date, boring work day.

something is not the same

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:47:00 +0000

Today I found the last box of clothing. There is nothing all that important in there: some Tshirts, pajama pants, the way too low-cut shirt that I've only gotten away with wearing twice (once to a gay bar in downtown Vegas, the other the night I saw Brad Pitt in person.)

And yet I somehow feel more complete.

Little by little my world is coming back together.

April 2009 ala Tweeeeeeeet

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:56:00 +0000

"When you've got some Wizard of Oz eyebrows its time to tame 'em." trying to convince my dad to let me trim his bangs...oops I mean eyebrows
10:49 AM Apr 1st from txt

"If you think my arms are pale you should see my upper thighs."
3:53 PM Apr 1st from txt

On my cleavage-- Mom: "Its offensive. Its unladylike and not pretty." Sus: "Its your DNA, you could've chosen nicer words."
4:31 PM Apr 1st from txt

Saw Danielle and AJ. Aw, it is 2005 again; It absolutely feels like I never moved! ...Except I'm a lot cuter now.
6:53 PM Apr 1st from txt

Have had more diet Mountain Dew today than in ever... About 150 ounces when I finish this drink. Will I sleep tonight? We shall see, hahaha
11:10 PM Apr 1st from txt

My little sister turns 22 this morning, and I begin to not feel like a teenager anymore... weird. (Happy birthday, Meridith!)
8:07 AM Apr 2nd from web

Wandering around an organic market. Realizing how much I like chemicals. Bring on the artificial flavors!
11:43 AM Apr 2nd from txt

Lunch with Richard today ...thai, mmmm. Bring on the curry.
12:16 PM Apr 2nd from txt

Items in my trunk visible to passersby: a mannequin head, slice of old pizza in plastic, fuzzy slipper, dt mtn dew, and a can of frosting.
4:18 PM Apr 2nd from web

I'm sick of almost hitting UVU students. If a smashed Beetle is gliding toward you DO NOT step in front of it! Freaking texting jaywalkers!
4:52 PM Apr 2nd from txt

Stepping on worms. Eww, eww. Stupid rain. Stupid worms. Stupid barefoot. Eww, eww, eww. Stupid freaking nasty squishy worms! Eww.
12:48 AM Apr 3rd from txt

Although my fingers are so cold they're threatening to fall off, I'm craving a huge diet coke right now... sign of an addict?
11:46 AM Apr 3rd from web

Because of my brothers blasted mid-morning tweet, I've used up my caloric allotment on a freaking Betos breakfast burrito
1:14 PM Apr 3rd from web

Got my mother to taste my Diet Coke FTW!
2:47 PM Apr 3rd from web

The ribbon in my hair has moved as my mood has gotten sillier today. Its now wrapped sweatband style, bow side out. Doesnt get better.
5:09 PM Apr 3rd from txt

Girls Night Out with 4 of my 6 sisters. Waiting to get in Olive Garden for ONE HOUR. Those'd better be freaking good breadsticks.
7:35 PM Apr 3rd from txt

I've accepted that I'm getting sick. The saying is feed a cold, right? Easter candy it is! This'll be gone in no time!
9:00 PM Apr 4th from txt

Based on the amount of pain, I think my throat is trying to tear itself away from my body. And so now I've got a case of the sexy voice.
1:33 PM Apr 5th from web

My big brother saved Little Mac!
7:18 PM Apr 5th from web

Rico got the disc out of my Mac mini, so now I kick this 101.4 degree fever's behind while watching Revenge of the Sith. Thweeeeeeeet!
7:20 PM Apr 5th from web

104.2 degree fever this morning. Pretty much melting from the inside out.
4:02 AM Apr 6th from web

Your heart isn't supposed to hurt when you have a sore throat, is it? Uhhh...Big Sis worries my blood could become poisoned because of this.
7:53 PM Apr 7th from web

102.4 fever. Again. (Dear body, please let me sleeeeeeeep! Smooches, Sushi)
9:13 PM Apr 7th from web

Fever broke in early a.m., and OH! look who is back again! Feeeeeever. Doc appointment is in an hour.
9:15 AM Apr 8th from web

Flu test and strep test done. Organs all listened to. Now its a waiting game for results. Huzzah!
11:54 AM Apr 8th from txt

Some of my bronchitis medicine is apparently going to make me really hyper. Woohoo, this is gonna be interesting.
7:41 PM Apr 8th from web

Sus- "Crap, that trucks following me, he's gonna punch me or something." 10y.o. Care- "No, you punch him first. You be strong woman!!"
9:05 PM Apr 8th from txt

At the gas station: Sus- "I'll buy you a treat. They have ice cream, or candy or..." 10 y.o. Care- "Or beer."
9:41 PM Apr 8th from web

Prepping for the roadtrip. iPods are charged and junk food is purchased, but I still feel like I'm missing something...
12:51 PM Apr 9th from web

Anti-caffeine Mom ordered a Dr Pepper and Dad keeps calling his diet Mountain Dew a Sierra Mist...like he's fooling anybody. Weird day.
3:44 PM Apr 9th from txt

Bronchitis plus freezing cold air equals I can't breathe! So, uh, Idaho, would you do something about the rain/wind/freezing cold?! Thanks.
6:30 PM Apr 9th from txt

Did I really go to Olive Garden in Super Mario pj pants? Yes. Did it bug my mom? Probably; but thats half the fun.
8:35 PM Apr 9th from txt

Rigby, Idaho is not my cup of tea.
10:30 AM Apr 10th from txt

My baby sister is graduating from BYU-I (Cum Laude) today. Blast, she always has to one up me.
11:29 AM Apr 10th from txt

My sister is going to lunch with my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Remember how I JUST GRADUATED, TOO? Yeah, no one here cares either.
12:27 PM Apr 10th from txt

I am not a kind niece today; I one-word answer until you give up. Especially if you call me Deborah, Meridith or Elizabeth. Or try to hug me
7:49 PM Apr 10th from txt

Drinks have been spilled all over the restaurant table TWICE and neither time was me! Huzzah!
8:10 PM Apr 10th from txt

My parents are debating between Oahu and Cancun for our summer trip. Sus: "I prefer Polynesian to Mexican in my vacations, food, and men."
9:01 AM Apr 11th from txt

My father is convinced his truck is a submarine and keeps telling me to make my course 180 degrees, 2 degrees down bubble. DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!
1:38 PM Apr 11th from txt

There isn't any Easter candy around this house. ¿What the? Where my Peeps at?
4:16 PM Apr 12th from web

What a gorgeous day, oh my. I get to frolic at the park with some nieces, woohoo!
10:25 AM Apr 13th from web

After the park, lunch, Little Mermaid, popsicles and naps, I am off Auntie Duty. ...and have no idea how to use the evening.
5:44 PM Apr 13th from txt

I AM AN AUNTIE AGAIN! Number 16!!! (congratulations C & A!) It never gets any less exciting--One more favorite person to automatically love.
9:03 PM Apr 13th from txt

Is it a bad sign when your mother looks at you and starts laughing? ...its not like I was going to leave the house in the tiny shorts.
9:33 AM Apr 14th from web

Holding Ryan down as he gets waxed. Funniest thing ever!
12:52 PM Apr 14th from txt

Lunch at an organic cafe reminds me just how much this is not me.
1:49 PM Apr 14th from txt

Got my eyelashes tinted (although theyre black naturally) and am waiting for my appointment to get them permed, hahaha.
3:09 PM Apr 14th from txt

Got lost in SLC County. Found Daybreak...hello, Gorgeous. Off to find I-15 again in the dark rain! Fun, fun.
8:21 PM Apr 14th from txt

I've been far too perky all morning - helpful, as I have to sell myself today. Er...sell myself as a stylist...a perky one.
8:17 AM Apr 15th from web

Convinced my little sister to let me cut her hair short. In related news: I rock.
11:44 AM Apr 15th from web

Holy crap! It has snowed like A FOOT since I stepped outside this evening. Its gorgeous but INSANE!
11:59 PM Apr 15th from txt

French fries for lunch? It seemed like a good idea at the time.
12:28 PM Apr 16th from web

I want to run. I'm leaving work to get on a treadmill... Where is my sanity? (perhaps it saw my fry lunch, too)
1:54 PM Apr 16th from txt

sus: "Am I a negative person?" mer: "Not really. You kind of point out the negative in EVERYTHING." sus: "Not really?? Hahaha!"
10:22 PM Apr 16th from web

Got my little sister loving Arrested Development! Got to the end of season 1 and had to start over because I don't have 2 or 3. :(
11:16 PM Apr 16th from web

Watching Perry Mason makes me want to wear pencil skirts and tortoiseshell glasses.
9:48 AM Apr 17th from web

They're installing stuff in the recording studio today. My duties? "Dust the floor and crap." Its my brute strength being put to good use.
11:11 AM Apr 17th from web

Meeting my new niece, Grace. Teeny tiny cuteness.
1:00 PM Apr 17th from txt

Stopped by the salon, got last minute info; I start work next week. Holy crap...exciting but nervewracking!
3:47 PM Apr 17th from txt

Dinner with @brady2n at 5 Guys. Oh hello french fries for a meal again. I'm such a loud laugher that its a perfect place for me. So funny!
8:24 PM Apr 17th from txt

"The world is a mess and I just need to rule it." Hello, finally watching Dr Horrible. What has taken me so long?!
9:57 PM Apr 17th from txt

"My face would like to be part of the conversation, too. Quit staring at my twits!"
12:53 AM Apr 18th from txt

It is such a GORGEOUS day. It makes me want to ride my bike from Provo to Salt Lake ...but instead I'll drive with the windows open.
1:47 PM Apr 18th from txt

Being told why I'm a perfect girl: funny, one of the guys but girly, silly, gorgeous and smart...because I told him I'm not into dating. Ha!
4:48 PM Apr 18th from txt

Getting screamed at to make my bed, "not have a stinky room", and that I'm acting like a 13 y.o. ...Please remind me why I moved home...?
8:38 PM Apr 18th from web

"If that boy were an apple he'd be a delicious." Ha, I totally love 17 Again. I want that @alyankovic shirt and the lightsaber. Oh, I'm nerdy.
10:46 PM Apr 18th from txt

My legs are too long for my bed. Squish!
9:06 AM Apr 19th from txt

Jumped wards (gonna get crap for that) Disappointed to find out my drivers ed crush hasn't grown since we were 16--I still tower over him.
12:43 PM Apr 19th from txt

Sitting on a small dock of a lake in South Jordan. Perfect blue skies, light breeze. Had a picnic, should've brought a book.
3:30 PM Apr 19th from txt

Nephi, Utah is not my cup of tea...A little too small town-ish. And I am completely sick of having hiccups! Ho. Ly. Crap.
7:54 PM Apr 19th from txt

Needing a place to proclaim info that is unbloggable, untweetable, and unfacebookable (when it pertains to those that follow all 3)
11:25 AM Apr 20th from web

In Salt Lake. Dropped off my cosmetology license application--hopefully starting work this week. Thweeeeeet!
4:10 PM Apr 20th from txt

Left my date to hug another man...only to have that man say "I don't know you." Ouch. "Susannah...?" "Oh! You look different!"
7:28 PM Apr 20th from txt

Holy crapola, batman! My legs are far too long for these theater seats! My knees are jabbed into the head of the old lady in front of me.
8:58 PM Apr 20th from txt

Guy near me at ice cream parlor just said "I miss Ted Danson." Funniest sentence of the day.
10:34 PM Apr 20th from txt

Stayed up way too late showing @brady2n thinkgeek.com and adding things to my birthday wishlist
2:08 AM Apr 21st from web

Its completely nerdy, but I really want this: http://tinyurl.com/cnvjxw I would give up my Marilyn Monroe/James Dean themed bedroom.
1:34 PM Apr 21st from web

"Looks like something hit ya. A truck or something with a trailer hitch." What?! Something hit my car?! THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
4:19 PM Apr 21st from web

In Salt Lake City for pizza with Manda, Jess and @thehoneyman -- apparently I spend very little time in my own city, haha
9:44 PM Apr 21st from txt

I really should not be left in the backseat of a car for so long with my camera. Hope the passing cars enjoy the repeated flash.
10:38 PM Apr 21st from txt

Saw a photo of myself that was taken last night - uhhhh...decided to lose 302 lbs.
8:22 AM Apr 22nd from web

I'm in love with jalapeno popper flavored Doritos. Ok, crappy start to my losing 436 lbs.
12:44 PM Apr 22nd from web

Can't get a normal heartbeat rhythm--flutter, flutter, flutter. I'm broken.
3:14 PM Apr 22nd from web

Playing with a Nikon D80 and am pretty much completely in love. Have taken about 300 pics so far.
12:40 AM Apr 23rd from txt

Watching trailers for the new Star Trek. Dang, I'm excited!
12:22 PM Apr 23rd from web

Last night I dreamt I had to find a date for my cruise to the Bahamas next month. Was turned down repeatedly, despite it being free. :/
12:30 PM Apr 23rd from web

Wandered to the basement in boredom at 5:30, fell asleep on the couch, woke up at 10 to find everyone thought I wasn't home all night. Oops.
10:26 PM Apr 23rd from web

Yes, I would stand 6'3 1/2" thus making myself thoroughly intimidating to just about all men, but I need these: http://tinyurl.com/cdarrq
1:27 AM Apr 24th from web

Made a goal to not be negative today. Woke up too early, burned myself, got lost on BYU campus, graduation was full. That goal can bite me!
8:38 AM Apr 24th from txt

I've never worn a cap and gown. I feel I haven't missed out on anything except looking four times my size...something I try to avoid.
9:11 AM Apr 24th from txt

Dear Cracker Barrel, I think it's love. Smooches, Susannah
11:02 AM Apr 24th from txt

Hoping to see 17 Again (again) sometime today. I love @thomaslennon in this movie. So dang funny.
1:42 PM Apr 24th from web

Took advantage of the afternoon with a 4 hour nap wherein I dreamt about a roadtrip with no legroom. More like a nightmare, actually.
6:45 PM Apr 24th from web

At a YSA activity by myself. Pretty much recipe for a huge anxiety attack. Oh yay for being social.
8:42 PM Apr 24th from txt

Ah. The amazing genius that I am forgot to un-set the alarm for Saturday morning. GOOD MORNING
6:25 AM Apr 25th from web

"Okay, who brought the dog?" Meridith refused to watch Ghostbusters with me...so I forced it on her by playing it in the kitchen. Score!
1:04 PM Apr 25th from web

Is it uncouth to ask someone if you are going to be friends-who-occasionally-hang-out or just friends-who-comment? Wanting to clean up some of the FB friends
3:02 PM Apr 25th from txt

Some people go on dates on Saturday night; I party with my nieces and nephew. (ages 10, 8, 4) I'm totally gonna kick their trash on the Wii.
5:45 PM Apr 25th from txt

The 10 y.o. begins jokes with "Are you offended by Mexican jokes?" hahaha, she kills me.
8:03 PM Apr 25th from txt

My Wii Fit age is 25 -- which is only 3 months off (to the day.) Headbutting soccer balls...where do they get their supply of panda heads?
9:30 PM Apr 25th from txt

Hoping to finally fall asleep sometime soon. Watching Fifth Element... which makes 5 movies in one day. Oh look, its 4 a.m., goody.
3:54 AM Apr 26th from web

Last week I was picnic-ing in the sun, this week I'm driving through blinding snow. Come on, weather in Utah, DECIDE ALREADY. please.
11:28 AM Apr 26th from txt

About a cute tall guy in Ryans ward. "sit by him" "no!" "theres always next week" "what if he dies on Thursday?" "then it wasnt meant to be"
12:35 PM Apr 26th from txt

I so strongly dislike when my entire ward is in my basement. And forced introductions with strange men who already know my name. Antisocial!
8:36 PM Apr 26th from txt

"You must be Susannah." "My reputation proceeds me." "I know Meridith..." "Of course you do. Well I am the anti-social mean sister."
9:59 PM Apr 26th from txt

Ah, a new (gorgeous) day. Bratty attitude left after a good movie and bad dancing ...very bad dancing.
8:08 AM Apr 27th from web

Baby Ruth for breakfast. On my way to losing those 457 lbs! (lets see...peanuts are protein...)
11:20 AM Apr 27th from web

Shouldn't be around @thehoneyman at 2 a.m. anymore. I get way too silly and end up doing things like Cheerleading for Chunkies ®
4:24 PM Apr 27th from web

If I knew then what I know now...Prom would have ROCKED!
5:16 PM Apr 27th from web

Ryan is questioning my fashion sense -- Darth Vader shirt, flare jeans, and purple 4 in. heels. I see no problem with my outfit.
6:04 PM Apr 27th from txt

Remember how I'm going to the Bahamas in just over 3 weeks? Crap. Gotta step up my game if I'm gonna drop the 468 lbs. that quickly!
10:07 PM Apr 27th from web

Shouldn't have Aerosmith on repeat all morning. I spend the rest of the day randomly bursting out "I love you cause your deuces are wild..."
12:16 PM Apr 28th from web

Meridith: "Are you really whistling on the phone?" Susannah: "Did you really just call me from down the hall?" Meridith: "Touché."
4:02 PM Apr 28th from web

Has Nic Cage always been so blasted lurpy? p.s. Knowing is creeping me right the heck out. I may have yelled What the crap?! in the theater.
9:01 PM Apr 28th from txt

Did he read the entire script when he signed on? Hey, Nic Cage- was Knowing a good idea in your opinion? 'Cause I vote no.
9:32 PM Apr 28th from txt

Headed up to SLC to set up a convention booth--what good is having linebacker shoulders if I don't put them to use?
10:23 AM Apr 29th from web

Illegal U-turns, made up German words, forcing open emergency doors at the convention. Ah...nothing quite like an afternoon with Mein Vati.
12:15 PM Apr 29th from txt

My father asked "What do I look like, your sugar daddy?" when I said I'd like a new car, hahaha
4:58 PM Apr 29th from txt

Another evening full of mayhem with @thehoneyman and @huneywoman Let the fun begin.
6:33 PM Apr 29th from web

They are setting me up on a blind date for next week. Aaaaaaah! I said only if they say I'm 6'2, 329 lbs orange hair. Keep expectations low.
8:28 PM Apr 29th from txt

ITS JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT... Doing the Time Warp with friends. Oh yeah. We are that good of friends. ...AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIIIIIIIGHT
12:02 AM Apr 30th from txt

"Try to describe her and not use the word 'statuesque'" Having Jess watch my Movies You Need To See list. To Wong Foo now, Zoolander later.
1:41 AM Apr 30th from txt

Ryan- "What time is your midnight showing tomorrow?" Susannah- "...Ask me that question again." Jessica- "Hahahahaha!"
7:27 AM Apr 30th from txt

Sushi- "Look at me...I look like a lesbian rock star with a hangover." Ryan- "You do! Or a skinny Delta Burke." Sushi- "Hahahahahaha!"
7:36 AM Apr 30th from txt

Cleaning out some pictures and IMs stored on my computers from 1999-2006. Holy pack rat, batman! Trash is at 1,656 items so far
12:20 PM Apr 30th from web

GOT MY UTAH COSMETOLOGY LICENSE!!! (electronically, at least. paper version should be here in a few days.) HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH!!!
1:10 PM Apr 30th from web

Dominos now has pasta in a breadbowl. They are fulfilling a desire I never knew I had.
6:29 PM Apr 30th from web

Introducing Mystery Men to Jess (hope she loves it even half as much as I do.) Next up Ghostbusters then Monty Python and the Holy Grail! :D
8:26 PM Apr 30th from txt

Who is ready for a midnight showing of Wolverine? Oh, thats me. And I have to get up early tomorrow...I'm going to be so wiped out!
10:58 PM Apr 30th from txt

Everyone near me has games and movies on their iphones, waiting for the movie to start. :( I have...the ability to take pics of them? Lame.
11:42 PM Apr 30th from txt

People entering the theater 8 minutes before the movie starts: I have been in this seat for over an hour. Your lack of seat isn't my problem
11:55 PM Apr 30th from txt

March 2009 TweetyStyle

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:49:00 +0000

Dear Utah, whats up with the snow? Its not Christmas and I don't ski; go away. Dude, I'm freezing! Smooches, Susannah
8:19 AM Mar 25th

Thanks to @artificialgrape I can now get online in my bedroom. So its starting to set in that I really do live here again. Weird.
6:04 PM Mar 25th

Watching Sarah painstakingly edit a label with InDesign on a gorgeous MacBook Pro. She's amazing. Ive asked her to design my business cards.
7:54 PM Mar 25th

This morning I watched a crossing guard stop traffic so SHE could cross. No children in sight. Blatant misuse of power! Revoke the vest!
2:04 PM Mar 26th

Passing East High. High School Musical is filmed in Salt Lake and set in New Mexico. "Well there is a black guy in the main cast" haha
8:57 PM Mar 26th

Job interview went really well, as soon as my Utah license comes through I have a job. Holy crap thats exciting.
3:28 PM Mar 27th

Amy- "I have a confession: I stalked you yesterday. I drove by to see if your car was there." Hahaha! I love that my friends stalk me.
4:38 PM Mar 27th

Confession: When my father forgets to sign out of Facebook I look through the profiles of all of the LDS "celebs" he's buddies with.
1:59 AM Mar 28th

Clothes shopping with my mom. But because I'm 5'10 and stacked (and under the age of 65) there is NOTHING! ...but there a few stillettos ;)
1:02 PM Mar 28th

She is suggesting a Ladies Big & Tall! SHOOT ME NOW! No one should have to succumb to that, regardless of height or hips!
1:16 PM Mar 28th

Went to Sandy. Torrid has once again saved me from embroidery and appliques, HALLELUJAH!
3:36 PM Mar 28th

Dancing like a princess with Alexa and Sophia. Apparently princess just slowly spin in circles.
5:02 PM Mar 28th

No. No, no no. Its bad enough to have to attend a singles ward, but when your parents have callings there, too?! I'm moving back to NV.
1:14 PM Mar 29th

Can't shake a bratty mood today. Today is infuriating.
2:07 PM Mar 29th

IT WOULD BE NICE IF SOMEONE TOLD ME WE CHANGED LOCATIONS SO I DON'T WANDER AROUND WITH AN IDIOTIC CONFUSED LOOK! GRRR! TODAY SUCKS!
2:41 PM Mar 29th

Apparently the only thing to help the funk is making fruit pizza with 4 of my nieces. ("Rage...subsiding. Pulse...slowing. Anger...fading")
9:30 PM Mar 29th

Prancing around the kitchen singing I'M TAKING STEROIDS! while puffing on my inhaler before jumping onto the treadmill. ...I'm an odd duck.
11:10 PM Mar 29th

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas everwhere you go... Its a hot chocolate day, but instead I'm making malt shakes with 4y.o. Ella
10:39 AM Mar 30th

The 4y.o. is cheating at Connect 4. "Lets not make it fair, Aunt Susannah." She can't handle black kicking her wussy reds trash!
11:19 AM Mar 30th

Time to make The Honeyman try Sam Hawk. Do I really want to hear the picky eater whine? Bibbidybobbidyboo and bulgogi!
3:52 PM Mar 30th

"I hate this road because right over there is where I saw the UFO." - one of my best friends, The Honeyman Hahahahahahahahaahaahaha
9:22 PM Mar 30th

Sus- "I only got 45 minutes of sleep, I'm really tired." Dad- "Were you up for a while after coming in?" Sus- "Yeah. Thats how that works."
9:25 AM Mar 31st

Decided to spend my lunch waiting for Ryan to do things at UVU. WORE HEELS. lack of sleep is clouding my judgement.
3:10 PM Mar 31st

At the Gateway with Amy. Wore heels because I'm an idiot. Grabbed flats to change into because I'm a genius.
7:39 PM Mar 31st

Aw, and I thought I wouldnt have strange men talking to me as I put gas in my car when I moved back here. Thanks random dude in Sandy!
9:37 PM Mar 31st

For the low low price of only 39.99!

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:39:00 +0000

Because I've missed updating for several months I wasn't sure the right way to go about filling in the holes. While talking to my sister I decided the easiest way was to compile my twitter updates and work my way from there.

The Big Move:

I have drinks, junk food, all 3 iPods charged, and new playlists. Roadtrip!
4:57 PM Mar 23rd

Left my purse in Mesquite, NV -- thank heavens my sister was already planning on making the trip to St George tonight. I'm a disaster.
7:40 PM Mar 23rd

The new roadtrip playlist includes Aerosmiths Big Ones and Michael Jacksons Dangerous--both enjoyed at a high volume, as they should be.
9:55 PM Mar 23rd

Roadtrip Day 2: We're not in Vegas anymore, Toto. There is caffeine-free Diet Pepsi at the fountain...this is so very Utah, hahaha!
9:23 AM Mar 24th

Passing exit 188--the spot of my spin out and head-on collision last year. Ugh. I could've been killed so easily if the SUV hadn't slowed down
11:35 AM Mar 24th

When I win the lottery I'm moving to the Levan, Utah trailerpark. When friends visit we'll double the population.
12:18 PM Mar 24th

Why hello, Orem. I'M BACK! Have you missed me? (I'm just with you until something better comes along.)
1:13 PM Mar 24th

What the?

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:02:00 +0000

guess the body part

Hahahaha
While going through some pictures taken tonight I noticed this. HOLY CRAP. It looks like the flesh of an orange!...but pink

I have got to do something about that.

Aided by miniature fans of lashes

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 08:08:00 +0000

About a week and a half ago (August 21st) I randomly decided to go on a quick roadtrip. My friend Adam, who had just met me about 3 weeks prior, agreed to go with me only a few hours before we left. (Contrary to what my family thinks, I was not running away to avoid anything about Meridith's day or the family or anything. I wanted to drive to Vegas, a cute guy said he'd go with me, thats about it.)

We left late Friday night and got into Las Vegas really late. After spending time with some of my Vegas friends we headed on to Los Angeles. We went to Knott's Berry Farm with my friend Brady, who is living in LA for a little while. That night we drove back to Las Vegas. After some much needed sleep we drove back to Orem.

It was a really random, but really fun trip.

----------
A few quotes:

Gas Station Guy- The bathrooms are closed, I repeat: the bathrooms are closed.

S- No one wants to hear about you wiggling the rose.

A- [in regard to roommates] I love men. They make me happy.

A- I feel like Helen Keller! [trying to find his glasses in the dark at 3 a.m., running into the table]

A- Can you imagine a world where everyone was like me? ... The world would not be as interesting if people were like everyone else.

A- If that ride is not running I will stand there and try to cry...poke myself in the eye.

S- You feel naked without your seatbelt?
A- Yeah, like leaving home without your fuzzy jockstrap.

A- I hope this isn't a bad neighborhood.
S- Maybe we should stop and ask someone.

S- It's brain damage on a stick.

S- Shaken baby!

B- I dare you to ask that guy if its real [referring to his diamond-esque stud earrings]
A- Are they real? Can I touch them?
S- I get that question all the time.

A- Is this my little Audi friend?

A- There goes a Porsche...there goes a Corvette...and a Mercury, trying to keep up.

A- I'm a guy. (or Because I'm a guy)

A- I'm a dude.

A- Its like a PSA.
S- Its like a PSA with a cowboy.
A- Every good PSA has a cowboy in it.

A- I like my name... first they gave me life then my name.
S- Its like a country song.
A- ...or the bible.

NPR- Aided by miniature fans of lashes

Lloyd & Sushi -- Us in monkey form

A: "This just sums up our entire trip."
S: "The monkeys do??"
A: "They're fun and random and kinda weird."

Determined to appear sullen in every picture -- but check out the rocking haircut by yours truly

SO PUMPED TO GO TO KNOTT'S BERRY FARM!

The moment Brady realizes they're wearing very similar shorts.

Posing? Or caught midsentence?

The reason we decided to drive to Los Angeles: The Xcelerator, Adam's favorite ride.

Brady and I are exiting the ride when I realize Adam is not with us; I turn around to find out Adam's lap bar did not release and he is stuck on the ride, hahahahahaha

Because I knew I'd get all hot and sweaty while at Knott's I chose to not wear makeup that day...not a choice I agree with now.

"You're not getting the sign in the backround..."

"Get the camera...its our LA traffic jam." (at 10 pm!)

Soooooo ready to be out of traffic and back in Vegas for the night.

After 20 hours in the car with no CD player and only my talking to listen to, I think Adam was ready to be home by this point ;)

Utah County, Utah -- Home

Heads up seven up

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:41:00 +0000

With my boyfriend--an 18" stuffed Captain Kirk that I won from a claw game machine

I've been chided by several people for my lack of updates. Sheesh.

So I will attempt to play catch up with the last five months of my life...

forced recognition

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:16:00 +0000

I didn't want to join the ward because my friends (other than Amy) are no longer in there. It is full of younger siblings of my friends -- people Meridith went to school with. I am now on the older end of the ward. (So weird.)

My singles ward tends to get together quite often. Besides the usual church meetings they have ward prayer followed by game night on Sundays, Thursdays they have sports night, and various planned activities every few weeks, as well as spur-of-the-moment get-togethers.

For the past six weeks or so I attended Game Night with my little sister, Meridith. They usually play signs, which I refuse to play. It is only for this reason: I would suck at it. Having to remember my own sign, letalone twenty others, is an unnecessary burden on my short-term memory. And the very thought of being the person in the middle is terrifying.

Every time I left game night I'd be mildly annoyed, and I'd talk to Mer about it. I told her that I hated that no one talked to me, no one got my jokes, no one even cared that I was there. Meridith tried to explain that it was just because no one even knew me.

I wanted to hold these people at arms length, but have them get to know me at the same time. Uh...

About a week and a half ago, in a fit of frustration, I IMed my little sister (from different rooms in the same house, haha, thats how we do) and told her I've decided to be proactive. "Proactive about what?" What did she mean 'what'? The thing I told her about 45 minutes ago, which I am apparently still stewing over and would she please read my mind already?! I told her that if I'm going to ask them to get to know me I have to let them be my friend ("at least facebookishly, haha")

So I added about 15 ward members to the cult-like following I consider my FB friends list. (bwahahahaha) And decided on a personal goal to go to every ward activity/planned outing/spur-of-the-moment get-together I heard of.

Also known as the day I took crazy pills.

Lets take me, the social phobic who hates being in these situations, and throw her self-invitingly into these exact situations.

It is incredibly difficult.

For the first time in my life I feel directly compared to Meridith. Her best qualities against my worst. In these groups Mer is quick to smile, very sweet, asks how you're doing, how your job hunt is going/mom is doing/test went. In these groups I tend to go into a defensive mode. I'm overly loud, snarky, and dismissive...or I stand in the corner, silent.

Everyone knows Meridith. No one knows Susannah.

Mer:
5'8", slender, can quote scripture/conference talks, loves all things Jane Austen, clothing varies from June Cleaver dresses to mens cargo shorts, speaks in correct grammar.

Sus:
5'10", chunky, can't even tell you where to find the book of whomever (thank heavens for a quad with tabs), loves all things Marilyn Monroe, clothing varies from Anna Nicole Smith dresses to Darth Vader tshirts, speaks in movie quotes.

So I'm trying to be friends with my little sister's friends.
Susannah: "I just texted [name], [name], [name] and [name]. Is that weird to you?"
Meridith: "All guys I've been on a date with. But no, thats not weird."

Uh...well its weird to me.

I have a really really hard time being just myself with new people. I am a quirky one, and my personality can be hard to get sometimes. If I'm nervous all my bad quirks come out. I say the stupidest things, putting my foot in my mouth all the time.

Ward member: "...but I have trust issues with men. I've been literally scarred because I couldn't trust men I've dated, so I have trust issues."
Susannah: "You were literally scarred by mistrust? ...can I see it?"

I have enjoyed a lot of it. I really have.

But my timing sucks.

A large portion of the people I've been getting to know are moving out of the ward in the next few weeks.

Uh...

I'm not really good enough friends with anyone to really stay in close contact...I mean, I could try, but it may be just...I dunno. Weird?

Aaron: A good friend of ours is moving.
Susannah: And that'll be the last i'll see him.
Aaron: It doesn't have to be.
Susannah: hahaha. I often force myself into peoples lives...doesn't mean I should do it, sir.
Aaron: lol good point

(edited, but still the general idea of the conversation)

Wait, he what?

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:58:00 +0000

Sometimes I miss working in Jayar's office. Oh heavens, some of the conversations with him or Frank (his uncle/colleague) still leave me in tears from laughing so hard.

Jayar: "A spoonful of crack helps the medicine go down."

---

Frank: "I'd pull the plug for you man, if your head was ever cut off and you were just lying there with a cap on your neck. I'd pull that plug, Jayar. 'He never wanted to live with a cork.'"

---

Frank: "Hey, I found some paperwork of yours the other day. I wanted to check with you if you need it before I destroyed it ...so I shredded it yesterday.

---

Susannah: "Did someone sell a truck to your dad named Oscar?"
Jayar: "My dad's name is Oscar."
Susannah: "No it's not, shut up."
Jayar: "My dad named Oscar? A truck named Oscar..."
Susannah: "No, did a dude named Oscar sell a truck to your dad? Or did you sell a truck to Oscars dad? Or did you sell a truck to a dudes dad named Oscar?"
Jayar: "Where is this coming from?"
Susannah: "Some guy named Oscar is in the front office, and he's trying to remember who he is here to see."

---

[while looking at a business card]
Susannah: "If you had a bright red face do you think that you would do something about that before getting the picture taken?"
Jayar: "You mean the sunburn?"
Susannah: "Yeah."
Jayar: "With the bright red backround?"
Susannah: "Yeah. And the red hair and goatee."
Jayar: "Huh."
Susannah: "Do you think he was going for the monochromatic look?"

---

Susannah: "I'm kind of a grammar and punctuation nerd."
Jayar, singing: "Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!"

---

Jayar: "On a scale of one to ten my excitement level isn't very high."
Susannah: "Hahahaha!"
Jayar: "What?"
Susannah: "It was just funny that you explained the numerical boundaries, yet didn't assign your excitement level a numerical value."
Irma: "Haha. Like from one to ten it was a C."

---

Frank: "I'll be back. Will you be here til 5?"
Susannah: "4:30"
Frank: "Ok. I have a key...but if you lock me out I'll still be upset."

---

Jayar: "Hey Susannah, can I borrow George (my VW) to go to my dentist appointment?"
Susannah: "Yeah; but you break him you buy him...You break him you buy me a brand new him."

---

Frank: "You need to marry money...a doctor."
Susannah: "No thanks."
Frank: "Or a dentist."
Susannah: "Nah."
Frank: "Why not dentist?"
Susannah: "The expectations would be way too high for my own dental situation."
Frank: "Why not doctor?"
Susannah: "Insurance is way too high."
Frank: "How about a successful mortgage professional?"
Susannah: "Haven't met many of those." (Oh snap!)
Jayar: "You don't think I'm successful?"
Susannah: "We've been through this before."
Jayar: "Do you find me repulsive?"
Susannah: "Hahahaha."
Jayar: "Is it because I'm mean? Do you think I'm mean?"
Susannah: "Oh my. Hahahaha."
Frank: "Thats the way it should be; it should not be any other way."
Susannah: "Did you see the shirt I want? With the laser gun and it says 'beeew!'"
Jayar: "You're funny. But I'm still upset at you."
Susannah: "Ok."
Jayar: "Something about me not being good enough."
Susannah: "Hahahahahaha."

---

Susannah: "Do all of your eight brothers have classic names like Bill and Frank?"
Frank: "Francis."
Susannah: "Duh, I know your name is Francis."
Frank: "Yes. Bill is William, Christopher, Mark, Robert, Daniel, Francis, Jamie..."
Susannah: "Oh, that's cool."
Frank: "Robert?! I don't have a brother named Robert!"
Susannah: "HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

---

Pam: "Why are you chuckling?"
Sus: "Jayar just told someone to quit smoking."
Pam: "Oh really?"
Jayar: "It didn't go over well."

---

Jayar on Korean pop music: "'Chong cheenga chonga chong chong I want to love you all day cheenga chong'; you know thats what they're saying."

---

[While discussing --in person-- what to do with a file]
Jayar: "Ok, I'll call you about it later, Chica."
Susannah: ...?
Jayar: "Yeah, I was talking to you, Susannah, and why I said something like that...I don't know."

---

Frank: "Hey, Susannah, we saved you a piece of pizza but then we left it on the table when we left--it's really the thought that counts."

---

Frank: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...you won't."

---

Jayar: They don't adhesive well enough.
Susannah: They don't adhesive?
Jayar: There are those who adhesive and those who don't adhesive well...if you follow me.

---

Irma: "Remember this guy?"
Jayar: "Who is this guy?"
Irma: "Remember? He's the guy who came by when you were gone, I told you about him. He used to be a drug addict."
Jayar: "Did we put that down under job history?"

---

Jayar: "Fix it then."
Susannah: "I can't fix it!"
Jayar: "Just put on your Bill Gates brain and make it happen."
Susannah: "I can't put on my Bill Gates brain, though; I have a Steve Jobs brain!"

---

Jayar: "I thought it was cool that she noticed the possible payment shock and mentioned it."
Susannah: "I didn't get that email."
Jayar: "Well, you're not special."
Susannah, motioning knife through heart repeatedly
Jayar: "Maybe you'll be special tomorrow. Who knows?"

---

Frank: "You're looking especially white today."

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 07:03:00 +0000

As of a few minutes ago I am now officially 25-years-old.

Sick of feeling sick

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:30:00 +0000

For some strange reason I have not been feeling well lately. For the past, oh, month or so? I've felt sick after eating at least once every day. Regardless of what it is I've eaten. Within twenty minutes of finishing my Bajio salad last week I was so nauseated I almost asked my manager to send me home early.

As I began to drift off to sleep last night I was hit with stomach pains. Ouch!

Right now, once again, I am feeling the waves of nausea. I had two little handfuls of raspberries about three hours ago, and had a sandwich and a Diet Coke several hours before that. No reason to be in pain again.

Grrr!

Some people suggested I go gluten-free for a bit. (*gasp* but I am the Carb Queen!) Others suggested I cut out sugar entirely.

I Googled several things and basically came up with two lists: foods that can cause nausea and foods that contain gluten. Between the two there is nothing left. Uh...potatoes, actually. So it looks like I will remain the Carb Queen with a plain baked potato in hand.

25 on the 25th

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Amanda: What kind of presents do you want for your big 25? And if you say nothing I am going to get you something really crazy!

Susannah: A 6'2"-6'5" brown hair, brown or green eyes, funny, single male between the ages of 26-31.

Amanda: Hmmm...is it kinda weird that my brother fits that description? Like exactly!

Susannah: oh yeah. uh...hey Ryan...

Amanda: Hmmm...well, I will work on it!

Susannah: hahaha, ok

---------------

I suppose it is once again time for Susannah's Wishlist

new professional clippers/trimmers

Nintendo wall graphics (because, come on, thats cool)

Plush microbes (I have common cold, sore throat, and flesh eating disease)

Mini plush microbes in petri dish

A work in progress...

Where I yell YEAH FREAKING RIGHT and peel out

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 07:08:00 +0000

The back of my car is filled with...stuff. Not necessarily trash, though there definitely is a bit of that, but mostly just odds and ends. There is a TV, rollerblades, 4 pairs of shoes (real shoes, Laura, not flip flops), a bucket filled with 25+ pairs of sunglasses, a vase, a basket filled with papers I don't want to lose, 4 mannequin heads, etc. The backseat is tucked in and the car is full to the brim.

I threw those things in the back of George when I moved about two months ago. There isn't really any where to put them right now, and I don't really have a need to remove them from my car right now. I never have more than one passenger, and its pretty rare for me to even have one at all.

Tonight I was looking for my little sister Meridith when she finally called the house.
Mer: Did you call?
Sus: Dad did, we were wondering where you are.
Mer: Oh, I'm in Manti.
Sus: Oh...why didn't you invite me?
Mer: I told you I had plans tonight.
Sus: You told me you had plans, you didn't tell me you were going to the singles ward activity tonight.
Mer: Oh. Sorry.
Sus: I suppose Amy is there with you, then, huh?
Mer: Yeah, she's right here.
Sus: Oh, ok. I was going to call her tonight. ...uh, ok, have fun...see you later.

A few minutes later Meagan called and said I actually had about two hours until it started, so I could drive down and meet them there. I really had nothing to do, and I'd rather hang out with my little sister and some of my friends than chill at home doing nothing...so I started off on the hour and a half drive to Manti.

Besides missing my exit having to swerve and brake to avoid hitting a deer, the ride up was OK. ...oh, and thinking I was lost for a little while there. I forgot about that.

Amy rode home with me, and Meridith rode with Meagan. As we came out of the canyon and neared the freeway Amy got a call.
(This is pretty much just a summary of what was said. Some is exact, others are in the general tone.)

Amy: Pull over here.
Sus: Whats going on?
Amy: Layni's car broke down. They said to put stuff in Trent's trunk and the other stuff in Meagan's trunk...
Sus: Wait, what?
Amy: I guess they need us to put some people in the car, so they said you could put some stuff in Trent's car and stuff in Meagan's. Meridith probably told them you had stuff in the back.
Sus: Uh...yeah right. No.

Trent: We need you to fit some people in there.
Sus: There is no way. There is simply no way.
Trent: We can put some stuff in my car.
Amy: She just moved and has things packed in the back.
Sus: No, dude, it's not possible. There is too much, and I'm not throwing it in someones car. There's, like, a TV back there! And the seat is folded up, its flat, there is not even a seat back there right now.
Trent: We need to find places for five people. I need you to do this.
Sus: It's not happening.
Amy: There isn't even a seat there, even if we could make room for anyone.
Trent: Because you've got a ghetto car.
Sus: We will NEVER be friends.
(I drive a Volkswagen New Beetle. There is nothing ghetto about my car, other than perhaps the dents in the hood from getting hit last winter. I just moved. There are things from my move in my vehicle. Until I cut in a homemade sunroof or create a Beetle/truck hybrid out of it, my car is not ghetto!)
(I can not explain in the correct words my extreme dislike of this person)

He leaves my window...Amy gets out to check on the situation...Amy gets back in...We decide we are of no use here and I turn the car back on...He returns to my window...

Trent: I need you to take one person.
Sus: I can't.
Trent: I can't fit five more in my car. I need you to take this guy, he's small.
Sus: And put him where? The DASHBOARD?
Trent: You have to take him. There is nowhere for him.
Sus: I don't have a place for him!
Amy: Ha, unless he sits on top of me.
Sus: Yeah, he could sit on her lap (and even then wouldn't have a place for his legs.)

He and Amy discuss who is still in the canyon and doesn't yet have cell phone service, who may have room in their cars, and whose numbers the other person has. Amy starts making phone calls...he walks away from my window.

Trent: If you aren't willing to help you should just leave, get home.
Sus: Oh, thanks your highness. The King says we can go now.
Amy: I couldn't reach [so and so].

Ugh, eww. It had me annoyed for the hour-long drive home. I haven't said "bite me" in a long time, but it certainly came to mind a few times.

Skip Meridith!

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 08:35:00 +0000

We have far too much fun together while playing Phase 10 at 1 a.m.

Deborah: What is in your Thirst Buster?
Susannah: Old nasty diet Pepsi.
Deborah: Eww...can I have a drink?
Susannah: Yeah.
Deborah: That tastes like what they pour off car batteries.

Meridith: Thats disgusting, why are you drinking it?
Susannah: Because I paid for it.
Deborah: That sums Susannah and Dad up: because I paid for it.

Aaron: Have him come over and find out what kind of hugger you are.
Deborah: Did you just say hooker? Find out what kind of hooker she is?

Meridith: I'm throwing myself out there.
Deborah: You're not. You are dipping a toe. You're not just throwing yourself at him.
Susannah: Like me.
Deborah: Susannah's like BAM! KABOOM! ...oh, you don't want this?

Deborah: Tito does this little salsa.
Susannah: Is that your salsa? Hahahahahahaaa.
Deborah: Haha, yeah. Its my dog salsa, hahahaha.

Susannah: You know whats nice? We all have different first initials.
Meridith: You just figured that out?
Deborah: Mer noticed at the beginning of the game.

Swans are gay.
Aren't all swans chicks?

Meridith: He laughed.
Aaron: How can you tell?
Meridith: He wrote LOL
Aaron: Lips on lips?
Deborah: LIPS ON LIPS! He's been wanting to kiss you the whole time!
...
Deborah: Liposuction.
Susannah: Liposuction?
Deborah: Lip o luction.

Aaron: We often have to call the wah-mbulance for Deborah at our house. Wah, wah, why are you winning?
Deborah: I don't say 'Why are you winning,' I say 'Why are you cheating?!"

Deborah: This is redick.

Aaron: The spirit is prompting me to make out with you.
Susannah: Thats my new pickup line.

Deborah: You're such a good sport...you're almost like a sports bra.

Deborah: It's so fun to be married to Aaron because he trash talks me.

Deborah: She's taking it so well.
Susannah: No she's not. There are tears behind those...freckles.

Deborah: Susannah won.
Susannah: Will you say it louder?
Deborah: *quieter* Susannah won.
Meridith: *mocking* Say it again. Louder. And call me princess at the same time.
Susannah: Su-prin-san-ce-nah-ss won.

Deborah: Sometime tonight we're all gonna bust up laughing...but I'll be asleep.

Susannah: Jupiter is 1,300 times the size of Earth.
Aaron: Yeah. A lot of people could live there...but no one does.

Susannah: Everything that comes out of me is awkward.
Deborah: Really? *whisper* Even in the bathroom?

Susannah: Drink it!
Deborah: Do it.
Susannah: Just drink it!
Meridith: I do not give in to peer pressure.
Susannah: Don't drink it! Everybodys not drinking it. Whatever you do, do not drink it.
Deborah: Nobodys ever drank it.

My other secret

susannahmysocalledlife@gmail.com (Susannah) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 08:31:00 +0000

All night Deborah kept referring to "Susannah's secret" and I had no idea what she was talking about.

Yeah... uh... I need to learn to log out before leaving the room.